Missing Scott

Btrcup Member Posts: 286
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi all, hope things are well for everyone struggling with this horrible disease. Today is one month since Scott left us for a better place.
I guess I'm just feeling down. Last night I took the kids trick-or-treating for the 1st time without Scott. For some reason, I keep expecting him to call me at work today. Maybe it's because today is an anniversary of sorts...I don't know.

I finally got my Jeep back. Took a trip up to NJ this past weekend. Of course, nothing is easy. I picked it up in the morning and didn't think of checking the lights...well my headlights don't work. Left NJ Sunday afternoon and almost made it home in daylight hours. About 15 minutes from home it got dark so I had to drive with my high beams. Probably pissed alot of people off...lol.

Sounds like Vegas was great. Wish I could have been there. Hopefully, the next Colon Palooza. Well you all take care. Hope to see the pics soon!!



  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member

    I always feel so helpless when I read one of your posts. I just want to say or do something to make everything better. If I can take away your sadness for just one moment, I would. Your children are very blessed to have such a strong mom. I know, there are days when you feel like the world is against you. Just look into the eyes of your children, they will remind you of Scott, and the love he had for you all.

    And whether you like it or not, you are definitely a semi-colon, and now have a new support base whenever you need one. We will expect to see you at the next Palooza, it will do us ALL some good...

    Take care,

  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347 Member
    Stacy said it so well but just had to add my support. I think about you often. Time will help and your two beautiful children will bring you comfort.

    Take care,

  • crazylady
    crazylady Member Posts: 543 Member
    Hi Linda,
    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down, though it's completely understandable. I'm so glad that you can come here for support and to share your feelings.
    Take care,
  • oneagleswings
    oneagleswings Member Posts: 425 Member
    Funny- I was thinking about you today- didn't really realize it had been a month- I'm glad you are keeping in touch and pray that as time goes on this will be a bit more bearable...don't discount your "spiritual side"...with the feeling that Scott was going to call you at work...
  • livin
    livin Member Posts: 318 Member
    Hi Linda, so glad to hear from you. So Sorry to hear you are down. Come here when ever you feel like. You are a life long member. We are always here, 24-7. Be strong for you and your two children. God Bless You all. Livin
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    livin said:

    Hi Linda, so glad to hear from you. So Sorry to hear you are down. Come here when ever you feel like. You are a life long member. We are always here, 24-7. Be strong for you and your two children. God Bless You all. Livin

    Hiya Linda. I gotta agree with Bev about the spritual side of things. I really don't think the anniversary is the real cause of you expecting the phone call sweetie. My dad passed on his birthday, new years day...and you know Linda that every new years day that feeling of him being around has never left me. Hey..I think Scott was not just a thought on the day..I really think that he "wanted" you to know he is still with you. Just like my mum and dad are with me. Every now and then I get the feeling that they are very close!
    I guess that sounds a little strange to a lot of people but you see Linda...thats my feelings.
    I truly believe that our loved ones who have passed on are still with us, watching over us.
    Love n huggs, Ross n Jen
  • goldfinch
    goldfinch Member Posts: 735
    Oh! That was you with the high beams shining in my eyes this weekend! Just kidding. I was no where near NJ.

    Seriously, I would expect that you are down. It's only been a month! I'm sure there are going to be a lot of up and especially down days in the coming months, esp with the holidays coming. I know you'll find the strength to get through, but remember to take care of yourself over the next few months. I know Scott is there with you. Take some quiet time for yourself every now and then to feel his strength supporting you.
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  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member

    that is so totally normal. For one thing your souls are intertwined. How could you not expect to get that phone call. He would have been the one to share these things with you.

    For a very very long time I would still go to the phone to call my sister. Then when it hit me that she was dead I wondered how could I have forgotten such a thing. But it's not really about forgetting....it's about being so connected that for a split second your brain does not catch up with your heart. Because it is there that they remain. They are alive and well in your heart. So why wouldn't I go to the phone? Ahhh.....and the dreams. My sister came to me plenty in my dreamworld. She comforted me, gave me messages (seriously I kid you not) about her daughter, showed up at odd places that were nice surprises. I woke up feeling "visited" and it was good.

    So Linda, I am glad you come here and tell us these things. Keep coming back. :-)

    peace, emily who was surprised that it wasn't just the year of "firsts" that was hard.....
  • themis01
    themis01 Member Posts: 167
    I continue to think of you and your children. Hope to keep hearing from you and how you are doing.