They are circling overhead!!

JMPJCK Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
The vultures are beginning to circle overhead waiting for me to drop so they can come down and pick my bones clean!

I am so tired of everything I am going though. I am exhausted!! This is just too much to go through alone. When my husband died I was still going though chemotherapy. I have advaned stage 3 colon/uterine cancer that has spread. I have been trying to do all I can to complete the needed repairs to our home but with electrical, plumbing, carpentry and to not even have a working bathroom. I am tired of not having a working toilet and taking a bath out of a bucket. I don't think I can continue to try and keep patching and mending our home alone. I am just so thankful for the blessings I do have. My garden and my pets. I have now developed type 2 diabetes because of the physical stress of facing all of this alone. I have a strong faith in God and so many times that pulls me through but when I turned to my home church for help and was told it would be a liability to provide the help I need it just broke my heart into pieces. When you are a disabled, widowed, cancer patient you become very isolated in this world.

Here is my personal web site, for those interested in leaning more about this situation. I try to be positive on my web site so if anyone visits who is going though a difficult time they can, perhaps, feel better about their situation. But at this time I am just so worn out and tired of not having the help that is needed to keep up the good fight. Perhaps it will help you come up with ideas that may help. If I were not so ill and had to stay close to my doctors I would consider moving as many have suggested. But moving alone without help when you are fighting just to stay alive is not possible in this situation. I am living on our savings and have no income at this time. Moving is expensive even in the best of circumstances. This is home. This is our home. Home is where the heart is. People make moving sound as though it was as simple as changing your clothes. Making the needed repairs to my home is far easier than any move would be. And, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

I hope everyone here is doing better than this. If you are faced with this situation and surviving it you are truly a super human or you have someone, somewhere that cares about you enough to pitch in and help.



  • musiclover
    musiclover Member Posts: 242
    Patricia, have you tried searching online for state funded services for homeowners? I was in Seattle and did that for my mom using Google and was very surprised to find many free or reduced cost services for home repairs, etc. There may be the same services in your town for homeowners. If you are a senior citizen there is a goldmine of services to be had. Just go to google, type in "(your town) homeowner senior citizen" and you should see many things offered to help out. Do you have any friends? Anytime someone asks "let me know if there's anything I can do for you" say yes! and give them specific answers - laundry to be done, shopping, cleaning, repairing what they may be useful repairing. Hope this helps and good luck to you.
    JMPJCK Member Posts: 8
    To my internet friends and family,

    I guess I should clarify that I am 50 years of age and am not able to receive senior benefits. I am just now qualifying for disabled widows benefits and that has meant surviving three years without any income just to make it to this point. Please, I don’t want anyone to think I have been quietly suffering with my cancer and the situation that I am living through. I explain everything I have done to get the help that is so desperately needed on my personal web site plus a lot of details about the situation. If you have any difficulties accessing the site please let me know and I will work at getting those problems fixed. Also, any questions that you may still have after visiting my home site just send them my way and I will get you the information you need.

    Thank you to all of my internet friends and family.

    Patricia, Stockton, CA