Rectal Cancer - Support for my Mom

Caligirl

Hello everyone, I'm brand new to this wonderful place of support and am in desperate need of a person who is either going through or has gone through Rectal Cancer to "buddy up" with my mother who is 71 years old and was diagnosed on June the 13th. We have made it through the first 5 weeks of treatment and are now in the "waiting period" until we meet with the surgeon and schedule the surgery. I am her 45 year old daughter who has moved home to care for her, as my father is 76 and has health issues of his own.

As a brief history, over the last 3 years we survived my parents being hit by a Texas State Trooper while drving to Tennessee, (2002), then they lost their home of 34 years in 2003 to the Firestrom that ripped through San Diego, and we got nothing out of the house, then last year 2004, the Manufactured Home company they were getting their new home from, forgered their signatures on documents, closed escrow early and took the money, (we currently have the District Attorney investigating this), so when the Cancer diagnosis came on June the 13th, we were given permission to move my parents into the home to help in Mom's coming treatments and surgery. As you can imagine both my parents are swimming in frustration, disbelief, depression and helplessness, and we've all tried our best to jump in and take over, but what Mom needs now, is to talk to and or meet with someone who has gone through what she is going through to "justify" for lack of a better work, what she is feeling and to have a safe place to share her pain and fears. My parents are strong, proud people, they don't want to be burdens to their children and grandchildren, even if we tell them they aren't and we are honored to help.

I just wish there was more I could do...

Anyone out there that knows what I'm talking about, can anyone help us?

Sorry to babble on, but I think it's important that you know our backgroud so you can understand the eyes in which my mother is currently viewing her world with.

Thank you and God Bless all of you. Keep fighting the good fight. The circle of life is an amazing thing..

Feel free to call me if you wish, I'd be happy to speak with you.

Vickie Bradeen
619-672-0582

kangatoo

Hi Vickie and welcome to our wonderfull "family". I had left descending/sigmoid cancer(stage 2) which was not as low as your mum but am sure someone here will reply to you that has the same condition. Sorry to hear that your mum and dad have had a rough time. What a dreadfull situation..but hey..you are there for them and that counts for a lot. All of this is going to scare the hell out of you all, quite understandable but remember..you have now joined a most fantastic group and we are all here to help you get thru this. Don't be bashfull or ashamed, embarrassed to tell us about this journey. And it is a long journey Vickie, frought with anxiety and depression. But there are good and bad times. We share everything here...the pain, frustration etc..simply everything!
Yuor parents are so fortunate to have a loving daughter to support them. It won't be easy..but thats why our group is going to be so valuable to you.
"more you can do?"....you are doing what you can gal. The best advice I can give you is be tolerant when moods swing..and they will..be a shoulder and listen with understanding(that is the difficult part)
But above all..this is imortant!
Take care of yourself and don't let cancer overwhelm you to the point of effecting your own health and life. You can only do so much! You will be of no help to your parents if you let the problems of cancer get you down.As hard as it is..try to keep control of the fear.
cheers....our very best from oz, kanga n Jen

alihamilton

Hi Vickie, you and your family have had a really bad time recently and now this! I can imagine how you are feeling. Firstly, it is wonderful that you have moved in to help your mother...how lucky your parents are to have such a wonderful daughter! Love and support and the best treatment are what your mother needs now, and hopefully she will get all three. The first two she already has. How did she respond to the treatment? Physically, I mean. I can imagine her fear and trepidation. I do not live in the US so I am sorry I cannot call. But are there any support groups in your area? Maybe sharing with someone who has been through this would help her. Does she use a computer? If so, she could come on the board. Otherwise, you could print out the responses for her. Please let her know that we welcome her to the board. You do not say what Stage her cancer is. My husband is nearly 67 now and was diagnosed two years ago with Stage 111C rectal cancer and underwent surgery and chemo/radiotherapy. It took him awhile to get back to "normal" but he is well now. He has worked nearly all the way through except for the first five months and thereafter he worked half days until recently, when he went back full time.

Your parents have had so much to deal with in the past three years....it seems unbelievable that so much could have happened to them but maybe it all strengthened them too. They got through it and can get through this too. But please let your mother know that whatever she is feeling right now is OK...she will probably go through lots of different feelings and they are all justified.

Do keep posting and ask anything you want to know...we are here to help.

Ali