To Sue-BSRules

grandma047
grandma047 Member Posts: 381
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hey Sue, Read my reply to your post. I'm sorry that I'm at the bottom. I've been really busy and I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you. I really care about you. I hope you're doing better.
Love and prayers, Judy

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  • bsrules
    bsrules Member Posts: 296
    #2
    Judy,

    Hello my dear friend!!!! Please Don't appologize to me. I should do it to you!!! I didn't want to upset anyone as you have alot on your plate right now and I don't need to add to your stress. Yes, I was in a VERY bad place. I didn't know how to survive it. All I thought about later on as I was walking in the fields behind my house thinking and crying was of you. I remembered what you went through and told myself that if you above all could find the strength to go on then I had to find it. You helped me in a way that no one else could at that time!!! I can't say that the thoughts have gone away but they are not at the service. I know that Bob wouldn't want this of me. I just have to find the purpose that is to keep me here. I am ashamed of myself for what I have been putting everyone through. I just was at the end of my rope and was looking for something to help me hold on. I guess it was everything hitting me at once. I have put my feeling on the back burner for so long and they were building and I couldn't stop them when things hit the fan. The news from the kids and Erv and then the heater decided to quit and I couldn't get a hold of anyone that could come and I just lost it. I guess it was the straw that broke the camel back being mine. Today was tough to say the least it being Bob's birthday. Here I go again crying. I just can't stop. I was like this for 3 days and I just don't kow how to control my feelings anymore.

    I just want you to know that you did help me whether you realize it or not!!!!! You are a very special friend and I cherrish every minute I have know you and will know you in the future!!!!

    How are you doing? How is the new chemo? Please let me know how you are!!!!!

    Give you husband a BIG hug from me for being there for you!!!!!

    Love Always!!

    Sue

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