daughter terrified

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sandi8858
sandi8858 Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
my 65 year old mother just had her breast removed she was told by one doctor that she has 2nd stage in her lymphnodes cancer anyhow she was told no chemo no nothing would help her.Then she seen an oncologist same day said chemo and radiation WILL HELP.she has had 2 small strokes a mild heart attack..but TOUGH HIGH SPIRITS..She knows shes gonna be sick i want to know what the survival rate for a woman her age? i forgot she has a kidney disease as well..any HONEST REALITY time so i can prepare im talking average time..God knows a doctor can give you a year to live and ya can live to be a 100. im asking for stats is all ..by the way She lives for my 3 year old and anyone who reads this as i pray for all of you pray for her..I JUST WANT WHAT THE STATS SAY..please

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  • hillbillycat
    hillbillycat Member Posts: 79
    #2
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    Hi Sandy, My mom is 64 and I know I would be very frightened if anything serious happened to her.I do think that attitude is really important. I go at times to cancer support groups and I have met there (many) women in their 60`s and beyond who fight cancer or who have fought it several times in their life. One thing I noticed was their attitude. They are fighters.Find a book called "Chicken Soup for the Survivors Soul" I guarentee you it will inspire you and your mom. Also get the book by ...I think it is by Bernie Siegel,who is a oncologist and who tells wonderful stories about REAL people who overcome cancer. Look him up on the internet and read about him. If you want statistics you might look at the Mayo clinic and type a question for an online oncologist.I have done that..Good luck to you and your mom....Shirl
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    #3
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    Hi Sandi:

    I'm so sorry to hear of your Mom's cancer but encouraged to hear of her fighting spirit!

    It may be that with your Mom's stroke history, in addition to her heart attack and kidney disease, the first doctor didn't feel that chemo and/or radiation would be appropriate for her? (By that, I mean, safe for her) I'd ask him to explain his reasoning and get details of why he's advising no treatment. Go with your Mom and make notes to help in recalling just what was said at each doctor visit. It's good to also jot down your questions so you don't forget something while you're there. That note making and note taking was something I seriously relied on during my bc experience.

    It may be wise in your Mom's case to seek at least one additional oncology opinion. It can't hurt a thing and may even serve as a learning tool. Since the other two doctors are at such opposite ends on treatment vs. no treatment, I'd want to have that 3rd opinion to consider.

    After all the opinions are in though, it comes down to what your Mom wants regarding treatment. The final word on that must be hers. Getting well informed is a very important part of helping us to make our best decisions.

    Regarding survival stats for someone your Mom's age: I do not know. Much of the stats available out there are based upon stage of disease at diagnosis and many other factors. (I personally don't consider stats worth very much) It would also be helpful to get a copy of your Mom's pathology report and go over it, item by item, with the doctor. If you go to: www.nci.nih.gov you'll also find some info which I hope will be helpful to your Mom and yourself.

    I know it's very difficult for all of you, so hang in there and try to calm down and do some research and talk, talk, talk with the doctors until your Mom feels that her concerns, issues and questions have been answered as thoroughly as possible. Anything you're unsure about, ASK for an explanation from the doctor and don't leave until it's answered. If necessary, make another appointment for aksing questions, etc.. It's that important.

    Sending hugs and warm wishes!

    Love, light and laughter,
    Ink
  • mc2001
    mc2001 Member Posts: 343
    #4
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    Sandi,
    I will keep you and your mom in my prayers. Just an FYI... when I was 21 I got diagnosed with acute leukemia. Initially I was given a week to live.. I recieved the Last Rites three times... well... I am now 31 and have been in remission 8 years. Thank God. This is to let you know that there is always reason to try! Never give up and make sure your doctor doesnt either!
    God bless.
    -Michael
  • SusanAnne
    SusanAnne Member Posts: 245
    #5
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    Hi Sandi,

    So sorry about your mom's diagnosis. I'm very glad to hear though that her spirit is tough! That will make it easier for her and your family to get through this. If you're worried specifically about her survival because of her age, I don't think that alone will work against her. There have been numerous studies regarding treating older breast cancer patients just as aggressively as younger ones and they do just as fine. Her medical problems will of course have to be taken into consideration. Ink is right as far as getting a third opinion. Pick apart the doctors brains and make them get specific with their reasoning. Stage 2 is considered early breast cancer so I wouldn't be counting your mom out anytime soon! The statistics you see published may have been calculated years ago before the advent of all the current treatments we have today. Don't get hooked on a number. Stay strong and good luck.

    Susan

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