First Chemo Visit

LorettaB

Hi, Everyone,

I had read all the threads on Ever1's "Starting Chemo" and was just wondering how it went for her.

I had mine on 3/31. I decided to stick with the oncologist that I had started with (see "Surgeon/Oncologist Disagreement") though my trust was compromised. Very sick that evening, very queasy the next day, then after the neulasta shot, felt very badly all day. I couln't eat anything solid until the fourth day.

I have to admit, I cried when they first hooked me up into my port. I just hated that something this foreign to my body had to be injected. And quite honestly, I didn't want to talk to anyone, especially the social worker who came by. I didn't want to talk about my current psyche in a room full of people. I just didn't want to be social. I guess I expected it to be more supportive than it was after all the things I had read. Or maybe I expected myself to be more supporting of others...but I just didn't have it in me. I'm so darned conflicted!

I am at work and seem to be doing OK, just light-headed. And of course when my friends at work asked me how I was doing, I cried. I've been a professional my entire career and this cancer thing has just knocked me down several pegs. Someone tell me this gets better!

Thanks, Everybody!
Loretta

chessie

Loretta, I know you are not alone in your feelings. I felt the same way, however, instead of looking at the 'red stuff' as being something bad - try to look at it as a good thing, a cure. Visualize the cancer cells dying (I'm told they start to die immediately..) So, keep the good vibes going, and chase away any negative feelings that creep in. I know, I was there. Can totally sympathize with you. Take a crossword puzzle, and a CD player, and of course, if you have a support person that can accompany you to go to the snack bar for treats, that is always helpful! I am glad that you went back to work - I lost my job when I had to go in for surgery as they would not approve my leave of absense (a government job and I was not yet unionized) so you have that to be thankful for. Also, I was too sick to work, I admire those who can hack working along with chemo infusion. Be mindful when you get to be around 7 to 10 days after chemo, (your nader) that's when the counts are at their lowest before they start back up. Take care, and keep thinking good, peaceful thoughts!

ever1

Lorretta,
I'm glad you posted on the web. I had sent you an e-mail on 3-29 but didn't hear from you and was worried. I had the same feelings as you did during my first chemo treatment. I had tears in my eyes too when they were getting ready to do the port-a-cath. After everything finally got hooked up, I was a little more at ease. A lady next to me talked during most of the session so I just sat and listened to her. I felt sick the first day several hours after the treatment was over. They gave me a sample pack of Emend (3 pills, took one before the treatment and 1 the next day and then the third one the next day. I also had heartburn or indigestion. The next day, I was able to drive to get the shot & felt a little better. The third day, I started feeling tired and my shoulders and ribs hurt. By the 4th day, I was ok. Check your e-mail, I would love to keep in touch while we are going through chemo. Thanks especially to all who responded and gave me support with my questions. The support here is incredible. I feel closer to the people here than at the support group in my area.

KirO

Hi Loretta

It does get better believe me. I have had two course of chemo the first was the worst it made me feel really sick and tired. The second course just made me weary. Think of the chemo as something good that will make you better - stay positive. The nurses at my chemo unit were lovely and looked after me very well and listened to all my problems. Take something with you when you go for chemo a book or magazine whatever you are interested in - something to take your mind off the chemo. Plan ahead as to what you can do when the chemo is finished.

I don't have a support group to go to but I think the CSN message board is better. We must all stick together.

I am in remission now - it is worth it.

KirO

tylermurphy

I think this is the first time I've actually written, but I'm not new to the board as I've been here since January 2004 when I was first diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. I remember being absolutely scared to death of the chemo. Looking back, I can honestly say it wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I always brought magazines and my CD player but more often than not I'd end up watching tv. I always brought a package of peppermint lifesavers. My daughter had given me a guardian angel too that I always took with me. It had a little prayer on it. I won't tell you the entire prayer, but this is the paragraph that I said over and over again in my mind during chemo, radiation, all my tests, etc: "Drive away disease from my body, bring good health to my mind." What could be better than that! Anyways, just hang in there. This is something you can get through. Cancer certainly makes you realize what you are made of. My hair was super straight, and it is now a mass of curls. (Not sure if I'm happy about that or not!)

mc2001

Hi Loretta,
First, let me say that I think what you are feeling is normal. Now.. I had leukemia.. not bc. But.. I had chemo, radiation, 6 surgeries, dialysis...etc... I did feel bad... sometimes I didnt want to talk to anyone... just too hard.. and I HATED... one person after another asking me..."So, how are you feeling/doing/hanging?".. Even tho they all meant well.. I wasnt in the mood to explain to everyone. YOu probably dont want to hear someone say..."Oh I had a neighbor whose sister had this and they are....." These are normal feelings... but as time goes on... you will begin to feel better and your outlook should improve. Give yourself time and room to feel. Take care and God bless.
-Michael

carolinakitten

LorettaB, Hi I read your insert's. I also have Breast cancer. I go for first Chemo Treatment Tomorrow/4/7/05/ I have been here before 6.5 yrs. ago. I have put all mt trust in the Lord. He brought me thru this then & He will do it again. Please know that you are not alone in this. Take care , Be Stong & know that there are others out here who also care about what you are going thru. Beth

inkblot

Hi LorettaB!

Kudos to you! It sounds as if your 1st treatment went very well.

I hope you'll take a few minutes to read my post to Ever1. It is a ditto to you.

It does, indeed, get better. That you're managing to work is so courageous! I know several women who chose to work during treatment and most said that it was helpful to them because it kept their mind off everything. Do what works best for you and your particular situation.

I know, that first treatment is a beasty for sure! All things considered, I'm surprised that more of us don't actually get overcome and just bolt at the last second, before the drugs are even started! LOL That we just walk in there and get with it still amazes me. If we really think about that, it's positively one of the bravest things imaginable. I've yet to witness anyone being dragged in, kicking and screaming though...not that we all don't feel as if some kicking and screaming may be beneficial to us at that moment!

Hoping your successive treatments go well and that you are very soon realizing for yourself that it DOES get better.

Love, light and laughter,
Ink