New here - depression question

shelly65

Hi all - I was diagnosed in Nov. 2002. Mastectomy and chemo, followed by Tamoxifen which I recently quit due to side effects. Problem is my mental state is the worse it's been since diagnosis. Just can't seem to find my happy place anymore, having general feeling of dread on a daily basis. I started Prozac 2 weeks ago, it has helped some. Anyone else dealing w/depression or anxiety? What did you do to make it better?

Ellison

Hi Shelly

I too was given Prozac for depression. I took it for about two months and then I weened myself off. I did not like the way it may me feel. I can't explain it, don't get me wrong it does help. My doctor wrote be out another prescription the last time I was there but I never got it filled. It has been a couple of years since you had your chemo? I guess I was wondering if maybe you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or I also think all the chemo we have to take changes our chemestry for awhile. It sounds like the Prozac is working. Just give it more time.

My cancer has come back. I am in stage 4 and was taken off of tomoxifin and now on femera. I won't know until May when I have my next scan, if the Femera is working. Hopefully I get a remission. So I sure do know about anxiety and depression. This last time was really rough. A part of me wanted to give up. I was angry and dissappointed. I fought hard and did so well the first go around. I was not even a year out and was told it is now in the pelvic. It was very hard in the beginning. It was on Oct 27/04 when we got the news. It has gotten easier and now I am getting my affairs in order. I think once I do that I can go and enjoy my life. They gave me Two to five years. At least it was not two to five months.... So many decisions to be made and I am greatful I have time to do it. I have a wonderful family and friends.
I depend more and more on God and less on myself these days. It works for me and keeps my head above water so to speak. Don't get me wrong, I have my days when I cry, feel sorry for myself. I don't like staying in that place very long so I make myself do something.

This is all such a process. Life it not always simple is it. You will be ok, just hang in there and know your not always going to feel the way you feel and it will get better one day at a time.
You are not ever alone, we all have those feelings and that is why we are here for one another.

I get up in the morning and thank God for letting me get up one more day.
The days I don't have pain, I am so greatful also and I let him know it.
I ask him to give my husband strength also. I lean into him more now. It has really brought us closer together. It was not always that way and now it is. I know now why I could never leave. My husband and I are here for one another today. It sure makes a difference.

I will put you in my prayers tonight

Ellison

vac

i was diagnosed in oct 2002,had bilat mas with transflap reconstruction my stomach opened a month afterwards ugly picture i had nurses every day to clean the wound. i was started on the tomaxifen before chemo oct 2003 i had a stem cel transplant went through with flying colors. i was in the hospital in resp. iso for 1 week i thought i was going crazy my husband and family in ft. lauderdale and i in tampa the nurse and all the hospital employees were great. after that my mom came up and stayed at hope lodge at least we got to go out, we went to the mall and movies and to the grocery store. i had to wear a mask shape like a donald mask i got stange looks i did not care.well the friday before thansgiving i was discharge yea!!!!! went to orlando!!!!! my sister and one of my daughters came up i was so excited went to disney world that monday had a great time. i went twice when i stayed with my mom had a great time. i love disney. i am not on any antidepressants. i love to laugh.and quality time with my husband, my biggest supporter.

docholly

I was diagnosed in 12/04. I had bilateral mastecomies and TRAMs 1 1/2 weeks ago (2/24). Personally, I have been more anxious than depressed...but I am still in the throws of dealing with the initial diagnosis and treatment, etc.

In my other life (i.e., before I had surgery and went on short-term disability) I was (am?) a psychiatrist. Antidepressants take 4-8 weeks to take effect. If you are anxious, medications like prozac can make the anxiety worse at first. It often helps to take it slowly: start on a low dose and raise it slowly (over weeks to months) if needed. Some people who don't like one medication find they do well on a different one. But you have to give the medication enough time on a high enough dose to say whether it works or not. It's not a quick fix. Given the stress of cancer, it might also be helpful to meet with a therapist...especially if it takes time to find the right medication and/or dose. Sometimes therapy alone can treat depression--especially if it's one of the depression-specific therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy or interpersonal psychotherapy. Unfortunately, it can be hard to find therapists with those skills in many cities.

Hang in there. Depression and anxiety are very treatable illness. Some individuals have greater/lesser biological predispositions to them..but they are illnesses not unlike cancer (not your fault; need to be treated). It helps to have a good doctor to work with you on fine tuning treatment (it's a bit like chemo in that respect...combining the science of treatment with the art of medication management). good luck. don't be afraid to switch doctors if needed.

Sullivan

Hi Shelly, I battle depression and misplaced my happy place too. Will i find it again? I hope so. I went to my dr. and stopped taking Zoloft/Lexipro and now im on Cymbalta, and that seems to help, but the same problems i still have to face, the death of a very special man in my life, the diagnosis of my mom having bc 8 mo. before me,and my mentor died all a year before my cancer. I havent had a chance to greive one and im hit with another, my father died Dec. 18th.05 and now a friend of 20 years is dying in the hospital with stomach cancer. Does it ever end? my answer to that is yes and "what doesnt kill us makes us stronger". I hope that is true ( i sure should be strong)! I think of the time that i left here and think that maybe the lessions are to make us strong, to balance us for when we pass into the next life, i firmly believe that death is an extention of life, and is not failure! My depression at times imobilizes me. That i battle with and try to win! Its a game of life like a board game and i like to win! If you havent had depression than it is harder to understand the full strenth it takes to come out of it, but i keep trying, and when it overwhelms me i get up and take a shower put on makeup jewlery and a nice outfit and look at the person in the mirror, and say wow you look marvilous. ( my spelling is horrible) I read an artical called "Mirror, Mirror", Becoming that person who is me. It was powerful! [Cure mag.]www.curetoday.com Dont give in or give up...pattie

kamehameha6470

Hi Shelly:

I was diagnosed with bc in May 2001. I had a 1 year old, a 4 year old and a 6 year old. To me, fighting the actual cancer was easier than afterward.

I feel that I should be grateful for my life. I've had almost 3 more years of raising my kids than I would have had, had not my doc been so keen during a routine exam.

Still, because of the loneliness and helplessness, and lack of understanding that the body still has to heal after treatment, I am in a similar place. I've had to stop taking tamoxifen, and I still remain so far removed from the person I used to be, that I don't recognize the real me anymore.

So what keeps me chugging? Firstly, my kids and keeping involved in their schools. Also, I give happiness to others that I cannot, right now, give to myself. I've made gifts for friends, handmade items for preemies, and useful but pretty things for kids in foster homes. Most importantly, I pray that God will give me grace to live through tomorrow to give me one more day to find my happiness and myself once again.

Oft times we are so willing to be uplifting to others and to pray for their needs. Sometimes we forget to pray for ourselves.

Hope you find that happy place again. In the meantime, know that you are not alone. We all fight in one fashion or another.

With much aloha,
Kei