How to save some tax money, and other things

johnom

I read today that the VA did a study of 2,700 patients. First they did a digital/rectal exam, looking for occult/fecal blood. Then they did a colonoscopy a few days later after a prep. They concluded the digital exam alone was "worthless" since it missed the tumors in 95% of the patients who had them. So many latex gloves wasted.....
On 9-ll-02, in a nearly empty building because of the anniversary date, I had an Army Reserve physical with a digital exam. The doc pulled off the glove as I pulled up my pants and explained that there was no fear of colon cancer since I didn't have any occult (which means "hidden") blood. Had anyone asked me about ll months ago I could have saved a lot of time and effort.That was right after they found a l0 centimeter tumor just 8 centimeters in from the anus. they said I am stage II (no lymph nodes involved), but mucous lakes were outside the bowel. (I love to fish, but never knew about those). And when you think about it, of course a digital exam isn't worth much unless your tumor is no more than 6 or 7 centimeters from the anal verge. We all got to this diagnosis and treatment in different vechicles, but the parking lot is never full,is it?

I went out last weekend and bought a new(er), bigger, and too expensive home. I am going to move in a couple of months, and I converted from a 15 year mortgage I could easily afford to a 30 year mortgage I can barely afford. Why? The answer is in the words found in your messages, worries, prayers, condolences, consolations and explanations on this board.
The question isn't why, it's why not? I am thumbing my nose at my fear of recurrence, the upcoming tests, the interminable toilet trips, the Desitin I carry in the car with my immodium and aloe wipes...I'm not giving up, I'm facing up to the rest of my allotted time, whatever it may be. I may be cured I may be cursed, but I am no longer curtailing my future. Like the cowardly lion in Oz, I allready had the courage, but didn't know it.
Keep up your chins and your chats. It's going to be a better year for all of us. No matter what stage they put us on, we always show up for every performance, don't we?
Okay, I'll shut up. Just reaching some conclusions and resolutions. I hope everyone of you takes heart, as well.

J.

kerry

J,

Great message and you are so right. I am in round 2 of this deadly disease, responding well this time and the doctor has even mentioned the words "complete remission". I too will not live my life worrying about the next step - it will come one way or the other. I will be vigilent in watching my health and looking for signs and driving the doctors nuts by making sure they do their jobs, but it won't dictate my planning for my future. Right now I am in the midst of chemo for recurrance, and also in the midst of planning a new home which will break ground in the middle of February.

Thanks for the "early" bird message. So true.

Kerry

RunnerZ

Like the attitude!! I, too, had rectal cancer, exactly 8 cm up as well. I was stage 3, because they believed that at least one lymph node was involved (they could never tell for sure because the preoperative chemoradiation obliterated all of the evidence). That was 6 years ago. I know all too well the discomfort and worry caused by this disease and its treatment. You talk about the frequent trips to the bathroom...I know them all to well. However, your message caught something. Our survival attitutde, our willingness to move forward in life despite our unknowns. We are like the cowardly lion. I took a new job, and moved my family of 5 400 miles back to my small home town in western NY. I told my wife that I wanted to be happy where I lived, even if I only lived for another year. That was 4 years ago. Thanks for the lift this morning. Appreciate it.

goldfinch

J,
great message. I am working hard to reach that spot of looking forward to promise rather than dread. I am inching my way there. No one knows what life will bring next. The trick is todo with you life, what you planned, and let the rest fall where it may. When I was diagones with my metastasis in Dec 2004, i started thinking about dumping a bunch of my vases and trinkets, so the family wouldn't have to get rid of them for me upon my demise. Then, isaid...hmmm that might just be giving the universe the wrong message. so i'm keeping them. Besides who knows who's going to go first in this big wide wonderful world.
Mary

MUGGINS

WELL SAID! I APPLAUD YOUR ATTITUDE!

kangatoo

MUGGINS said:

WELL SAID! I APPLAUD YOUR ATTITUDE!

Hey John...ah likes yah attitude my friend. Actually, now that our kids are grown up and we have given them all a helping hand we are now "spending the kids inheritance". Selfish I guess in some ways but there will be dividends to them in "house value". As you all know, Jen and I are "geriatric" bikers..errr. as opposed to "bikies"...lol
Dang things are expensive to have and run but...what the hell....not gunna be here forever. We intend to live a long time....and enjoy that time together for as long as our health allows.
Our club mottow is "Growing old disgracefully!"
As far as the fear goes...guess it never leaves us...but that doesn't mean I let it rule my life!
luv , kanga n Jen

taunya

Thanks for the lift. I really needed that. I wonder about those dumb#4$$ exams myself. Didn't help then, why now? Thank you for sharing your courage. Be Well,
Taunya