Not good news

Btrcup

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well. Things are not looking too good here. Scott is still in the hospital. They cannot get his bowels working. He has not eaten solid food for 2 weeks. He has been on a liquid diet, but as of this morning he's been throwing up. Now he is complaining of ribs pain. They are doing a bone scan today.

I am so numb right now. There are some days when he is ok and others when I can't even talk to him because he is so depressed. There is a psycologist (sp?) going to his room to talk to him. I am glad for that. Our 4 year old cries everyday for her daddy. I'm sorry to sound so down, but its just how I feel.

Well gotta get going. Sorry to bring everyone down. Hope you all have a happy and healthy holiday.

Linda (Baltimore)

Fitlisa

Hi Linda,

Im sorry that Scott is still in the hopsital. Hopefully his bowels will start working very shortly. I too have the rib pain - must be a component of peritoneal carcinomatosis...my onc. thought I had broken a rib but, strangely enough, it didnt show up on either my PET scan or CAT scan as broken, or as anything actually..but the spot on my liver is on the right side and the right ribs are the ones hurting. I would be curious to know whether this pain shows up on Scott's scan.

I know how numb you must feel...and you know I know how Scott feels. Please dont ever give up, never. I know how trite that sounds, I do, but I so believe in positiveness..I feel so helpless, I wish there was more I could do to help you Linda, I truly do.

Please remember you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts daily. Keep in touch please.

Lisa

Unknown

(((((((LINDA))))))))), please do not apologize to this group for anything that you post. When dealing with this awful disease, there are good days and there are bad days. It is each of our hope that the good far outweigh the bad, and your good days are just around the corner.

I know this is not an easy time for you and your daughter with your husband in the hospital and seemingly no end to what is happening, but past experience has taught me things will and do turn around.

Back in October 2003, my Bert was so sick with a colon infection caused by the chemo that I thought I would loose him to chemo!!! It went on for days, even when in the hospital. Now, for someone who has never had anything wrong with him in his life, days seemed like years to both of us. Miraculously, overnight things changed. The doctors, the nurses, no one really knew for sure what finally kicked in, if anything, or what exactly happened, if anything, but things changed at it was all smooth sailing for there on....slow sailing, both smooth.

Please don't give up hope and don't give up on anything. Things will turn around...I know they will. Keep your faith in a higher power and in your husband's and your strength the triumph over this monster.

Many hugs,
Monika

taunya

Linda,
It breaks my heart to hear how difficult things are for you and your family right now. I wish I could march right up and give all of you a gentle squeeze and then maybe, do your dishes or anything that would help relieve some of the terrible stress. I am thinking of you and praying for you. Please don't give up; so many people make what seem to be 'miraculous' recoveries from this monster, you can never give up hope.
Love and Hugs to you,
Taunya

spongebob

LInda -

I too wish there was something I could do to help Scott feel better and to make you feel happier. I think that the helplessness one feels with this disease is one of the worst components. And it is a feeling shared equally by survivors and caregivers alike. But we're not completely helpless. I truly believe in the power of positive thinking and the power of prayer. Know that I am focusing a lot of positive energy on you and Scott right now and will continue to do so throughout the next several weeks. As for your little one, when she cries for her daddy, maybe you could talk to her about how brave her daddy is trying to slay that dragon that has invaded his body. She's probably too young to comprehend "cancer", but maybe she can get the metaphore. It's important to know that he feels bad because he's trying to get well for you and for her.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, my Bahlmorian friends.

- SpongeBob

alihamilton

Hi Linda, there is not much I can add to the comments above but just to say I hope things improve very soon. So many of us have been in times like yours when things looked really bad and then, miraculously, it got better slowly. When I look back to a year ago at this time, my husband was so down. I remember tears just streaming down his face and a distant look of sheer helplessness. I felt so helpless myself. Now he is so much better and able to eat this Christmas. Even though he is very conscious that the future may bring new challenges, we are able to enjoy the here and now, something we could not do a year ago when everything looked hopeless.

I do hope Scott soon feels much better. Do look after yourself too. Having a little child to comfort too makes it even harder for you. But hang in there. My prayers are with you.

jsabol

Lisa, My heart aches for all of you; please don't apologize for how you feel. At least we can continue to provide a place for you to come and vent. This must be so hard....being strong for Scott and your daughter. Are there friends and family who are supporting you, too? Perhaps you both can speak to the psychologist. The staff who work with this disease often have so much to offer.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Judy

JKendall

Hi Linda...Don't beat yourself up for the way you feel. It's okay. The positive feelings and the good outlook WILL be back. I know from personal experience that it's much more harmful to try to supress them and turn them inward. A friend described it to me like this: Suppressing your feelings and the turning the bad events in your life is like trying to hold tennis balls under water. You might get away with holding down a few, maybe a little more, but they will start to get away from you and bob back up to the surface.

Take care of yourself, and give yourself a little TLC as well. You can help Scott be stronger when you have strength.

Take care. Jimmy

2bhealed

(((((((linda))))))))

This hug is for you and your family.

My heart goes out to you all. Know that your family is in my prayers.

I hope you can find some happiness in the season.

peace, emily