I need to hear from someone who has gone through this

jordans11 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was just diagnosed yesterday, although I have known since Monday...but not really known. I'm just 31 with a husband and 1 1/2 year old daughter. I have no idea how I am going to get through this. My surgery is in five days. Please if you've gone through this, let me know. I need to hear it from a real person and not just read a static story.



  • Hang in there Susan, I'm an 11 year survivor and there IS light at the end of the tunnel, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
    We'll all be praying for you and cheering you on, on the 18th. Please let us know how you're doing.
  • seeknpeace
    seeknpeace Member Posts: 259

    I am so sorry to hear that you will have to deal with bc. It can be a scary time. Do you know more about your diag? What stage, grade? There are a lot of ppl here to help and support you any way that we can. You can cry here, scream here, rail at the unfairness, whatever you need. We are here for you. Just hang on. Right now you must feel like a deer in the headlights. I remember last January being where you are. There is no time between dx and surgery to really get your bearings. Just hang on. I send you my love and prayers..

  • marytres
    marytres Member Posts: 144
    Hi Susan, it's never easy but there are many of us who survive for a very long time and get on with a nearly normal life. You learn to live with it. I'm a 4 year, almost 5 year, survivor. If you need to vent or need a shoulder to cry on or hear another story , I'm here for you. My address is mariateresa.lacava@inwind.it
    Hugs, Marie
  • llange
    llange Member Posts: 54
    Hi Susan,
    I was diagnosed 3 yrs. ago at age 37, with 5 and 8 yr. old children. This past June I had a huge 40th birthday party - 150 guests, caterer, band, etc. - to celebrate still being here for that milestone. I also had a friend going through treatment at the same time as me, and she is 5 yrs. younger than me. Today we golf or play tennis together on a weekly basis, and I guarantee that nobody that doesn't know us would ever guess we are cancer survivors.

    When you are first diagnosed and don't know what is ahead of you is the scariest time of all. After you have more information, it's a lot easier to deal with it. I'm sorry you are going through this, but you will get through it and we'll pray that you have a good outcome.

    Feel free to email me here if you would like to talk more.
  • SusanAnne
    SusanAnne Member Posts: 245
    Hi Susan, I'm Susan too. I just finished up my treatment in July. I think the thing that helped me the most was to truly understand everything about my diagnosis. After your surgery make sure to get a copy of your pathology report. Read it and have everything explained to you. This is what the oncologist will base your treatment plan on so it is very important. I was given three choices of treatment options so most likely you will need to do some research and make a decision. This actually was a good thing for me since I felt like I was asking for the treatments rather than having something thrown at me. Also I've come to learn that doctors like it when their patients ask informed questions. Chemo is nothing like you imagine. Depending on the drugs, you might feel like you have the flu for a few days after a treatment. Don't be frightened by it. We here on the network will be able to help you with any and all questions or concerns. I'm sorry to have to welcome you into this sorority but please do lean on us for support. My thoughts and prayers will be with you for your surgery and recovery. Let us know how you do.

    Take care,
  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    Hi Jordan, I know those words " Breast Cancer" is scarey as I am a three time breast cancer survivor. My first bout with bc, was when I was 28 yrs old. My hubby left me. Oh well, his loss. Anyway, take things one step at a time. Are you able to have a lumpectomy or do you have to have a mastectomy??? There are all kinds of chemotherapy out there. You will make it. There are many of us who have walked this path before you and are here to cry with, laugh with, talk with SURVIVE with. Take things in little steps one at a time. I know it sounds undaunting, but you are strong, and will make it. If you have ANY questions, just email me at rsmith2@new.rr.com I will be more than happy to help. I am now 42 after two more bc's one at 36 and the last at 40. I'm flat as a board, but still here. My son who I had at 33 inbetween bouts 1 and 2 was 2 1/2 the second time I was blessed. He will now be 10. It does get easier or at least tolerable to deal with. Screaming and crying are all part of the deal. Knowledge is a powerful thing and all the people here will give you their honest answers, support and love. Hugs... hope to hear from you soon.

  • wildangel
    wildangel Member Posts: 81
    Hi Susan,
    I know how overwhelmed you must be. But please take a big deep breath. Ok- do it again. Now look how many of us are here. We have all had this news and the GOOD NEWS is- you will make it through these next couple of weeks!!! Believe it or not this is the hardest time of all- even harder than any chemo or anything.
    So what you have to do is just take it one day at a time. Don't try and absorb everything at once or you will drive yourself crazy.
    When you get a path report and have other questions that you are unsure about come on here and we will help you. We all learned the same way and it is hard! But it will make sense and you will start to understand what in heck that doctor is saying. It just takes some time.
    I am a three year survivor and I NEVER thought I would survive the first month. But I did! And YOU WILL TOO!!!
    So one day at a time and remember we are here for you!!!
    Take care and don't forget that breathing ok?? Ok.

  • martyzl
    martyzl Member Posts: 196
    Dear Susan,

    As everyone here is telling you, you are not alone! We know you are scared- we have been or are scared ourselves. You can make it through this!
    I am 2.5yrs out of diagnosis and will be 2 yrs out of my chemo this December. I was 37 when diagnosed, newly married to my soul mate for all of 6 months and pregnant with our first together, with 2 young daughters from my practice marriage.
    Today, I sit here with our 2.5 wk old baby girl, conceived post-chemo-induced menopause. Amazing world it is.
    Life is good, I live it fully.

    Be aware that your family, friends and acquaintances may react very differently than you expect... everyone has their own way of dealing with it, for better or worse. Don't take it personally if it's not what you want or expected. Put your energy into yourself instead. You will also be pleasantly surprised at support you may receive from unexpected sources. This is a good time to learn to accept help and support! (Hmmm, sounds rather like a horoscope, eh?? *smiles*)

    As has already been wisely mentioned, you may feel more in control or comfortable if you understand your diagnosis, your status and all that, some of us do. I was relentless in my research and it empowered me...
    Know that everything will work out. You are stronger than you think. Believe me. *hugs*
    We are all here for you.
    Keep us in the loop, we will be sending you strength, healing thoughts and all the positive energies we can muster!

    Be well Susan!
  • audnrock
    audnrock Member Posts: 5
    Hi Susan my name is Audrey. I am a breast cancer survivor with a husband and 3 children ages 17, 14 and 8. My last chemo treatment was Nov. 2003. I am sorry you have to deal with this horrific disease at a young age. I was 41 when I was diagnosed. The most important thing you and your family can do is ask questions and be included in all the proceedures. Read about the disease and treatments. Contact discussion groups. Have faith in yourself, your family and in God. Stress is a number one NO NO. I know that sounds stupid, because this is a stressful situation. But in the midst of everything find a tranquil moment and destress. I cannot emphasize this enough. Relax. There is hope at the end of the journey. And last but not least Laugh! Laughter is the best medicine God has created. You can e-mail me anytime. Audrey
  • DoubleKnot
    DoubleKnot Member Posts: 41
    Hello Susan,

    I know the shock that you are in right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully better news in store for you. Have you heard about the "Sentinel Node Biopsy"? When they do an Excisional Biopsy, they can do a Sentinel Node Biopsy and that will tell them IF the cancer has spread outside of that area. I did a lot of research on the internet after I found out that I had breast cancer. I first went to the hospital and to the Medical Records Dept. and asked for copies of everything concerning my breast cancer, lab reports, doctors notes/diagnosis, all of it. I then started my search for the information so that I could make an informed decision based on my diagnosis and I even cross-checked the information on various cancer sites to see if the info. matched. Luckily, when I went in to see my doctor concerning the surgery, I was armed with the right questions and was able to make the right decision FOR ME. I had an Excisional Biopsy, Surgery to widen the margin around the tumor area, and the Sentinel Node Biopsy. I HIGHLY recommend it. There is less surgery and less healing time. There is much less chance of getting Lymphedema after the surgery also, which is the swelling of the arm. You might want to ask the surgeon/doctor if you qualify for this type of surgery. My cancer was the Invasive, but Thank God I was lucky and it hadn't spread to the Lymph Nodes or outside of the tumor area. My Mom is My Guardian Angel, and I have no doubt that she was watching over me through all of this ordeal. The best of luck to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. No, you are not alone, there are many of us in the same boat. Take care and don't give up, because you have to stay strong as possible now.