Hi there. My name is Brian and I have stageIV metastatic mealnoma. Looking for friends in the same boat. Dont feel bad, but the mind game is totally draining. I wanna quit my job and run away,...not from the experience of living, but from the toxic medicines and death. I have the hardest time turning my body over to the gross side effects of the next recurrence when I feel so well. What would happen if I just ignored it? I have had 4 surgeries already, a year of interferon, and chemical changes in my brain due to all the mood medication I was on. The junk brought out latent bi-polar issues in me or something. I am sooooo grateful to find this group and see that some of us have lived,..I was feeling alone and all I could hear was the bomb ticking in my head,...waiting for that lethal spread. What do you you guys do OTHER than take medicine to fight this?