Joined a support group and learned something already

wimpy

hello

I have joined a support group with real live (rather than virtual) people. I was listening to their stories and so many of them are sad. They are all dealing well with things as they are now (new reality) but as they told their stories I grew more and more upset and angry with the treatment they have received from friends, family and co-workers. People in general are probably well meaning but seem to say many unhelpful things to cancer patients leading to guilt, shame and the overall feeling that a positive hopeful front must be sustained for the well care givers no matter how one actually feels that day. Don't get me wrong, I am sure the caregivers do not intend to say inadvertently mean things but don't know any better. By listening to the support group people I realized that I was angry about some of the ignorant comments that I have received. Does anyone else feel this way about it?

seeknpeace

Hi

I have really been lucky because I have not had any remarks that were out of line, well, maybe one. My mom said, "Oh No, I am supposed to die first" when I was diagnosed. And, I took that ok because I know that she would never mean to hurt me. Ppl do say the wrong thing often when they do not know what to say. I think for me, it is why I put it out there, so that if anyone wants to ask, they will, and maybe I will help just one woman who was told to wait 6 mos, as I was, demand a biopsy and save her life as well. I totally understand that we all have a different feeling about that, but, I am just an out there person anyways. Live outside the box, you know?

Sorry, I went OT.

Jan