Whats next

1984to1994 Member Posts: 14
edited March 2014 in Childhood Cancers #1
These are some longtime feeligs of mine that I just need to get off my chest. Ignore them, read them, respond to them, It matters not. Here goes for the first time. I was diagnosed with ALL at the age of 2 then again at 8 I am now 22. Since my remission I have been trying to figure out whats next. how to put this, so hard. It feels like my life was a B movie where the end happened in the middle but somehow just seems to continue to limp along. I also have not been able get rid of the feeling of ........ desparation in trying to find reasions to keep up the fight. Then there are the brief but viberant flashbacks of people, places, feeling, odors, and tastes. I still sometimes remember overwelming feel,smell,taste, of the radiation. The pain in my back of a spinaltap. The antiseptic smell of the hospital rooms that i grew up in. Thankyou for letting me speak its been a long time coming.



  • Yoda
    Yoda Member Posts: 3
    Everybody gets through it in their own way..there is no right way..it just happens
    I'm sure we all get down from time to time and I often have flashbacks from a smell or going back to my old hospital.
    Sites like this are here to help so if you feel like talking or just listening you know where to come.
  • AuthorUnknown
    AuthorUnknown Member Posts: 1,537 Member
    I'm Darryll and I live in California. I was diagnosed with synovial cell sarcoma at 15 years old and now am 35. I had a lot of emotional and relation problems when I was growing up but now married. I have worked hard to beat my cancer and my other problems and am doing well. I became a Paramedic and now am a police officer. I recently found out my cousin died of stomach cancer. I hope you beat all of your problems. good luck!!