One week and counting....

MJay

The decision has been made and I am valiantly trying to deal with all the emotions. I am going in for APR and vaginectomy on 9/14. Scared.... very scared. It is sooo difficult to just put my care (faith) completely in the hands of other people. I am scared about the recovery. I am scared I haven't asked all the correct questions or done the right research. This is forever and I don't want anyone botching up simply because they didn't do their job right. I am scared about having a colostomy forever. I am scared I am not going to be able handle it emotionally.

I hate the whole thing. I am not to the point of being able to truly thank modern medical science for being able to do this procedure to hopefully cure me from this disease. I guess I am just too scared. I have never had surgery other than removing my wisdom teeth (which in the scheme of things really doesn't count).

Thanks for letting me vent. MJ

littlejulie

Baby steps Mjay...baby steps. I understand all the worries before the surgery but i must say my mother's surgery went MUCH better than we thought. Her recovery went very and she is up and about these days. Its amazing how the body heels it selfs. All we need is baby step. I'll be thinking about you on the 14th. I'll say a prayer...or two. It worked for me : )

julie

tkd3g

Hi MJ. First off, what you are going thru is so perfectly normal. I cried my eyes out for a long time after my diagnosis and I got myself all worked up for every one of the next steps. ( chemo, radiation, surgery, recovery, more chemo)

I too, had never really had major surgery before. Actually, I take that back, I had my 3rd child by c-section. But, that is kind of different. You get a great present at the end of that surgery!!

All, I can do for you is tell you my story. My surgery was to remove most of my rectum, 1 foot of colon, ovaries and tubes. ( I don't really know the tech. names for the procedures) I asked the surgeon to tell me just what I needed to know for the surgery. I have to admit, I didn't want to know too much.

I prayed a lot. I had a lot of people praying for me. I took a course on mind body connection and how that can help heal the body faster.
( Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster by Peggy Huddleston)

I always think positive! I tried to never let it enter my mind... the what if's, the I can'ts, the negative thoughts.

I took those baby steps. Prepare yourself for surgery, then...concentrate on recovery, then...work on getting better, then...move on to the future.

Slow. Take it slow. Get all your information, make your arrangements, try to find peace in your body and your soul. Trust your physicians, the hospital staff and friends and relatives.

Worrying and anxiety are such draining emotions. They make you physically and emotionally exhausted.

" The more you can bring your anxieties to the surface and resolve them, the calmer you will feel before surgery and the better you will fare afterwards."

I strongly recommend the book I mentioned above. I feel it really helped me a lot.

My surgery was 3 hours long. I came out of it wonderfully. No nausea, no vomiting, no complications at all. That's not to say I was feeling wonderful! I had an epidural for pain management ( highly recommend, also). Was up on my feet the next day. Walking every day. My stay was 8 days ( shorter than the 10-12 days they expected me to stay). Recovery was slow, but right on course. When they say take it easy..do it. I am a real go getter and it was very hard for me to sit down and let others do for me. Thinking back, I wouldn't have done it any other way.

So, I hope I have given you some useful advice.

The most important thing I stress, is to try and find peace. In your heart and in your soul. All else will fall into place.

You are in my prayers and will be thinking of you on your surgery day.

Barb

spongebob

MJay -

You come here and vent anytime you want to. That's what we're here for. Read Andreae's posting below yours and find strength. You keep the good attitude and hang in there. We're all here for you.

Slay that dragon, MJay!

- SpongeBob

scouty

spongebob said:

MJay -

You come here and vent anytime you want to. That's what we're here for. Read Andreae's posting below yours and find strength. You keep the good attitude and hang in there. We're all here for you.

Slay that dragon, MJay!

- SpongeBob

MJay Honey,

We are all with you as you make this big step. Surgery is tough but with cancer, it is the beginning of the end (remission being the end).... It is so important for your life. Try to get yourself to understand that. Try some deep breathing or do what I have just started doing, Qigong. It is just 6 really simple eastern relaxation/breathing exercises (no sweatinng involved). I have only been doing it about 2 weeks and it is amazing how different it feels today then it did the first days.

You will be in my thoughts throught the 14th!!!!

Lisa P.

PS. Let me know when you want some of my thoughts on the colostomy bag (it does have it's good sides too)!!!!!

MJay

scouty said:

MJay Honey,

We are all with you as you make this big step. Surgery is tough but with cancer, it is the beginning of the end (remission being the end).... It is so important for your life. Try to get yourself to understand that. Try some deep breathing or do what I have just started doing, Qigong. It is just 6 really simple eastern relaxation/breathing exercises (no sweatinng involved). I have only been doing it about 2 weeks and it is amazing how different it feels today then it did the first days.

You will be in my thoughts throught the 14th!!!!

Lisa P.

PS. Let me know when you want some of my thoughts on the colostomy bag (it does have it's good sides too)!!!!!

I would appreciate all thoughts on the colostomy bag. I like focusing on the bright sides. MJ

jana11

MJ,
I started doing yoga a few weeks before my surgery, concentrating on the relaxing breaths. I got a DVD and did what I could at home. I feel like it helped a lot. I also went to a therapist who made me a meditation tape about coming to terms letting others take care of me... and drifting off to my "happy place".

I needed to do something pro-active to help reduce my stress. Think about what will work best for you and start there. After the surgery visit again and we can give you TONS of ostomy advice.

You will MAKE IT and BE FINE. Deep slow breaths!! Come to vent anytime.

jana

taraHK

Hi MJay -- I've been in touch with you on the UOA board too. Really thinking of you as you approach The Big Event. You are in my prayers and thoughts. It is perfectly normal to be nervous and apprehensive about the surgery. But I am sure you will be in excellent hands. Are there a few special, personal things you can take to hospital? I had a few 'talisman", which made me feel better....The post-surgical recovery will take a while. I found it very useful to get up and walking as soon as possible - and keep walking. At the same time, it is important to realize that the healing takes a while. The colostomy seems like a huge deal now, and it will take some adjustiing to, but I bet it will soon become something very routine. And don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions about it all.
Hang in there!! Love, Tara

kangatoo

taraHK said:

Hi MJay -- I've been in touch with you on the UOA board too. Really thinking of you as you approach The Big Event. You are in my prayers and thoughts. It is perfectly normal to be nervous and apprehensive about the surgery. But I am sure you will be in excellent hands. Are there a few special, personal things you can take to hospital? I had a few 'talisman", which made me feel better....The post-surgical recovery will take a while. I found it very useful to get up and walking as soon as possible - and keep walking. At the same time, it is important to realize that the healing takes a while. The colostomy seems like a huge deal now, and it will take some adjustiing to, but I bet it will soon become something very routine. And don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions about it all.
Hang in there!! Love, Tara

Hiya MJ--kanga n Jen are here for yu sweetie. I have put you down for a word to tha man on the 14th.
There will be a while after you come out of the anaesthetic that yu will be in "la la land". Pain management is the key to this and I would expect that over there you will have a pain management team that will monitor you and keep you comfy.
Don't be too afraid MJ--lots of stuff yu won't even remember.
Easier said than done I know, but having been there I would have to say that IF there were a next time--I would not worry as much knowing what really happens now.
Will be there thinking of yu on the 14th--be cool--all will be ok sweetie.
luv n huggs--kanga n Jen

"rainbow comin your way with a lotta love at the end of it!"

Kanort

Dear MJ,

We all will be praying for a speedy recovery for you. Let us know of your progress. You are not alone.

Hugs,

Kay

grandma047

Hi MJ- I will be praying for you as you go through surgery. I have a permanent colostomy. I've had it since the end of May. It's nowhere as bad as I thought it would be. One good thing, you don't have to worry as much about where the bathrooms are when you go somewhere. I still check it out in case an emergency happens, but I don't have to keep running to the bathroom like before I had surgery. God bless you and good luck. Keep us updated.
Love and prayers, Judy(grandma047)