What now??????

lw2320
lw2320 Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello everyone. I understand that we all are going through a very hard time in our lives and with Gods help we will all make it. While I was going through CHemo and radiation I worked 60 hours a week as a 911 dispatcher and took care of my 1 year old child and my 6 month old grandson. I managed ok. I also lost my grandmother during this time. I handled it all, but now after treatment things seem different. I am so very tired and so depressed, and my family acts like now that treatment is over that if things were handled ok during treatment that I should not feel this way now. It was like I held up till it was over and then all of the fatigue and depression set in after it was over. Has any one else had this happen?

Comments

  • DeeNY711
    DeeNY711 Member Posts: 476 Member
    #2
    It takes nearly a year before the dragging fatigue subsides. If you pay very close attention, you will be able to notice small triumphs along the way. 6 months after the conclusion of radiation therapy, I noticed that I do not have to use the handrails along the walls of the health care facility in which I work to make it from the unit all the way back down to the exit at the end of my shift.

    I'm sorry for everything you have been through. I salute your stamina and courage. I could never have even gotten from my car, through the parking lot, into the building and up to my unit during the period of time I was on chemotherapy. No way. Your determination and focus are remarkable.

    Part of that "after-feeling" has to do with the fact that while we look forward to it being over, we discover that it is not really over on the date treatment ends. The fatigue is a daily reminder, and may be in large part responsible for the depression. Both lift in time.

    Also, if you worked 60 hours each week and took care of a 1 year old and 6 month old during treatment, you doubtlessly have a tiny little slice of time more than you did during treatment for your mind to wander into negative territory. During treatment, just making it through your schedule consumed every ounce of energy. Now you have time to realize how exhausted you really are. Is there any way you might possibly be able to get even a 3 day weekend devoid of responsibility so that you can just rest?

    Your family, like mine, and like us for that matter, looked forward to the end of treatment so that the entire episode would be over. Many of us have the exact same response within our own families. I cannot expect them to understand, and am simply glad that we all have each other here on the message board.
    Love,
    Denise
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    #3
    Totally normal! We almost all buck up and "handle" things well during the battle. Once things settle down and return to "normal" then we allow ourselves the luxury of falling apart. Give yourself some time to recover from the recovery, don't push yourself, and know things will get better.
    Tell the family to get real! You've got 2 babies to take care of, work a full time plus job, and just lost a close family member...that's enough to wear anyone out, without the cancer!
    You sound like superwoman to me!
    (((HUGS))) hummingbyrd
  • elizagain
    elizagain Member Posts: 43
    #4
    I think this is pretty common. Re: your family, sounds like they are trying to get over this and in their clumsy way, want you to move past it as well. ( For example, my husband doesn't want me to be a Reach to Recovery volunteer any more, becuase he thinks this focuses me back on the cancer.) You have been through so much that most people will never understand until they've been there. Maybe now is the time to join a support group with other women who have been through the same thing.
  • HollyTraci
    HollyTraci Member Posts: 18
    #5
    You are one STRONG woman. After five years, I just recently had breast cancer to return to my bones. First chemo didn't work. Actually, things got worse. I'm now trying a new group of drugs. You are greatly admired by me for having gone through and accomplished so much during the last several months.

    I am able to do very little except go to the doctor, force myself to eat, take pills and sleep. As for working and taking care of two small children while on chem. and radiation, you must be Super-Mom.

    Give yourself some credit and take the time to feel tired. You will feel better and you deserve it.
  • trackcoach
    trackcoach Member Posts: 2
    #6
    DeeNY711 said:

    It takes nearly a year before the dragging fatigue subsides. If you pay very close attention, you will be able to notice small triumphs along the way. 6 months after the conclusion of radiation therapy, I noticed that I do not have to use the handrails along the walls of the health care facility in which I work to make it from the unit all the way back down to the exit at the end of my shift.

    I'm sorry for everything you have been through. I salute your stamina and courage. I could never have even gotten from my car, through the parking lot, into the building and up to my unit during the period of time I was on chemotherapy. No way. Your determination and focus are remarkable.

    Part of that "after-feeling" has to do with the fact that while we look forward to it being over, we discover that it is not really over on the date treatment ends. The fatigue is a daily reminder, and may be in large part responsible for the depression. Both lift in time.

    Also, if you worked 60 hours each week and took care of a 1 year old and 6 month old during treatment, you doubtlessly have a tiny little slice of time more than you did during treatment for your mind to wander into negative territory. During treatment, just making it through your schedule consumed every ounce of energy. Now you have time to realize how exhausted you really are. Is there any way you might possibly be able to get even a 3 day weekend devoid of responsibility so that you can just rest?

    Your family, like mine, and like us for that matter, looked forward to the end of treatment so that the entire episode would be over. Many of us have the exact same response within our own families. I cannot expect them to understand, and am simply glad that we all have each other here on the message board.
    Love,
    Denise

    It is nice to hear other people understand. They discovered my eye cancer last year (at the age of 27). I am now in remission but slowly becoming blind. Although I am happy to be alive, I miss the outpouring of love and care I received at that time. I know I am lucky, but feel depressed and sometimes guilty that I survived and so many others don't. I finally have gotten back to excersing (I am a coach), but need some other suggestions, besides medicine...
  • mom62
    mom62 Member Posts: 604 Member
    #7
    I sometimes feel the same way. I only worked 30 hours a week. I have three children 11, 7, & 5 which I had to take care of as well. My family and friends were very supportive. Once treatment ends though, it's discouraging. The phone calls aren't as frequent and no one really wants to hear you talk about it anymore. I remember thinking when I was diagnosed that I will never be just "Terry" again. I will always be a cancer survivor as well, a burden I hope others in my family never have to share. Take some time for yourself. Get a message, or a manicure and take care of you for an hour or so each week. It will make you feel better. God Bless.

    Terry
  • seeknpeace
    seeknpeace Member Posts: 259
    #8
    I think one of the hardest things that I have had to deal with is when one of my daughters or close family do not want me to talk about it, try to act like I am not moving on because I get scared from time to time. I think it is normal. A good friend told me to plan a vacation soon as treatment was over (at that time radiation was ordered, but, then not done), as she fell apart when she was no longer actively being "cured". Come to us, we understand, and maybe you can find a support group in your area. No one understands how this stays with us and each of us are different. God bless you honey...Jan

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