Time For a Prep Talk!!!!

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Unknown
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I really felt the need to post today because I am just down...no real reason, just down. While most of my posts have been good news, and I am so very grateful, I have been anxious and yes, so worried about Bert's CEA. 9.0 is just not a number that I can easily dismiss nor can the oncologist. He too is baffeled and concerned and doesn't really have an explanation. While all medical tests possible over and over again indicate NED, that CEA is driving me nuts. I realize it's just one
element of the whole picture, but I can't help but remember someone's story on that their CEA was rising steadily for two to three years without anything and then they finally found the tumor growing in some remote spot not picked up by any CT or PET or anything. I've got to stop thinking like this because, quite honestly, it's driving me nuts. Besides, I've often heard that if you think negative and on not pleasant things, it's almost like inviting them to come. GOD FORBID. I'll be better tomorrow but in the
meantime, thanks for listening. I needed to put my thoughts in writing and it has helped a little bit.

Hugs,
Monika

Comments

  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
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    Hi Monika...

    I don't blame you one bit for being concerned. There is nothing I can say right now to change anything, other than let you know I understand how you feel. That's why whenever I say that I'm "cancer free" I still look over my shoulder in the event another wave of something is lurking in the shadows.

    Try to not let this consume you (yeah, right, I know!), but stay on top of things until the source of the problem is located, and you and Bert both feel better about things.

    In the meantime, enjoy the summertime the best you can,

    Stacy
  • tanya99
    tanya99 Member Posts: 10
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    Hi Monika
    I am also in the same boat. My moms CEA level reduced from 4.8 to 2.9 last month and this month it increased to 6.9. Dont know what is happening inside. I am so scared and hoping that next CEA level will be normal.
    Take care. We all will get through this monster.
  • Fitlisa
    Fitlisa Member Posts: 99
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    Monika,

    I dont really put much stock in CEA's - mine both pre-surgery and post-surgery were normal!! How that is possible is beyond me but they were. I also had a normal CEA on week prior to starting chemo. I put my faith and trust in my onc and in the PET and CAT scans. I also just refuse to believe that I am not now cancer free - they removed my tumor successfully, now I am just making sure there are no residual cells. I might be naive, but I am all about the attitude.

    Keep your chin up, keep posting here = we will always help you with your blue days.

    Lisa
  • fandaj
    fandaj Member Posts: 81
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    Hi Monika, One of the good things about this website is that it is a great place to express your feelings and worries. (We all have them). So many people have been helped by your advice. Just by posting your message, you give others the opportunity to help you. Maintain your positive attitude. The same way negative thoughts breed negative happenings, positive thoughts can do the same thing. Regards and thanks, Arlene (fandaj)
  • littlejulie
    littlejulie Member Posts: 311
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    Monika,
    It must be in the air. I'm feeling really down too. I have no idea what my mothers CEA is - I wonder if I should find out.
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
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    fandaj said:

    Hi Monika, One of the good things about this website is that it is a great place to express your feelings and worries. (We all have them). So many people have been helped by your advice. Just by posting your message, you give others the opportunity to help you. Maintain your positive attitude. The same way negative thoughts breed negative happenings, positive thoughts can do the same thing. Regards and thanks, Arlene (fandaj)

    Ok--am gunna go out on a limb here!!!!!
    POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE
    The way you feel is called "being overwhelmingly concerned about your loved one" Monika.A purely natural reaction to a horrible situation that just will not go away.I know that even in rem. for the past 3 months these thoughts have never left me and probably never will.At the moment they are not a reality and we hope that in Berts case it is always going to be "may be a possibility but NED nonetheless."
    I am very sure that Jen and the kids are thinking like you Monika even tho my bloods etc have so far turned out fine.With Berts CEA like it is you have every reason to be in that frame of mind-I would think that if Berts onc. is baffled then I would also think the onc. would be doing everything possible to find out the cause.
    Unfortunately cancer makes us play mind games--no matter how hard we want the game to stop.
    Our love and thoughts are with yu Monika.
    kanga n Jen
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
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    Hi Monica,

    I'm hoping that today finds you feeling better and more assured that all is well.

    Lisa expressed my sentiments exactly. My CEA was normal prior to surgery and has stayed such. Since Bert is still on chemo, I wonder if the chemicals from that could be causing the rise?

    We understand your fear, but pray that all is well with Bert! He is blessed to have you as his partner!

    Hugs,

    Kay
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
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    hey Monika!

    What is Bert trying to do? Get a perfect 10?? Okay not funny. But Bert's onc has never experienced this before with any other patients? He offers no explanation, eh?

    Again this makes me very thankful that I never had a CEA marker to mess with me. I just go along my merry way.

    It's like in childbirth. They hook you up to all these moniters and scare the $#!& outta ya if anything rises just the slightest and whip you into surgery to yank the bambino out before you can say boo! Okay, maybe a slight exageration, but the point is sometimes more "knowledge" creates more chaos.

    Claim that cancer free attitude and stick with it. You are an amazing woman Monika and we all love you! You the bomb, girl!

    peace, emily who thinks in this case her ignorance is bliss (but not in other cases!!)

    :-)