Need Some Advice and Support

kgeorgel

My father has Pancreatic Cancer and the chemo did not help. The doctors told him that surgery won't help and may make it worse. The chemo stopped a couple weeks ago. Now he's taking medicine and saying he's always tired. Since this cancer, he's lost so much weight. He used to weigh 148lbs, and now he's barely 90lbs. We're scared to lose him, he's only 54 years of age. Now he's got a yellowish tint to his skin. So I'm not sure how much longer he's going to be with us. He's my hero, he never could do wrong in my eyes, so its very upsetting to know that he won't be around for the next 5 years.

krlinder

I don't know that I can help, but I can empathize. My father was diagnosed in December, after several previous visits to the doctor and the emergency room, during which he was told they couldn't find anything wrong. His diagnosis in December was for Stage 4B Pancreatic Cancer, no option to operate and 6-12 months to live. After looking at all the symptoms, my father has all of them, except the yellowish skin.

He did try chemo and although his cancer in the pancreas did not increase, the spot on his lung grew quite a bit so my parents have decided not to continue the chemotherapy.

But still, the doctor said 6-12 months even though we are now 5 months along. My father cannot digest well and is often in pain, or vomiting. He is taking morphine for the pain but all that does is make him sleepy.

He has also lost weight - 30 pounds in the last eight months but now it is accelerating and he is losing a couple pounds a week because of course eating hurts.

I always thought how terrible it would be for me to lose a parent. But now I realize that the terrible thing is imagining what it is like for my father to have to sit in a doctor's office, hearing a death sentence. We all know we are going to die, but to hear someone tell you is another thing altogether.

My heart is with you and I feel your pain. For now, I focus on spending time with my father and making sure he knows how much I love him.

Dennisdd

hi to both of you under this thread, i was wondering if either of you at this point have considered clinical trials since nothing else seems to be working. also on the mets to the liver there is a procedure they are havin some luck with, its called R.F. ablatation. god keep us all, Dennis

TopsailBeach

I can relate except that the 54 year old man is my husband and not my father. My husband is 15 years older than me and my absolute hero. He was diagnosed with stage 4 metastisized pancreatic cancer. He has received 8 treatments of Gemzar and is getting ready to have a CT scan next week. He has lost a lot of weight and doesn't eat real well. He is on about 130 mg. of Oxycotin and Oxycodone each day. So.... I can relate. The really sad part? We have a 12 year old.

David_ch

Hi,

I understand what you feel, my father has pancreas cancer with mets, he was very yellow due a compressed bile duct, surgery got rid of that but he is now losing a pound of weight a day ...
I dont believe in the chances of Chemo helping and personnally do not push him into getting any new promising medication.

At this stage, I concentrate on ACCEPTATION. I cherish the good moments that we had together, everything that he has given our family and ensure my mother and family of all my moral and physical support.

There comes a time when it's relieving to stop fighting away the blatant truth and when acceptation is a delivery. We all need to find our own path to it ..

with all of my blessings

David

ltbars

TopsailBeach said:

I can relate except that the 54 year old man is my husband and not my father. My husband is 15 years older than me and my absolute hero. He was diagnosed with stage 4 metastisized pancreatic cancer. He has received 8 treatments of Gemzar and is getting ready to have a CT scan next week. He has lost a lot of weight and doesn't eat real well. He is on about 130 mg. of Oxycotin and Oxycodone each day. So.... I can relate. The really sad part? We have a 12 year old.

My mother was diagnosed on March 4, 2004 and passed away last week on Jult 21, 2004. The pancreatic cancer made her jaundiced and that is what alerted us to get a CT scan. The diagnosis came back and we did the plastic stent. She was not able to eat and would throw up her food. We finally had to do the metal stent and we got Hospice in and me and my sister cared for her 24/7. She was able to eat soup and keep it down, slept all the time. The last two weeks it turned on us and we had the morphine pump for the pain and the asites fluid building in her abdomen and body. She passed in her sleep due to the morphine putting her in a deep sleep / coma. She fought it bravely and never gave up til the last three days. She was an inspiration to us and the spiritual presence was felt at all times. Spend quality and spiritual time and pray. We tried three treatments of the radiation and chemo until an honest Doctor told us to take her home and supply comfort. This cancer is a monster and is fast acting. Mother's size of the tumour was 4x2 when found on the CT scan. The cancer spread to the liver and the interior lining and other parts of the body. Fight this monster and research all aspects and be there for him. I strongly recommend Hospice if the cancer progresses and you are able to care for him at home. I will put you in prayer. My heart is with you.

punkymay

So sorry to all of you out there. My parents died instantly, no pain, no suffering. It was then very difficult to watch my MIL have to deal with the long ordeal her terminal stomach cancer.

I was able to remind her of all of the fun we had together and to let her know what a good person she had been to her family. A priest was called in for last rights which meant a lot ot her. Hospice is priceless and gave her all of the physical relief she needed. We all did what we could, but no one could have saved her life.

Acceptance brings relief to all of us.

Unknown

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