Panicked about going back to work

Maureen3

I just received a letter from my disability insurer. They have assigned a nurse consultant to my case to 'help' me get back to work right away. I am totally panicked! I just finished treatments three weeks ago and my Doc and I agreed I would go back July 1st. I run a business program at a university. We've had over 60% of our budget cut in the past three years, I've laid off two people in the past 12 months and I am absolutely petrified about going back. I was so stressed before I got sick! I am afraid they will force me to return to work right away and I just can't-not yet-perhaps not at all. I need some time to figure out how to balance work and life. I often think that it was the job that caused my cancer. I keep falling apart just thinking about going back into that environment. I don't want to loose my disability as I earn the lions share of our household income and frankly I couldn't make it through an entire day right now even if they made me. If I leave my job on my own I lose a life insurance policy that would pay my family two and one half times my salary upon my death. Please help. I am a wreck.

jhope

Maureen, found this site on "cancer in the workplace" message board:

www.cancercare.org/managing/workplace/person/rights.asp.

Good luck (have you thought about FOCUS on living, and possibly checking around for a different job if it stresses you to the point you think it might have caused your cancer. Sometimes despite your life insurance, you need to think of yourself. If the shoe where on the other foot would you want your hubby or some other family member you love to be in such a workplace? You really sound like a super compassionate person and I don't think you would. Be nice to yourself, God bless you, Julia

inkblot

Hi Maureen:

You certainly don't need the additional stress right now of feeling that you'll be "forced" back to work before you're able and ready.

They may assign all the nurses they wish but if your doctor says you're disabled then are they presuming that it's nothing that a company nurse can't cure? Sorry but this kind of treatment of people, really upsets me.

Your emotional state is of great importance and is EXPECTED to be in turmoil after your diagnosis and treatment. I'd be most curious as to what this nurse expects to achieve that your doctor and yourself can't, particularly concerning your emotional state? Are they challenging or disregarding your doctor's diagnosis for disability?

Don't let them push you around. Let them know that you neither need nor want a nurse. Ask them frankly what they think a nurse can do that your dr. can't? Perhaps you should be under the care of a professional counselor of sorts as well? A Licensed Clinical Social Worker or Psychologist?

Is this nurse also a qualified physical therapist and perhaps intends to address some sort of physical problem? If not, then how is it that she's supposed to help you get back to work "right away"? And what's with the "right away" mandate? How can they impose such a thing, unilaterally? I personally wouldn't be comfortable with a nurse from the disability company meddling in my affairs, second guessing my doctor and/or reporting to the disability company. This clearly makes it a case of her word and "opinion" against your doctor's and your own, which is very subjective. Who would be supervising this nurse anyway, in whatever it is that she is supposed to do? Don't let them frighten you with these tactics or force you into a capitulation that is not in your best interest.

Did you inform your doctor about this new development? Perhaps consult with him for an opinion on handling this issue as he should be well informed of the legalities in your home state and can advise you accordingly. If push comes to shove, contact an attorney.

As far as your job, sometimes, there's nothing to do but either fish or cut bait. After bc, a lot of women find themselves, for the first time, making major life changes which were perhaps long overdue...making better plans for themselves...finding new careers and avocations, new interests, new partners, moving cross country to a place maybe they'd always dreamed of living...the list is long but life is short and I think we all see this sooo clearly after where we've been and we better recognize the importance of getting on with it. One thing is for certain...you must take charge of this situation and with your doctor's support, resist their attempts to harass you back to work immediately. Just decide what's most important to you...the insurance policy or your sanity. Not the best of times for you to have to make this particular decision and my heart goes out to you but in the end only you can decide what's best for you and work it out. In the meantime, ideally, your disability should continue and you may return there when you're ready or find a new job when you're ready.

Good luck and please keep us posted on how this pans out.

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

mssue

Hi Maureen.
I'm sorry but I haven't had a very good day myself. Could you be having a guilt complex due to what you had to do for your job? What do you think they would have done in your shoes? Think about it!!
Sometimes we put added pressure upon ourselves with out a thought--just the way they like it sometimes. What do you do ? NOT stress about it, for everything happens for a reason.We just have to get ready for it one way or another.
I know I'm just blubbering along I won't say anything else at this time.You just be strong and keep your head up because if you do what you know is right then stand your groundand you will have no regrets. Do you enjoy your job????? Then what is your calling. I know I may be attacked for my veiws today but so be it........................
Had enough
w/love sue

Maureen3

mssue said:

Hi Maureen.
I'm sorry but I haven't had a very good day myself. Could you be having a guilt complex due to what you had to do for your job? What do you think they would have done in your shoes? Think about it!!
Sometimes we put added pressure upon ourselves with out a thought--just the way they like it sometimes. What do you do ? NOT stress about it, for everything happens for a reason.We just have to get ready for it one way or another.
I know I'm just blubbering along I won't say anything else at this time.You just be strong and keep your head up because if you do what you know is right then stand your groundand you will have no regrets. Do you enjoy your job????? Then what is your calling. I know I may be attacked for my veiws today but so be it........................
Had enough
w/love sue

Sue- I struggle with a lot of emotions about my darn job. I've worked so hard to get this great position and I feel like I would be letting everyone down if I don't keep it. I promised myself not to stress over going back until I had to (thinking that would be sometime in late June and I might get a reprieve from God or something and not have to go) but I realize those thoughts are exactly what you are referring to. Sometimes it is the hardest to see your own issues because they are too close. You have all three given me much to think about before tomorrow and I truly am grateful. Thanks for taking the time to write.

roxanne53

Hello Maureen,
Something very similar happened to me in early March. I also panicked about going back to full time work and in tears.
I am on Disability and they were also trying to get me back to work fulltime because I had finished treatment and been put on Arimidex. Well---that threw me over the edge!! They also assigned a nurse consultant to my case.

I gave them the names and phone numbers of my doctors so that they could get information and verify what I had been telling them about my condition(s). Actually, the nurse consultant that I had helped determine that I had not been ready to go back full time to work. I kept them more up to date by email. This also helped.

In my case, I had been seeing an Occupational Therapist for my arm pain which seem to be coming from the nerves running down both arms. The pain would keep me up at night almost in tears. I then had to see Physical Therapy due additional arm pain that had been due to thorasic problems, reduced blood flow, and possible lymphedama due to some swelling. Then to top this off, I had been taken off antianxiety medications and placed on Effexor for the severe hot flashes from the forced menopause. Effexor was to cover the anxiety issue. Well, my seretonin levels dropped so low that I could hardly function. Now medications have been readjusted and straightened out so that I can feel better. Paxil helps the seretonin levels and now on that as well.

Just had reconstruction surgery so still on disability and will soon be returning to full time. I am beginning to feel ready for that step back to the work world.

To conclude this long rambling note: I alerted all my doctors that there may be a call from the disability insurance person.
I gave the RN consultant observable information including medications, therapies, sleepless nights information, etc. I also started to keep a log of symptoms so that I could easily tell them what had been happening on a regular basis.
What had been very helpful was to keep the disability person up to date by email with progress and what was happening. Dates of next clinic visits and follow up appointments---things like that.

I hope that my expereience may be of help to you.
Take care.
Roxanne

kcbh

Hi Maureen, Ive been debating about responding, thus the delay. Prior to my dx, I was disabled from doing a very physical job with the Federal Government. I was trying to get another job within my limitations in the same agency. Despite accepting that my injury was work related, they did everything possible to get me to quit. Prior to my injury, I was always rated excellent, also had my immediate boss's full support & help. Ironically my new position was w/ workmens comp. Found out this is the policy for everyone. The Labor Dept was worse. They didn't pay me for over a year. Took my documentation to my congressman & was paid almost all back pay within 1 week. The reason I'm sending this song of woe is, this can be a policy with your insurer. If you allow them to push you back to work before medically ready they win. To tell you to hang tough is good advice but I was never really able to. Just be aware there may me mind games going on. Be sure to document everything.