What to expect

dobeecamp

My mother was dx with Lung Cancer last week. It is SCLC extensive. It is in the liver, back bone,leg, and hip.She is now complaining of pain in the chest and rib. It has also mestasacized to the skull bone.The doctors said she is getting chemo just to relieve her, not to cure her. With treatment, they gave her around 9 months. I am her primary caregiver and we are roommates. My siblings are holding room for hope and are putting it in God's hands. I am however a "need to know" kind of person. Can anyone provide me with a possible account of what I can expect. Some dear friends who love me enough to be honest with me, feel as though it may actually be less than that. My mother is my mother, my child, my best friend, my husband. She is my world. But, I feel as though I can be better for her if I am not surprised.

Thanks.

fuji

dobee, My Dad just died in Feb 2004 from Prostate cancer that had spread throughout his body: internal organs, bones etc. At least you know what her prognosis is. He did not tell us how bad his situation was. He did chemo for the same reasons your Mom's Oncologist had explained. He also did radiation for relief as well. He looked like hell after the chemo, was very weak and slowly stopped eating. Please do yourself a favor and contact hospice and read as much information as they will give you, if and when the time is appropriate. It is the most wonderful gift that you can give your Mom, to care for her until the end of her life. You can not put a price tag on that gift. However, it is also mentally, physically,emotionally and spiritually exhausting. I have never been so drained in my entire life and I have 2 small energetic children...so that should put it into perspective. You will need the help and support of anyone and everyone who will give it. Do not be proud...accept help and solicit it if you need something specific. I found that people around you, who have not been through this unique situation...are at a loss to intuit what you need to help your Mom. Hospice is an awesome, couragous
group of people whom are angels on earth to help us through this difficult time. I hope that this has helped. I will pray for you and your Mom. Remember to take time to renew so that you can give her your best, until her last.

acuozzo

I am sorry for what you and your mother are going through. My best suggestion is to get in touvh with your local hospice. When my mother-in-law was diagnosed as terminal, there were a God send to us. There were times when I had to cry and didn't want her to know I was upset so I took a shower and cried there. There were never any red eyes to let anyone know I was crying and I felt better. Hospice willbe able to help both you and your mother. Please call them. Love Anne Cuozzo

dobeecamp

fuji said:

dobee, My Dad just died in Feb 2004 from Prostate cancer that had spread throughout his body: internal organs, bones etc. At least you know what her prognosis is. He did not tell us how bad his situation was. He did chemo for the same reasons your Mom's Oncologist had explained. He also did radiation for relief as well. He looked like hell after the chemo, was very weak and slowly stopped eating. Please do yourself a favor and contact hospice and read as much information as they will give you, if and when the time is appropriate. It is the most wonderful gift that you can give your Mom, to care for her until the end of her life. You can not put a price tag on that gift. However, it is also mentally, physically,emotionally and spiritually exhausting. I have never been so drained in my entire life and I have 2 small energetic children...so that should put it into perspective. You will need the help and support of anyone and everyone who will give it. Do not be proud...accept help and solicit it if you need something specific. I found that people around you, who have not been through this unique situation...are at a loss to intuit what you need to help your Mom. Hospice is an awesome, couragous
group of people whom are angels on earth to help us through this difficult time. I hope that this has helped. I will pray for you and your Mom. Remember to take time to renew so that you can give her your best, until her last.

Thank you, fuji.This rollercoaster I am on has not stopped. I am however on a differnt train of thought. I no longer feel as though my mother is going to die. Aside from pain there is nothing that indicates in her physical being that she is suffering from this and terminal.I just think they are wrong.My mom goes for her second round of chemo on Monday.

dobeecamp

acuozzo said:

I am sorry for what you and your mother are going through. My best suggestion is to get in touvh with your local hospice. When my mother-in-law was diagnosed as terminal, there were a God send to us. There were times when I had to cry and didn't want her to know I was upset so I took a shower and cried there. There were never any red eyes to let anyone know I was crying and I felt better. Hospice willbe able to help both you and your mother. Please call them. Love Anne Cuozzo

Anne, thank you for responding. This rollercoaster I am on has not stopped. I am however on a differnt train of thought. I no longer feel as though my mother is going to die. Aside from pain there is nothing that indicates in her physical being that she is suffering from this and terminal.I just think they are wrong.My mom goes for her second round of chemo on Monday.