Apology to grandma

2bhealed

Dearest grandma,

It has been brought to my attention that my tone of my post may have been rather "blame the victim". I truly am sorry if this was how it was received by you. I am writing this without having read any other replies as I am horrified that I may have caused you emotional pain by my carelessness.

My deepest apologies.

My true intent was to "pick you brain" so to speak on your recurrence. That is my complete fear as a cancer survivor....a recurrence. So when you, A Stage 2 survivor is in the throes of one I am floored along with all the others. My curiosity was construed as abrassive (my words not the dear semi-colon who pointed this out to me privately) and so I ask you forgiveness for this tactless approach.

Because I did not chemo and you did no chemo and I looking to you for answers (just like all of us who come here asking eachother what chemo protocol did you use what were your reactions etc.) but I rarely ever have anyone to bounce off my questions b/c I am usually the only one who has not done chemo.

So really my questions were sincere and not "blaming".

I hope you (and anyone else I may have offended) understand this.

Whew. I would hate to fall into disfavor with my compatriots here.....

peace, emily who hopes she is not in the doghouse

grandma047

Emily, I did not take it that way at all. I too, am looking for information. I wrote you an email with that thread. My doctors and I were very surprised that it came back, because chemo and radiation are not offered at that stage and it usually doesnt come back at that stage. I had good margins and all. And...they're saying it has came back very aggressive. It kinda makes me wonder if it was staged right to begin with and if it is a recurrence or simply cancer that never went away. I mean, doctors aren't perfect and I don't blame them. i am in now way bitter about this. I'm a little bitter that my body isn't fighting disease like I hoped it would. My surgeon said at the time that he told me it was back that some people don't get anything and some get everything. if you knew my medical history, you would understand. Now, all I can do is fight. It really doesn't matter now what was done after surgery the first time because I have no choice now but to fight with the most chemo and radiation they will give me. Then go through surgery again and a permanent colostomy because my cancer is so low in the rectum and then more chemo. I don't know how much yet because they said they will know more when I have surgery. Feel free to ask me any questions. I will try to help. If my help will keep even one person from getting this monster, then I want to do my part. Don't feel at all that you need to apologize. Like I said, I didn't take it that way at all, if I caused a problem, I am sorry. I don't want to be a problem to this group. I am just looking for help and wanting to offer some along the way. And, Emily, you are definitely not in the doghouse, at least not with me.
Love and prayers, Judy

2bhealed

grandma047 said:

Emily, I did not take it that way at all. I too, am looking for information. I wrote you an email with that thread. My doctors and I were very surprised that it came back, because chemo and radiation are not offered at that stage and it usually doesnt come back at that stage. I had good margins and all. And...they're saying it has came back very aggressive. It kinda makes me wonder if it was staged right to begin with and if it is a recurrence or simply cancer that never went away. I mean, doctors aren't perfect and I don't blame them. i am in now way bitter about this. I'm a little bitter that my body isn't fighting disease like I hoped it would. My surgeon said at the time that he told me it was back that some people don't get anything and some get everything. if you knew my medical history, you would understand. Now, all I can do is fight. It really doesn't matter now what was done after surgery the first time because I have no choice now but to fight with the most chemo and radiation they will give me. Then go through surgery again and a permanent colostomy because my cancer is so low in the rectum and then more chemo. I don't know how much yet because they said they will know more when I have surgery. Feel free to ask me any questions. I will try to help. If my help will keep even one person from getting this monster, then I want to do my part. Don't feel at all that you need to apologize. Like I said, I didn't take it that way at all, if I caused a problem, I am sorry. I don't want to be a problem to this group. I am just looking for help and wanting to offer some along the way. And, Emily, you are definitely not in the doghouse, at least not with me.
Love and prayers, Judy

Thank you!! :-)

peace, emily

Unknown

2bhealed said:

Thank you!! :-)

peace, emily

Bow Wow Emily...just kidding dear, dear friend. You are a wonderful human being who truly cares about the folks on this board and passionate in your believes to help everyone.

(((((HUGS))))))

Monika, whose been in the dog house many times herself and will make room for you there anytime )