Tactics for Well Wishers...

inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi Rizzo15:

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer to your question/dilemma.

It seems that most of the women I know just handle this, according to their particular style and needs.

Maybe just let everyone know that you'll "keep in touch" and they'll get the subtle message that you prefer to ring others when you feel up to talking. If they don't get the point, then perhaps let them know that your sleep/wake cycles are skewed and that your need for rest times can be any time at all and that you really don't like the idea of unplugging your phone in order to rest/read and/or research, etc.. That's about all I can think of, short of actually unplugging your phone! LOL

Most of my relatives live far away too. I was fortunate that one aunt, to whom I'm very close, sort of took charge and promptly told everyone else that she'd keep them informed of what was going on. This really helped and reduced my having to answer the same questions
50 times a week.

Too many friends calling was a problem for us, initially. To solve that, I just put a message on voice mail saying that all is well and that we'd be in touch. (my voice mail stores messages for 30 days and with the reminder, I could ring them back at will or not at all. No apologies, no discussion. Isn't that what such technology is for anyway?)

Whatever you do, it must be comfortable and accommodate YOUR needs. Good luck and hope you find your comfort zone with this soon.

Love, light and laughter,


  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    Got to agree with Ink...caller ID and voice mail is the way to go!
    Ahhh, the age of modern technology.
    By the way Ink, where's my email?
    Never got anything.
  • jake10
    jake10 Member Posts: 202
    Hi Rizzo15, After my surgery my sister came and stayed the better part of a month. So when anyone called they first spoke with her. She would tell them the latest news and inform them if I was sleeping or resting or out of sorts. When I did speak with folks at least I didn't have to tell the whole story each time. After the initial post op period I found people thought I was fine. Thier lack of understanding of the treatments and procedures left them in the dark that I would still be ill for some time to come. I grew patience with them and loved them for caring enought to think of me and act out of kindness to let me know they cared. Beth
  • live42day
    live42day Member Posts: 64
    Here is another suggestion. Most of my friends and family have email. So I would send health update emails after a treatment, test, etc. This kept everyone informed and I could send out the emails when I was in the mood to communicate.