friend decided on No treatment

danette

mc2001 said:

Hello again Danette!
Its me your *honest* friend! LOL
Once again, I am throwing Political Correctness out the window! First, I dont believe your friends family has dumped everything on you. I believe you have LET them. What I mean, is that you probably think your friend will take it wrong if you stand your ground and say, "Hey, I am not willing to do this all by myself! I have a family that needs me, and I am willing to help, but I will NOT take on the whole burden!" You may have wanted to avoid confrontation or "making someone mad at you" or whatever. Bottom line: You will irritate and may even anger others for standing your ground and MAKING THEM share the burden. Fine. Fact of life. But you have to take care of yourself and your family. And you cant change your whole life around and worry about "How in the world am I supposed to do this or that for my good friend" It isnt your responsibility to perform a juggling act with your family's life. You are a great friend and have a good heart. But being a friend or a spiritual person does NOT mean being a DOORMAT for others.
God bless danette. You are a gem among friends and a treasure TO your friends. But you have to live your life as well. Take care! :-)
-Michael

Michael, My mom said the same thing so you must be right(lol.) I think I let it get this far because my heart just breaks for her, she is the most loving and unselfish person, she has tried for years to get her moms attention but even with death looming nothing has changed so I tried to make up for it, but I can't I set us both up for failure and now I have to get it back under control, life is hard and even when a family member is in need some families just don't change and they just can't seem to step up but that doesn't mean I can make a difference it is her family she wants. We worked out a schedule which is great for all envolved. The Hospice Doc told us things are progressing quickly so no time to worry about her family anyway. I will keep you all posted and all of you will be in my prayers. To say you all are wonderful just doesn't seem to cut it but you have made a difference.
Sincerely Danette

bunnie

Hi sorry to hear about your friends choice.All you can do as a friend though is be there and support her desicion.You are a good friend too be standing by her and helping her through this rough time.We wish you both all of the luck in the world and our hearts go out too you.bunnie.Oh by the way Hospice is real good or at least in Oregon they are we used them when my dad was dieing in 90.I was very lucky too have caught my cancer in the early stages.

KimInBeirut