Problems with Emotions and Sex

boobless66 Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had my mas. in jan'03 and still after chemo and finally my hair is comming back,,I have very littlesex drive plus i have a large scar across my chest that is extreamly swollen from my breast removal site all along my side and back. My emotions are like a roller coaster and like i said i feel no desire for sex!! Whats the problem???


  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    My guess is you're to tired, to distracted, and to afraid. Tired from surgery and chemo, distracted by pain in arm and thought of 'will this return', and afraid of being rejected because of physical appearance. This is a tough diagnosis, it takes the body and the mind a long time to adjust, or it did for me. Hopefully you shall see yourself for your inner beauty, because the body's always the first to go! Try not to pressure yourself about sex because that tends to only make things worse. Are you married? How old are you? What meds do you take? Nosey aren't I? Seriously, the meds they put us on can really wreak havoc on the desire!
    As far as your arm should have physical therapy. Do you have full range of motion? Overhead in front and out to side?
    Some of the rules lifting over 5-10#, no pushing, pulling, scrubbing, sweeping (any repitious movement). Don't have IV's, blood draws or blood pressure taken in arm that lymph nodes were removed from, avoid bug bites in that arm. HA! Try that in TX! Also, avoid extreme changes in temperature to that arm, like hot tubs. And if you fly wear a compression sleeve. That's about all I can remember. Really bug your doc about PT because lymphadema gets worse between 2-5 years after surgery. I am a firm believer its never too late to start taking care of yourself, so don't think that, OK? Hope this helps. God bless you. hummingbyrd
  • bunnie
    bunnie Member Posts: 233
    Hi i dont want to scar you or anything but it sounds like you might be developing Lympadima i would go talk to a physical thearapist that specilizes in this stuff.As for the sex drive it will come back turst me it took me awhile too get back into it i was aftraid of not being attractive anymore but thanks too my wonderful husband we worked through the poblem.good luck.Amy
  • cammie
    cammie Member Posts: 102
    Sex Drive - whats that??? No, honsetly, it is my husband who has been afraid. Here I thought I was unattrative. (Which we got to admit, no hair and one boob isn't that pretty) But it was my husband being patient with me. Waiting until I was ready. My surgery was in Dec, and I still don't feel the sex drive that I use too. I have faith as time goes on, time will heal that as well. Find a really pretty nightie, and wear it. You'll start to feel better about yourself. I know I have, and I never thought I would. God Bless you sweetie!!!! Cammie
  • sandytrif525
    sandytrif525 Member Posts: 106
    Hey, I had surgery in Feb of 02, I was feeling pretty much the way you describe. I felt the sex drive was gone. Low and behold it came back, then I got switched from Tamixofin to Arimidex and wham, no sex drive again. My hubby is very patient and it has gotten better. SAndy
  • kamehameha6470
    kamehameha6470 Member Posts: 33
    The only problem is your body just saw the bad end of a horrific battle. The emotions I would say are natural. Who feels sexy right after losing a breast or after being bald or after so many bouts of nausea? Luckily, I had a husband who would think I was sexy if I had bolts coming out of my neck. When I relaxed and started seeing myself through his eyes, then I started feeling attractive again--bald head, no breast, and puffiness and all.
  • hounddog
    hounddog Member Posts: 115
    I had a mastectomy 13yrs ago and a new cancer showed up in February and I had a left radical mastectomy. I went through total of 4 treatments and I did loose my hair this time .Sex is hard for me still it takes time for me to have sex . Be patient it will come natural to you when you are ready for it. It is normal that your emotions are on a roller coaster mine are to .All we can do is Take One day at a time and put our Trust in the Lord he is the one that takes care of us. Right now we are going through what is called a Storm it is alright to be scared but keep our faith in God.John 6:14-21. It does me good to talk to a counselor to .You are in my prayers.
  • Devoted
    Devoted Member Posts: 4
    I am the husband of a survivor and the sex drive does diminsish somewhat. It is a natural psychological reaction to losing your breasts, but the sex drive does return. My wife had a mastectomy of her right breast, then a preventative removal of her left. Once we were able to sit down and talk about it, the emotional rollercoaster ride settled and her sex drive returned.