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dhall8
dhall8 Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
I had stage 111B lung cancer and recently completed radiation therapy with weekly chemo Taxol/carboplatin doses followed by two three week doses of chemo separated by three weeks. I am having a hard time with the roller coaster aspect of all of this. I appear to be free of cancer but can not be completely sure. I have a severe case of nerve damage from the Taxol, which I am not sure will ever get completely better or not. I don't mean to seem ungrateful, I am happy to be alive!
It seemed to be easier to prepare to be dead than to prepare to live. Has anyone else felt that way? The only thing I can think of to do for now is to try and enjoy life to the fullest now as that is the only thing I have any control over. I have planned several trips this summer. I am back to work now and feel great about having a purpose again. My doctor is wonderful and always upbeat but at best my survival odds are 20-30%. It is hard for me to really believe I will live. Any feedback?

Comments

  • bobmc
    bobmc Member Posts: 47
    #2
    Hey dhall8; welcome and my very best to you, first, screw the odds, and second, screw the odds, We have today and that'l just have to do! I think your rollercoaster ride is accurate,it is nuts at times especially right before tests and scans. For me it gets better with time but it's still there. I was dx.'ed in April of 2001, took my left lung on 5/2/01, I was lucky, no chemo or rad. but life has changed and still have the fear of recurrance. I agree with your attitude, I think your right on. Take the trips and enjoy life as you never have before. You just never will know! Keep on keeping on! I can be reached here or at lungcancersurvivors.org if ya wana talk.
    God bless and stay well
    Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01
    " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!"
  • pacisan
    pacisan Member Posts: 18
    #3
    bobmc said:

    Hey dhall8; welcome and my very best to you, first, screw the odds, and second, screw the odds, We have today and that'l just have to do! I think your rollercoaster ride is accurate,it is nuts at times especially right before tests and scans. For me it gets better with time but it's still there. I was dx.'ed in April of 2001, took my left lung on 5/2/01, I was lucky, no chemo or rad. but life has changed and still have the fear of recurrance. I agree with your attitude, I think your right on. Take the trips and enjoy life as you never have before. You just never will know! Keep on keeping on! I can be reached here or at lungcancersurvivors.org if ya wana talk.
    God bless and stay well
    Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01
    " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!"

    Sorry dhall8...there are no magic bullets..once you are dx with cancer life changes. So, you have two choices...live with cancer or die with cancer. Some days will be better than others. Try to fill your time with as many positive experiences as you can...when something is a downer, deal with it then pull away from it as fast as you can. I too had a pneumonectomy. Its' been 2 years, and though I am cancer free, I also have those doubts..and they will always be there I'm sure. Like I said..live or die with it. For now I love my kids, my granddaugher, and the rest of my family and friends. I try not to bring them down with my cancer "chat", stay active in my cancer support group, and place my life in God's hands...with that, I wish you all the best.
  • betty2
    betty2 Member Posts: 91
    #4
    I too am a 2 time lung cancer suvivor, adenocarcinoma in the left lung ( took half) and Large cell in my right lung ( took 1/4th ) 3 1/2 yrs a part and that has been since 1987 and 1991. Your attitude is wonderful, thats what we have to do is live in the moment. I to get scared still when I go to the Dr. and you can see how many years its been for me. I agree with everyone else you can either live or die with cancer and sometimes you have to pick one. Sometimes you don't have a choice as my son didn't with brain cancer lived 11 weeks from dx to death.
    betty2 jodnns@aol.com
  • jkeen
    jkeen Member Posts: 33
    #5
    Hi, I have NSCLC stage 3b and I am 35 years old, yeas it is a rollercoaster but in life without cancer you have to take the ups and the downs. If you choose to live then live it to the fullest. I have a 7 year old and a 13 year old and we took them to Disney, North Carolina , and have alot more camping todo this year. I was Dx April 10 2002 and did not get todo much last year, so this year I decided I was not going to stop their summer from being fun, I was in remission for 5 month and now back in treatment, I have my doc work around me and my life plans. I say srew the odds we are all different and what happens to one may not happen to another. Remember if you did not have cancer you were never guarenteed another day and had no idea if yuo would wake up the next day, because you never thought about it, with cancer you think about it more and that put s doubt in you r head. Keep your faith and keep God in your heart and live each day as your last. Nobody knows when but God.. Take care and God Bless you.
    Jackie
  • blt
    blt Member Posts: 5
    #6
    bobmc said:

    Hey dhall8; welcome and my very best to you, first, screw the odds, and second, screw the odds, We have today and that'l just have to do! I think your rollercoaster ride is accurate,it is nuts at times especially right before tests and scans. For me it gets better with time but it's still there. I was dx.'ed in April of 2001, took my left lung on 5/2/01, I was lucky, no chemo or rad. but life has changed and still have the fear of recurrance. I agree with your attitude, I think your right on. Take the trips and enjoy life as you never have before. You just never will know! Keep on keeping on! I can be reached here or at lungcancersurvivors.org if ya wana talk.
    God bless and stay well
    Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01
    " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!"

    Bob, I don't know how to get a message to you. I too had pneumonectomy of left lung Feb 2002 and they think they got it all; however June 2003 what appears to be second primary lesion was found in Right lung, inoperable due to pulmonary limitations. Have had 6 of 30 scheduled dadiation treatments.I continus to live life to the fullest or as much as fatigue lets me. BLT
  • bobmc
    bobmc Member Posts: 47
    #7
    blt said:

    Bob, I don't know how to get a message to you. I too had pneumonectomy of left lung Feb 2002 and they think they got it all; however June 2003 what appears to be second primary lesion was found in Right lung, inoperable due to pulmonary limitations. Have had 6 of 30 scheduled dadiation treatments.I continus to live life to the fullest or as much as fatigue lets me. BLT

    Dear blt;
    So very sorry to hear of your recurrance, Sometimes this disease just plain sucks ( sorry). Just can't help gettin angry sometimes. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Guess we just keep puttin one foot in front of the other and try to leave the results up to God. I'm rmccu37700@aol or better yet stop and see us @ lungcancersurvivors.org ( the boards have 535 LC survivors).
    God bless and stay well
    Bobmc - NSCLC- stage IIB left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01 " absolutely insist on enjoying life today"
  • Seeker
    Seeker Member Posts: 8
    #8
    20% or 30% odds of staying alive? That's better than most lotteries - yet I am willing to bet (hehehe) that you'd buy that ticket if, say, the jackpot was at $50 million or more although the odds of winning were 1 in 80 million. So go out there and enjoy your life. Cancer can take your life but it cannot kill your spirit. Ups and downs are normal. Pain is normal. Nerve damage is normal. Feeling blue is normal. You are engaged in the battle of your life. The combat zone is your body. Is it any wonder you feel the way you do? Of course, not. You are responding to an abnormal situation, the only way you know how. There is no right way or wrong way to do this. Just stay alive until the next cure. if that means enduring pain, nerve damage, baldness or anything else - do so. You are a cancer survivor and that means that you have been given a second chance - so make it count.
  • 9053
    9053 Member Posts: 2
    #9
    bobmc said:

    Hey dhall8; welcome and my very best to you, first, screw the odds, and second, screw the odds, We have today and that'l just have to do! I think your rollercoaster ride is accurate,it is nuts at times especially right before tests and scans. For me it gets better with time but it's still there. I was dx.'ed in April of 2001, took my left lung on 5/2/01, I was lucky, no chemo or rad. but life has changed and still have the fear of recurrance. I agree with your attitude, I think your right on. Take the trips and enjoy life as you never have before. You just never will know! Keep on keeping on! I can be reached here or at lungcancersurvivors.org if ya wana talk.
    God bless and stay well
    Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01
    " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!"

    Hi.I have stage 111B lung cancer,also have a tumor on my lymph node in my chest, and also breast cancer.I have been thru 3 months of radiation every day also chemo once a week for 6 months. I had surgery on my breast cancer is gone.I'am going on almost 2 years, and you know what I still don't know what certain things are.I just keep fighting, and live one day at a time.I get very mad sometimes. because I have always had a lot of energy and now I don't.It makes me mad,I guess thats why I keep fighting.People that see me says they wouldn't know anything is wrong with me.I hate going to the doctor I have been going every 3 months now for a long time. Then the rollercoaster starts again.Sometimes I would rather not know. Anyway I'am glad I found this now I have someone I can talk to that understands.
  • Alloyd
    Alloyd Member Posts: 9
    #10
    I have 111A large cell lung cancer. In July of 02 started 5 weeks of Taxol/carboplatin & 5weeks of daily radiation. In Oct. of 02 had my left lumg removed.I agree I am not sure I am in remission. The radiation dammaged my spine(radiation myelitis), me hands feel like claws quite often I believe this is from the chemo.I have cronic back pain & a lot of fatigue. Before cancer I was running 5 miles every other day & bicycling often. This has been very life changing to say the least. I am not negative but I feel if I don't face this realisticly I could set myself up for a shock that im not sure I could handle. This is the 1st time I have ever replied to a online message. thanks
  • Alloyd
    Alloyd Member Posts: 9
    #11
    I have 111A large cell lung cancer. In July of 02 started 5 weeks of Taxol/carboplatin & 5weeks of daily radiation. In Oct. of 02 had my left lumg removed.I agree I am not sure I am in remission. The radiation dammaged my spine(radiation myelitis), me hands feel like claws quite often I believe this is from the chemo.I have cronic back pain & a lot of fatigue. Before cancer I was running 5 miles every other day & bicycling often. This has been very life changing to say the least. I am not negative but I feel if I don't face this realisticly I could set myself up for a shock that im not sure I could handle. This is the 1st time I have ever replied to a online message. thanks

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