Need suggestions concerning child

schue Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
My 5-year-old's father has cancer. Started about a year ago as testicular, went to abdomen, lungs, brain. Until the last few days, we thought there was hope. He has gone back to MD Andersen & we're told he will probably not come home again. My son has been around his father in between treatments (we are not married), knows he is sick & has had surgeries, but hasn't really been told about cancer and does not know how serious his illness is. We are trying to decide the affect it would have on him to see his Dad in the hospital - if it might be better for him to keep the memories of his Dad at his home instead. (His Dad is waking up only briefly and because of recent seizures, can barely speak.) We would welcome other's opinions. Thank you & God bless each of you.


  • mah
    mah Member Posts: 28
    My husband is dying from cancer. He probably does not have long to live. My 5 year old granddaughter is around him a lot. When he first got sick she didn't notice much, but now that he is on oxygen all the time and cannot run and play with her she has asked a lot of questions. She asked if her Papaw ws going to die. My daughter told her yes and it might be soon. She explained that medicine can't always make you well and sometimes people die. She has told her he will go to heaven and be with his mom and his brother. The advice I have gotten from Hospice and my minister is to be honest with children. Don't go into a lot of detail but answer any questions. Hospice also has grief counseling for young children. You are the only one that can judge how much you son can handle and does his father want him to see him in the hospital. It's a tough situation for everyone. Hang in there and my prayers are with you and your son.
    Mary Ann
  • iubymeu
    iubymeu Member Posts: 12
    I work in medical field here where I am and to me the best thing is to talk to the child and let him know what is going on but not to get in much detail. At this age he will not really comprehend it but as he gets older he will. As in the other reply from Mary Ann get in touch with Hospice or see if there is a group you can take the child to that will be able to help explain what is going on and answer any questions he might have. I hope and pray this will help you out.