how to start dating

filimu

Jupiter2s said:

I had a much different experience!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I have had a much different experience that most of what I have read. I had very unpleasant situations come up. On the first "lady", I told her in the date. She told me that it would take a very special lady to deal with that and left the table. I was on e a double date with two really good friends and I asked them if I had done anything that would have offended and they replied no. The 2nd "lady" I told her on the third date. She then thanked me for wasting her time and asked me to drive her home. The 3rd lady I didn't tell. We started to mess around and she noticed my "faux lefty" and freaked out! She was like what the F&*@ is this? I told her the situation. She immediately put her clothes on and left. There are more but I think I stated my case.

Side Note: It isn't the "women" I hang out with. They were all very different.

Remember that the world is not made up of understanding people. You just have to keep pushing forward through the sludge to get to those angels.

Lastly, I had a deaf girl call me half a man. I never laughed so hard.

glad to see you've retained your sense of humor!
You just haven't run into the right woman, that's all...

The first words out of my late husband's mouth, when we met were "I just had prostate surgery" - I said "so?" And for 3 years we were never apart...til something even more deadly took him away from me.

Four years later, I met another wonderful man, and it turned out he'd had testicular cancer 9 years earlier - I was too busy having fun the first time we made love to notice anything missing, then afterwards I noticed the little blue radiation markers on his chest. That's when he told me about it. Again, I said "so?" And damn, if what goes around doesn't come around. 2 months after we met, I had a bad mammogram, and from there it went downhill fast. A year later, I've had 3 surgeries, and probably one more to go, and he's stuck with me through it all and taken care of me wonderfully. We're quite a set...He's missing a testicle, and I've got two fake boobs and medicine that wipes out most of my energy and sex drive, and he's so frigging understanding...I couldn't love him any more than I do if I'd had to design him from scratch!

I hope you all end up with someone special...

acenter

filimu said:

glad to see you've retained your sense of humor!
You just haven't run into the right woman, that's all...

The first words out of my late husband's mouth, when we met were "I just had prostate surgery" - I said "so?" And for 3 years we were never apart...til something even more deadly took him away from me.

Four years later, I met another wonderful man, and it turned out he'd had testicular cancer 9 years earlier - I was too busy having fun the first time we made love to notice anything missing, then afterwards I noticed the little blue radiation markers on his chest. That's when he told me about it. Again, I said "so?" And damn, if what goes around doesn't come around. 2 months after we met, I had a bad mammogram, and from there it went downhill fast. A year later, I've had 3 surgeries, and probably one more to go, and he's stuck with me through it all and taken care of me wonderfully. We're quite a set...He's missing a testicle, and I've got two fake boobs and medicine that wipes out most of my energy and sex drive, and he's so frigging understanding...I couldn't love him any more than I do if I'd had to design him from scratch!

I hope you all end up with someone special...

Someone Special
Hi Filimu,

It is not often you get a woman's input on testicular cancer. Thank you for your perspective and congratulations on finding such a great match! I wish you the best in your future surgery and treatment.

Adam

tears2overcome

acenter said:

Someone Special
Hi Filimu,

It is not often you get a woman's input on testicular cancer. Thank you for your perspective and congratulations on finding such a great match! I wish you the best in your future surgery and treatment.

Adam

Looking for that connection!
I read all the posts on here, want to say thank you to all you gentleman for being so open and allowing this female to explore your posts. I know this post may not be for here, but your comments on your health , life dating and so on reflects the way I feel. I would like to date again, find someone to understand my "scars" from surgery. How to approach it, what would the date do if opened up with hi " survivor here", or tell my story. I imagine him walking away from me, me being hurt. Not much more can say other than good luck in your search for the right understanding lady , and I'll continue to wait for my perfect to come around.

Davepet

tears2overcome said:

Looking for that connection!
I read all the posts on here, want to say thank you to all you gentleman for being so open and allowing this female to explore your posts. I know this post may not be for here, but your comments on your health , life dating and so on reflects the way I feel. I would like to date again, find someone to understand my "scars" from surgery. How to approach it, what would the date do if opened up with hi " survivor here", or tell my story. I imagine him walking away from me, me being hurt. Not much more can say other than good luck in your search for the right understanding lady , and I'll continue to wait for my perfect to come around.

You do not open up with "I'm
You do not open up with "I'm a survivor" you meet & date people just like non-survivors. It's only when it looks like a relationship might be forming that you fill in the blanks. I've never had anyone back away & I'm a 35 year survivor from my first TC & I got some serious scars....

Dave

tears2overcome

Davepet said:

You do not open up with "I'm
You do not open up with "I'm a survivor" you meet & date people just like non-survivors. It's only when it looks like a relationship might be forming that you fill in the blanks. I've never had anyone back away & I'm a 35 year survivor from my first TC & I got some serious scars....

Dave

Thank you!
I appreciate your answer and will take respect in knowing it came from a survivor as well. Thank you and hopefully if I am blessed to find someone, when time comes for it to be serious he doesn't get scared and walk away..... Thank you again!

Davepet

tears2overcome said:

Thank you!
I appreciate your answer and will take respect in knowing it came from a survivor as well. Thank you and hopefully if I am blessed to find someone, when time comes for it to be serious he doesn't get scared and walk away..... Thank you again!

Well now,
If he gets scared & walks away, he wasn't the right person for you to begin with, now was he? Think of your cancer experience as a filter that gets rid of guys you don't need to waste your time on.Nobody worth a second look will walk away just because you had cancer.

Dave

tears2overcome

Davepet said:

Well now,
If he gets scared & walks away, he wasn't the right person for you to begin with, now was he? Think of your cancer experience as a filter that gets rid of guys you don't need to waste your time on.Nobody worth a second look will walk away just because you had cancer.

Dave

thank you
I appreciate answers coming from you male survivors. Its not easy to be the person on the other end of this infact had a date, well with another couple present the other nite. Nothing personal came up between us, he was nice man, very quiet , shy. We'll be getting together again in couple weeks for a yard bon fire party and maybe we'll see how it goes from there. He doesn't seem to be a man that may run for the hills, this remains to be seen. If it happens to much might want to date someeone that is a survivor.......
Thanx again for your experience and time......Bless you!

CelticGoddess

tears2overcome said:

thank you
I appreciate answers coming from you male survivors. Its not easy to be the person on the other end of this infact had a date, well with another couple present the other nite. Nothing personal came up between us, he was nice man, very quiet , shy. We'll be getting together again in couple weeks for a yard bon fire party and maybe we'll see how it goes from there. He doesn't seem to be a man that may run for the hills, this remains to be seen. If it happens to much might want to date someeone that is a survivor.......
Thanx again for your experience and time......Bless you!

dating other survivors
I am a single breast cancer survivor, and I am facing the dating problem, too. I'm here to get the male perspective on this, but you made a good point--what about dating other survivors? At least we would understand each other in that respect. What do you think? Should we create a dating Board/page/site just for cancer survivors? We could call it "Cancer Couples"! LOL