feeling to good for this to be true?

Leenie

I am 39 and was feeling better than i have in my life until Jan. I have 3 beautiful kids 17,15,12 and a wonderful loving husband. I ran the Indy mini marathon 3 yrs in a row and still run everyday, eat right, ect.... I felt my lump right before xmas (what a time) so of course i did nothing until after. They said breast cancer, i said not me i feel to good they said yes. I have had two surgery's the first one margins did not come back clean, no lymph nodes involed, no chemo just radation. i am in my 3rd week and feel so tired when i get home from work all i want to do is sleep. i feel like i am missing out on my childern let alone my husband. I just want me back the way i was. i know i will get there it will just take time... i could go on for hours. Keep up the Fight to all.. Thanks Leenie

bullfrog13

Leenie, Your story sounds so familur. While I have never ran in a marathon, or even around the block for that matter, I too was feeling good when I found lump in breast while sitting in the tub one day.

I had just come off a week vacation and had worked on house all week. When they told me I had cancer 5 weeks , 3 doctors, 2 sonograms,1 mamo, and a needle biospy later, I thought they had to be wrong because I did not feel sick at all.

I walked around in denial for next few days, until I had to have a chemo port put in, and see an ongoligist. (did I spell that wrong-YES im sure I did!) anyway.... I am like you I had teenagers everywhere! Two in college, one of which was getting married in July the next year, my father was really sick ( he passed away the day after my surgery) I left the hospital a day early and me and my 5 drain tubes attended the funeral)

I had Four kids still in high school with 3 boys playing football and headed for the state playoffs. I DID NOT HAVE TIME to be sick!

Well here I am two years, one week and 4 days later ( but who's counting) I now have Two in college, one married and working, one in HS and two in the service (one in Army who is in Korea now and one at basic at lackland)

I wish you the best and feel free to email me if you ever need a shoulder!
HUGS
jerilynfrog13@yahoo.com

ktinkey

Leenie,

Welcome to the site. I found my lump right before Thanksgiving when I was 35. My husband was out of town, I was feeling great and was going to dismiss the whole thing. However, when my husband came back the next week, I asked him to feel and see if he felt the same thing. To make a long story short, he made me go have it checked out, because I was just going to watch it. No history of cancer in my family, etc. When the diagnosis came back, cancer, it was harder for my husband to accept than me, for the fact that I was so healthy! He said if I had been sick or if there were any other symptoms, it would have been easier on him than to watch the doctors make me sick in order to cure!

Right now it is normal to have the feelings you are experiencing. We have all been there and we can tell you time will make it better, but it will be a gradual process. You mark time in small increments. When you can increase the time in between visits to the doctor, then when you have passed the six month marker, then the year, etc. Right now time seems slowed down, but it will speed up again very soon. Your energy will come back and you will run a marathon again, if you choose. In the meantime, allow your body to heal and savor the downtime. Life does go on and you will make it.

God Bless,
Kathy

sandytrif525

HI Leenie, the same for me, I was feeling fine no pain or anything. Felt the mass and thought it was a blocked milk duct. No it was stage 3 BC. Totally floored me. Well a year of chemo and radiation later, I am here to say that I am probably better now than before. I am eating healthier and started exercising. I have 4 kids too, one just starting college at the time of DX. She was able to be home for my surgery and take care of me. What a blessing. Husband was pretty good too. Just take it one day at a time. If you have made it to 3 weeks you can do one more, then before you know it you are finished. Will be praying for you. Sandy

bridgett

I felt the same way. I was healthy, happy, and I have never been one to be sick. Life was great, and then the awful news right befor x-mas, 12/16/02 they told me it was breast cancer. I was in total shock. No family history, and I am only 28yr old. I kept thinking this is impossible. The year before I had a needle aspiration done and the results were benign, so I waited a year to have the mass removed, thinking it was nothing but a fibroid cyst, it didnt hurt so a year later its removed and I find out its cancer, stage 11. So now I have had 4rds of ac and 3 taxtol, one more to go then a bi=lateral mast.(my own decision), they say I dont need rads, but the more I read, I may ask for them to be extra safe.
God Bless All of you
Bridgett

24242

I wish it was easy for everyone to give in and give themselves the rest they need to heal and restore their beings. We often feel like we are neglecting our families, yet we don't feel like doing it more energy to expell. We feel like cancer is wasting so much of our lives, wishing for it to end, sparing us from the side affects that some must go through as well.
Learning to take care of ourselves is the most that we should get out of our experience. I am sorry you feel the way you do, my hope is that you too will emerse yourself in getting better and doing what you can to change the coarse of all you must endure. and hope that you can give the body the rest it needs to repare all the damage that has been done by the cancer, let alone the damage encured from the treatments. I know one thing for sure and that is I wouldn't be here without the efforts and measures taken, I now live in gratitude and hope that I can give back to others that must endure and so much worse than anything I have had to face. I have found purpose finally in my life something I knew nothing about before having to face all I have.
I have found that there are things I have control over and those I do not and I choose to spend my energy on the ones I have control over. I have learned to let things go and not get stuck on some stupid thing way out there in left field. I think the thing I have learned is we can never go back and will never be exactly the same but that doesn't mean it can't be better than it was, if different. I have had to let the old me go cause it wasn't working and few new ways to live my life and take care of my being. I now consentrate on things I want to do and have learned to say NO and keep the energy for myself where it should of been forcused on. I have learned that I have more to give to others even though I do find myself saying no sometimes. I have purpose in my life something I hadn't even thought of before. I also live with some intention with the things I find myself doing rather than just going through motions just getting things done. I now do nothing if I seriously don't have the energy to do it anymore. The days are long gone that I can't stop and listen to all my body is saying. We listen to others more than ourselves sometime so feel it and hear what it says.
Be good to yourself always,
24242