My friend lost his mother to lung Cancer Yesterday

pjpentecost

My ex-boyfriend recently lost his mother to lung cancer yesterday. He was so close to her and is resistent to talking about it. I am not pushing it, rather letting him know I am availble to talk or just sit if he needs me. However, I have been lucky in life to not go through this personally. I would like to know if anyone can share some thoughts, concerns I should have, efforts I could make to help in this hard time - for him

jazzman

Hello,
I am very sorry to hear about your ex-boyfriends mother. I am a survivor as is my sister and mother. Last year my father died from cancer after surviving a bout with a different type of cancer. Dealing with loss is a very personal thing and in my experience everyone deals with it differently. Some people, like myself, want to talk about it, others want to cry, others want to deny it and still others are just angry. I don't know where your ex is at with this. I think that you are doing the right thing by being available, but also it might be easier for him to talk with someone who has been there before. The cancer society is full of people who have been through the same thing that he has. If it is at all possible I think that you should try to convince him to call his local cancer society office and talk with someone there. Also, hospice has some very good grief groups that meet. He can call a local hospice. You sound like a good friend and he may vent at you. This seems also to be normal.
Good luck