Time to go back to work

TylersMom1
TylersMom1 Member Posts: 57
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with bc in April 2002 and began treatments in June 2002. I stopped working in June to focus on my treatments and have not worked since. I am scheduled to go back to work next week on a part time basis and full time in May. I am really nervous about going back. I enjoy my job and love the people I work with but am really questioning whether I really want to work full time again. I have a very good job with great benefits (been there 15 years) and know I will not make even half the money I make now by working part time. I have worked full time since my son was one year old (was a necessity as I was a single parent, he is now 12) but now feel the need to be home more and not have such a hectic life. When working full time, we would leave the house at 6 a.m. and we (my son and I) wouldn't get home until 6 p.m. My husband would be home by 6:30 or 7. It was always a struggle to get dinner on the table, get homework done, and still enjoy a few minutes with each other before my son would go to bed. My husband is supportive of me working part time and just says we will have to tighten our belts. I feel guilty for worrying about the money aspect of it. My family has always been the most important thing in life to me, and after this year, it is even moreso. Because I was a single parent for many years, I still worry about money and I think that is where my reluctance comes from.

Sometimes I think that God gave me bc to help me realize that I need to work less, be home more, and enjoy life more. I would always tell people that the silver lining of having bc was my ability to stay home this past year with my son, and be more of a housewife. Has anyone else struggled with this issue? Thanks...Cheryl

Comments

  • heavenlee
    heavenlee Member Posts: 113
    Hi Cheryl,
    I am in your same boat. I was diagnosed in Jan. of 2002 and have been out of work since. I am a teacher and really have doubts. I was pregnant with my second child when I was diagnosed with bc and now have a wonderful 8 month old and have really enjoyed and cherished this time with him. I had to go back to work with my first son when he was 3 months so this has been such a joy to be home. I don't think I will go back to work till the new school year in August but I also think that God wanted me to stay home with my children..at least for this last year and just enjoy them. My Skylar was given to me for a reason..HE is my Angel and wouldn't change anything.
    I think alot of people out there struggle with this situation and it's not an easy one to face. You kinda just have to do what you have to do. I am needing to go back or else we won't be able to afford the home we live in or the cars we drive..and we want the best we can afford for our son's. I am just greatful for the time I was and still am able to share with my son's.
    Anyway...Take care and I wish you the best.
    Angel
  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 1
    heavenlee said:

    Hi Cheryl,
    I am in your same boat. I was diagnosed in Jan. of 2002 and have been out of work since. I am a teacher and really have doubts. I was pregnant with my second child when I was diagnosed with bc and now have a wonderful 8 month old and have really enjoyed and cherished this time with him. I had to go back to work with my first son when he was 3 months so this has been such a joy to be home. I don't think I will go back to work till the new school year in August but I also think that God wanted me to stay home with my children..at least for this last year and just enjoy them. My Skylar was given to me for a reason..HE is my Angel and wouldn't change anything.
    I think alot of people out there struggle with this situation and it's not an easy one to face. You kinda just have to do what you have to do. I am needing to go back or else we won't be able to afford the home we live in or the cars we drive..and we want the best we can afford for our son's. I am just greatful for the time I was and still am able to share with my son's.
    Anyway...Take care and I wish you the best.
    Angel

    Hey Cheryl,
    I was also diagnosed with BC in Jan of 2002. I had a 6 month old baby girl at the time of diagnosis. I only work 2 days a week at my in-laws jewelry store, so it is a different scenerio. However, I think it does not matter if you have cancer or not. Family is most important and you need to be with your children as much as possible. Also, you don't need all of the hectic lifestyle that you had before. In order to heal and be healthy, you need all of the relaxing you can get. Also, don't know if it helps, but I looked at my cancer as a bunch of bad cells that I had to get rid of. As of today, I am doing great, I think God gave me cancer so that I would start taking better care of myself. I have and feel great. Best of luck to you.
    -Karen
  • starg103
    starg103 Member Posts: 7
    Hi Cheryl,
    I think you should follow what your heart is telling you. If that's working part-time, then do it. Or if it's thinking of changing your profession, then do it. It's better to be happy in your life than miserable and guilty. I've been home since Jan.2003 and had surgery Feb. It hasn't been that long for me, but the time that I do spend with my 7 year old son is the best!! Just being able to pick him up from school gives me such joy and him too since he doesn't have to go to after-care. This short time off so far has also made me realize that I might want to do something different in my profession so that I can have more free time. I pray for guidance all the time and it helps me so much. Good luck to you.
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    starg103 said:

    Hi Cheryl,
    I think you should follow what your heart is telling you. If that's working part-time, then do it. Or if it's thinking of changing your profession, then do it. It's better to be happy in your life than miserable and guilty. I've been home since Jan.2003 and had surgery Feb. It hasn't been that long for me, but the time that I do spend with my 7 year old son is the best!! Just being able to pick him up from school gives me such joy and him too since he doesn't have to go to after-care. This short time off so far has also made me realize that I might want to do something different in my profession so that I can have more free time. I pray for guidance all the time and it helps me so much. Good luck to you.

    Hey my suggestion is 'stay at home'!
    Put God first then family and let work fall where it may. Teens, I believe, need a mom at home more than any other age. All I did was work, work, work. I prayed to get to stay at home, well I'm here now. It only took sarcoidosis, parkinson's disease and breast cancer to slow me down. I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. Most importantly I found God, my family and myself. Trust in the Lord He will provide the way! God bless. hummingbyrd
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    Hi Cheryl:

    It's so good that you're doing well, healthwise!
    As is the case with many of us, it seems that the
    "real" work begins as we grow from our cancer experience and realize that we feel differently about many things now. It can be a bumpy road of sorts but I believe that if we just listen to our hearts, our new thoughts, feelings, way of living and loving, can all express themselves in positive ways, as we sort out what really matters most to us now.

    We often not only feel "different" after cancer...we ARE different. For most of us that means that we are even better, stronger, more resourceful, etc. So, I think it boils down to what you really want to do. Is being home with your children/family more important to you than working when your heart isn't in it? If your heart is at home, then the rest of you must be there also for it to matter.

    It's easy in todays world to become focused upon material things. Our society is SO geared in that direction. More money, bigger house, bigger cars, bigger vacations, etc.. It seems that often, we exist for the sole purpose of becoming bigger and bigger consumers. Thoughtlessly buying, using and tossing more and more every day. We work ourselves to a frazzle and sacrifice our family life and/or peace of mind, just for that privelege. That thinking permeates every waking moment of our (and our childrens')lives. It's up to us, though, whether or not we "buy into it". Is what we give to our children of ourselves more important than a $75.00 pair of jeans for our child? If we choose to work because we really want to work...because it's fulfilling to us on a personal level, then that's one thing. If we work, just so we can have more and do more, when we'd really rather be at home, parenting and loving our children and taking care of our families and ourselves, then that's a stressful situation which we must address and work out. Again, our hearts must be our guide. That's the "bumpy" part, I think. Reconciling our choices, free from guilt. If we have our priorities straight, it makes change a bit more of a smooth transition. First, most of us must extricate ourselves from the "machine"...that being the more, more, more track. Feeding that machine for one's whole life frequently only leads to regrets and recriminations and not feeling satisfied or happy about the quality of one's life in the end and that's sad.

    My vote is to do what's most important to YOU now. We can never know how "different" feels and suits us unless we at least try it on. As long as you KNOW what you really feel, you'll make the best choice for yourself.


    Good luck and let us know what you decide.

    Love, light and laughter,
    Ink
  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    Cheryl, Hi. I was wondering what you do for a living, and if you are in a position to do the work you do at home, you know a home office, an extension of your employers office. Maybe if that is something that is possible you could bring the idea up to your employer. This would give you more flexible time, and more thime at home with your family. I can relate to being a single mom. My breast cancer has visited me a few times, and when I had my son I started my own business at home as to not become the " Bye Bye, Night, Night women" It has been dificult, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Depending on what you do, your employer might be open to the suggestion. I hope they are. Spending time with your family is important. I don't know if you got bc because god wanted you to slow down, but I do think you were chosen because you are strong and have a message of hope for all of us, not just us who have been there. As far as dinner goes, Crock pots are wonderful things, put your dinner in, meat, potatoes, veggies etc. cover turn on and go. Done when you get home. Also you can try a pressure cooker. It cooks in half the time of the oven. I also have a time bake on my stove that I put everything in the pan, chicken, rice, dtc. set temp, time on, time off before work and go. Again done when you're ready.If you dont have time in a.m. to put things in crock pot, do the night before and put crock pot in refrigerator. Take out in a.m. and plug in, turn on. If you want to talk, e-mail [email protected] Hope this helps alittle. Thanks for hanging in their and being an inspiration to all of those whose lives you touch everyday. Thanks for touching mine. Sara
  • livin
    livin Member Posts: 318 Member
    Hi Cheryl, I understand how you feel I retired my self after my second Cancer in 2001. I felt I needed time to focus on me. I workked 25 years as a Nurse taking care of others at times I think better than myself. I took care of my family, Mother, Father Sister and Brother sometime little time for myself. Always there to help if I could. Well since I had the Cancers I dedcided to take Care of Me. I use to make 4 times the money I get now. I have learned to me that nothing is more important than your health. I use to buy what I want. I now buy what I need. Being a Nurse I know I can get a job almost anywhere. I needed this time to focus on what I want to do with my life. I've been a Nurse over half my life. Thats all I know is Nursing. I have also decided to better myself in my profession so that when I do go back maybe it won't be as stressful. I have decided to try a different branch of Nursing. Thought about trying some other field of work but I came to the conclusion that this is best for me to do. Livin