long will it last?

jeeperskreeper Member Posts: 6
Hi, My name is Jake. I had Hodgkins 2a. I went through 12 Chemos and 4 weeks of raditaion. I was 17 when diagnosed, Now I am 18 years old. I have been in remisson for about 4 months.

When I was told by the doctor that the lump on my neck was cancer, it had little effect on me. What got me was watching my mom cry in the doctors office. That was the hardest time during the whole thing. I guess you could call me a strong person... But lately I haven't been feeling so strong. For sometime now I've had a fear that my cancer will come back. I realize that this is a pretty common thing for all of us to fear. I'm not very worried about the fact of someday getting it again. I beat it once, I'll do it again if I have to. I'm just worried about my mom. I really hate to see her go through the pain of watching her baby boy go through that.


  • dpomroy
    dpomroy Member Posts: 135
    I hear you about hating to see what it puts your family through. Boy, I wish I could've got off to Mars and come back healthy so no-one else had to watch all that. But the reality is that they probably would've worried all the more while I was off fighting cancer. My parents watched me, and as a mom I had my kids watching me too. I was glad it was me that had would be awful to have seen my mom or my kids or anyone I love go through this, but at the same time I would really WANT to be there for them.
  • sherra
    sherra Member Posts: 41
    I think I know how you are feeling. I'm 22 years old and because of my cancer; I'm still living at home with my parents. I'm afarid to let them know how I feel both physically and emotionally because I've seen the way my cancer affects them. When I was first diagnosed, my mom could not even look at me without her eyes filling up with tears. She'd try to hide it from me but I knew that inside it was killing her. My parents, as well as the rest of my family, has tried to be so supportive of me while I go through treatment but the truth is that treatment, chemo and raditation has been a cake-walk compared to watching my family go through this. I'd like to hear more from you-feel free to email me.
  • greytoyota
    greytoyota Member Posts: 1
    I had HD in 1999. Six months of chemo. Been in Remission since
  • acronk2
    acronk2 Member Posts: 1

    Back in october of 1994 I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease at 19. It was in stage 3a or b, don't remember exactly any more. I went through similar treatments as you did, 12 Chemo treatments, and 19 daily radiation doses after that. less than a year later I was told I was in remission, and now it has been 9 years, and nothing has come up on regular check ups, and another good note to this is that when I was treated I was told I may become sterile, and not be able to father children. Right now my wife is 2 months along with our first child!!!! It is very hard on family members especially parents. they are our parents and in a way they think they shouldn't outlive their children. I wish you good luck and may God be with you through your remission, and will pray for you that it won't come back.
  • AlysonA
    AlysonA Member Posts: 2
    Hi Jake,
    I just found the cancer network or would have replied to you sooner. I have had cancer twice. Once when I was 7 and again at 12. I sort of know what you are going through because I was 7 when my mom found my lump on my neck. I was too young to know what was going on, so I watched her go through it for me. At 12, I was much more aware and scared I was going to die. I am now 31 and have been in remission for 19 and 24 years respectively. And I want you to know that my 2 cancers were unrelated. The Hodgkins had nothing to do with my second bout with cancer. And I have been cancer free ever since.

    I'm 31 now and have been able to live my life with a postive attitude and perseverence--those are the good things that come out of a bout with cancer. You truly will learn to "live" again, without the fear. Your email sounds so much like me when I was 12 or even at 17. When a person goes through cancer, experiences want no one else to go through it.

    You are a part of a very special group of survivors and I wish you all the best and a lifetime of happiness.

    -Alyson from Pittsburgh
  • josuit
    josuit Member Posts: 6
    Hi Jake!
    I was diagnosed in '88. I had a staging lap (surgery), 6 months of chemo and 20 radiation treatments. I was 35 at the time with 2 young children ages 11 & 9. I just had my 50th birthday and feel great. No more check ups at the cancer center either. My kids are 26 & 24 and I have been so blessed to watch them grow into wonderful adults. I plan on being around for a long time! Best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll be just fine and thoroughly enjoy the rest of your long, healthy life!!!
  • illy
    illy Member Posts: 1
    hi i am ileana and i knwo how you feel. i was 13 when i was found out i had lumps on mu neck. i was really horrible seeing my mom, dad ,and sisters cry because they were all shocked at the fact that i had cancer. i know its really hard and i have been on remission for 3 years and i and scared that i might get cancer again but if i ever do i know that it will be ok becuase i lived through it once and il live through it again.
  • tanderra
    tanderra Member Posts: 2
    I don't think you will ever get over the fear of 'what if' I went through treatment in 1993, I was 24. I would go for all of my check after treatment, like clockwork. But then I had my children, and I stopped going. I knew that I would have to go back. This January (2003)I went back again, to make sure I was still OK. I sat outside of my little one's school before I went to the hospital for about a hour. I didn't want to know, if it was gone or back. But I am happy to say that I am considered a closed case by the hospital now. I don't think you will ever really believe that it's gone. But 9 years now, and trying not to count.
  • BeezyBop
    BeezyBop Member Posts: 3
    Hi Jake, I am 10 years cancer free this month, and I have decided to stop counting. Look how far You have come already. Your unbeatable now.Its funny now when I think about the first year after....I thought I was unbreakable...Like nothing could happen to me..I beat cancer..and then I would get scared, what if, well you know what!.Those are all normal thoughts. The ups and the downs. But the bottom line is....You have been blessed. We all have. And your parents love you even more. Live well for them, That will make up for it all.