still hope?

Donna

I know people say there is always hope and deep down I believe that but am having trouble since we got the news that Dad's cancer has spread to his hip and there is now no chance of surgery. I'm not real sure why that is--I guess because of spreading more? Dad is having 35 radiation treatments to his chest (for 1 lung tumor and 3 chest lymph nodes) and 13 treatments to his hip. He has 18 left to go on the chest and 7 left to the hip. Chemo hasn't started yet. Once cancer goes to the bone, can it be stopped?? The doctor said the bone scan only showed it in the hip. When we heard they were just doing 13 treatments to the hip, we thought this might mean the cancer wasn't real bad there but then a friend who is a nurse said it might mean that's all they plan to do. My Dad will not let my Mom or me go to his doctor appts with him because he doesn't like for us to ask the doctor a bunch of questions because he thinks it's embarrassing. He won't ask hardly any questions either. I think maybe he doesn't want to know and I can understand this because I can't imagine what he is going through right now. It's just hard to have all these questions and know that you can't get them answered. I love and respect my Dad very much and don't want to make him mad but the not knowing is driving me crazy. Anyone out there know of anyone where their lung cancer went to the hip? Does this now mean stage 4 and no hope? Sorry for all the questions but I am at a loss. Thanks for listening. Donna

hollywooder

Donna, You are having problems with hope because you are being denied access to knowledge. Knowledge can greatly reduce fears. There are numerous sites on the Internet and even on just this site which can give you lots of information. Is your Dad concerned about questioning the doctor because he is a very private person or because of some thought that the doctor will be offended? Doctors need the patient's help in determining what treatment path to take. This disease can be so unpredictible in how the patient reacts to the treatment and so individual in what the person can handle and what the person gets out of the treatment. Can you talk with the doctor on the telephone for your peace of mind? Maybe you could get an appointment with the doctor or the case worker yourself. I am 61 and I have informed my two adult children about everything and my daughter travels 400 miles to go with me on my "heavier" oncology appointments, because I can't focus every second...so two heads are better than one. Contact me by e-mail if you like and I'll share sites where you can research this or I'll just listen and respond to you as best I can. Peace to you, Margaret in Carlsbad, California mbnevada@aol.com