terrified of recurrence

inkognita

My initial melanoma was diagnosed approx. 4 years ago. A wide excision was performed with clear margins, and I was told there was a 95% chance it would never recur. However, about 9 months later, a lymph node popped up and was positive for melanoma. A radical lymph node dissection was performed with an additional positive node. I began Interferon therapy but was only able to take about 1/4 of the full year course due to impending liver failure (not a typical reaction). I was told there was about a 70% chance of recurrence. At my checkup last week, my liver enzymes were very abnormal and I am scheduled to undergo an abdominal CT on Friday to rule out recurrence, this time in the liver area. Does the terror ever get any better? I am so paranoid about recurrence and the very limited treatment options available to me. I have many other health problems which also complicate the situation. Can anyone help me with this feeling of panic?

gnail

It is frightening but it does get better...slowly but surely. Knowledge and laughter I think are key. I went to comedy shops and things of that nature to "force" laughter and to force the thoughts of cancer from my head. I also joined a melanoma support group and over time became a senior member of the group and felt great comfort in knowing that I could help the newly diagnosed find information, show them a living example of someone who has had stage 3 melanoma since July '99. If you ever want to chat via e-mail, messenger programs or the phone I am more than happy to do so. My e-mail address is gnail@sky.net.

hpydncr

Hello, I realize you posted this months ago, but I haven't been on the message board. If you would like to write me at hpydncr@earthlink.net, I can give you a support group of hundreds of melanoma patients who communicate daily by email. It is a group of people unlike any I have ever known and the information is up to date. Good luck. Linda Talbott

adroegmiller

There is help. You don't have to be terrified. I will let you in on how I got away from the terror. Let me know if you are up to hearing it?