Back to square on

24242 Member Posts: 1,398
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Well ladies didn't make the flight, I had to cancel at the last minute because I was to ill to travel. I suddenely had a horrid attack where my body pored water from every oraphus of my body and throwing up all over. When I am sick like this I can't do anything, don't know when I am going to be sick so have to be home by toilet. What complete disappointment that I won't be able to bury my mother in-law with the rest of the family. It just wasn't ment to be with tears in my eyes. I have so upset because for the past 2 weeks it looked like I was putting my health issues at bay but instead it has come at me full force. I find it interesting the doctor I saw said that my body is just ridding itself of toxins it isn't all bad. I can't live like this getting sick like this just like that. I have never taken ssuch good care of myself as I have the last 6 months and really nothing is making that much of difference after all. I am not in pain, I take that back but I seem to be ill still most of the time. I would like to know why my body feels this need to shut down and poar water out of my body. It isn't right. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced such attacks that have made me more physically ill with each epasode. Why is my body breaking down and excreating toxins like this, there must be a reason. I am very down and upset with myself. I wish there was something I could do to control this and maybe I too could have a bit of a life.
I was hoping I would only have good things to say but seems my time hasn't come YET.
Thanks for listening,
You are always there for me,


  • ludasue
    ludasue Member Posts: 98
    Hi Tara! I'm sorry to hear about all of your difficulties. I sometimes have those 'attacks' out of nowhere. They tell me it's from all of the damage the chemo did to the good parts of my body. I guess it's a give and take deal with that nasty chemo ... we get to live so we can feel like crap .. lol. I can tell how down you are. Gosh, I hate that. I wish there was something I could say or do that would fix it all but I know there is nothing. I'm sure your in-laws understand you being unable to join them. I'm sure they know how much you wanted to be there with them, and know you would have been there had you been able. I hope things start picking up again for you real soon!!! You are such an inspiration to so many of us .. and now, when you need a lift, I find myself at a loss for words. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong!!! love, angie
  • shirlann
    shirlann Member Posts: 229
    Hi, Tara, as an old hand, it sounds to me like a major panic attack. I have had years of experience with this, and it sounds like a classic. It mimics every known illness but is definitely naseau, perspiring, and just ill, ill, ill. I would talk to someone about anti-depressants. They are not addictive but take 3 to 6 weeks to work. They have been a life saver for me. I have had these attacks all my life and I used to pray someone would find a reason. I just refused to believe it was not real. Well, it is real but it is fixable. Think about it, God bless you, hugs & kisses, your sister, Shirlann
  • comom
    comom Member Posts: 46
    I am so sorry you are feeling so lousy. Perhaps the stress of your illness along with the anticipated travel was too much. Maybe your body is telling you your pushing too hard. Whenever I felt at my worst, I knew it was time to do something really nice for myself. Even something as simple as sitting on my deck with a good book in the shade and asking my family to leave me alone for an hour or two. Be good to yourself. I will be praying that you feel better soon. Please keep us posted.
  • nasa2537
    nasa2537 Member Posts: 311
    Hi Tara....I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I missed my grandmother's funeral because I was afraid to fly....afraid of bringing on lymphedema. I'm sure that part is bad enough for you, let alone to have all the physical crap thrown at you. Are you still doing chemo, or are you just getting sick at the spur of the moment? Again, I am so sorry, and you just vent your feelings any time...that's why we're here. I'll say some prayers for you! Hugs to you, Cyndi
    [email protected]
  • pamtriggs
    pamtriggs Member Posts: 386
    Don't do this to yourself Tara. You are giving your body a "die " message for some reason. Read that book I told you about Bernie Seagal - Love Peace & Healing & also it's predecessor Love Medecine & Miracles. They explain all about the live versus die message & how we can self heal. It truly makes sense & is worth the read. I am so thinking of you & giving you the live message. Heal your mind & it will heal you.
    Love & hugs