The label "cancer survivor"

Beepositive

Hello I no longer have Cancer

hello I no longer have Cancer and I will keep claiming that ! living my new "NORMAL life" Survivor, made it , beat it, call it whatever you like...Im Living!

Beepositive

 

Abk

I've never defined myself this way before

In the chat room, I'm asked all the time if I'm a survivor, fighter or carefaker. Having to choose one of those terms, I guess I'm a survivor since it's been almost 3 years so far, but truthfully, I really do NOT choose to define myself that way at all. I prefer to just go back to the life I had, maybe feeling a little more aware of things now, maybe taking notice of the flowers and sunsets more, quietly, but don't want my life to be lived around the fear and anxiety that I still feel at times. Am I a cavity-survivor after a dental visit? Am I a car accident survivor after I get a dent?Am I a child survivor after bringing up a man for 30 years? Well, maybe the latter, lol!

Fondly,

Alison

inkblot

Survivor?

I'm with DebW on the short answer relating to survivorshiip. 

Surviving, I think, brings to mind images of someone struggling, barely hanging onto anything...a career, a mate, a home...whatever.  Miserable maybe and just down on their luck.  If someone asks someone how ya doing, and they respond, well, I'm surviving, what message does that impart to you?  To me, it says they've got big issues but they're still here, or there, as the case may be.  Not exactly good news, I'd think. 

 

Surviving was never a word, in my vocab, concerning cancer.  I consider myself a thriver. Someone who is living and loving, happy and grateful and fulfilled.  Ordinary. Why?  I love life and cherish the one I have and everyone in it.  Blessings, scares, warts and all.  After traversing the highway that is cancer and treatment, how can we only think we're surviving?  No.  We're thriving.  Getting on with our lives.  Relegating cancer as a part of our history, exactly where it belongs.  Letting go of the scars of what was a quite awful time in our lives. 

Can someone be a survivor of divorce?  A survivor of bankruptcy?  A survivor of of having lost someone very dear to us?  And why, in obits, do they always list the deceased as being "survived" by their family members and friends?  As if they all had the same condition, ailment, disease, yet somehow, the family hung in there and survived and the departed did not?  

In reality, if we're going to bring up our cancer experience, in general conversation with someone, why not bring up every other condition we ever had and consider ourselves survivors of many colds and flue, parenthood, scary plane rides, appendectomies, tonsillectomies, a broken arm when we were 10 years old?  Makes no practical sense to me that we'd even introduce the subject in a casual setting, workplace setting or dinner out, or other gatherings.  Those who care, kinow, and those who do not know, don't need to know.

 

Of courese, I'm no fan of the Warrior thing about cancer either.  No, we're just very scared, yet brave people on a very mean journey.  We recover, but not because we were warriors, but because we wanted to live, and wanting to live is no small thing to endeavor to do, when something has taken over our body and is threatening our very existence.  After the battle is over with treatment and we're pronounced NED, what then?  Do we lay down our mace, our catapults, our weapons of mass destruction and declare ourselves a surviing warrior?  Retired warrior?  What's the point of that?  Do we need to feel we attacked and won, maybe?  Just not my cup of tea to engage in such dramatizations.  I know where I was and I know where I am and I know I'm strong. The cancer journey taught me just how strong I was and continue to be.  I don't need such euphmisms to describe myself.  It's just:  Here I am.  Like anyone else.  

Yes, I do feel that some organizaitons target/pander, to people who've had the disease or condition for which the org raises funds or recruits volunteers.  Most receive huge sums, yet the services they tout, are provided, in largae part, by volunteerrs.  Amazes me sometimes where all the money goes.  Not just calling out cancer orgs, but all disease and condition orgs.  Here's how I feel:  If I died tomorrow of cancer, I would not want my loved ones to request donations to cancer organizations, just because I had it.  Just as I would not want them building a wall of warriors and splashing everything in pinki either.  Loved ones are lost everu day and its devastating to those left behind, however, we cannot really assuage any of our pain and sense of loss, by making big donations or rounding up teams to walk, run, ride a bike, carry something a certain distance, etc..  Perhaps just a small donation would do just fine and not bother asking others to do the same.  They may really prefer to donate to something entirely different or not donate at all.  I think there's a lot of amazing people in various organizations, but I also think there's a lot of corruption and the playing on emotions. unnecessarily as well, in fundraising.  Give and get a Tee.  Give and get a bumper sticker.  Really?  All that offends my sensibilities somewhat.  If one wants to give, to anything, just give and let it be.  We humans are a strange lot in many ways.  Strange and wonderful, all at the same time.  

I have never felt that there is any stigma attached to a cancer diagnosis.  Not at all.  If there could be, then I can't imagine where that would arise from within a person's thinking. 

I have never felt embarrassed that I had cancer.  Why would I?  It is not the sum total of what my life is about.  It was only one historical piece of it. The storm came, it passed and was endured and afterward, the work begins to rebuild our bodies, our minds and our emotions, while nurturing our spirits as well.  Regaining our fotting so to speak. We reach for and eventually attain balance again.  We thrive.  We thrive because of, or perhaps in spite of the storm.  And if we can call ourselves survivors, surviving is what takes place while we're rebuilding ourselves and findind a healthy perspective, and healing, in the wake of the storm.  It does not happen overnight.  But, it DOES happen.  For me, that came with realizing that I was no more in charge of whether I'd ever have cancer rear it's ugly head again, than I had been when it did rear it's ugly head.  I resolved to devote no energy to worrying about it or being afraid about the future. Not unless it ever did come back again.  That freed me to thrive and just be who I am and live my life the same as you may, or anyone else may.     

Lastly, I have never felt special that I had cancer.  And I woulf noy feel special should I ever have it again.  I did grow and realize strenghts I never thought I had, during my cancer journey, and that, was the plus side of it.  The rest of it was work and keeping myself strong, focusing on positive things I enjoyed, not wallowing in myself, day after day.  It was many things, but "special" it was not.  It was draining, ti ws tiring, it was painful at times, but special?  It never qualified.  It initially made me everything from angry to sad, right on through to acceptance that yes, this is what I have and I need to get on with whatever I intend to do about it.  Emtionally charged wasn't the word, intial;y. when I learned I had breast cancer. 

I would consider a thesis on cancer "survivorship" a noteworthy endeavor and I wish you all the best in collating all the info you can glean, in order to make it great.  I find it rather sensitive of you to have that interest in the finer, more delicate points of how people may feel after having had cancer and treatment.  What it means to them and how they describe themselves, etc..  It isn't a subject I've seen being discussed in many academic circles or other circles either, for that matter.  And I have no doubt that you can draw from your own experience as well.   

I believe you will recieve as many diverse thoughts on your questions, as there are women, and men here who will respond  And honestly, there is no "right" way to feel about any of the topics of your questionnaire.       

Love, light & laughter, Ink

 

  

laralee

Well.  I had breast cancer

Well.  I had breast cancer nineteen years ago and had a mastectomy.  Done.  Recently I found problems in the other side.  Different problem this time and it had spread to the lymph nodes. So chemo, then another mastectomy.  Pathologically Complete Response results from the surgery.  Great news.  But, I have not survived anything.  Just got sick and now got better.  I am going to die someday from something, just maybe not cancer.  I also do not fight nor battle anything.  When I find a problem, I attempt to fix it.  My husband died of leukemia three years ago.  He attempted (chemo three times that never did work at all) to fix it, but ultimately it was not fixable.

lilystar5

Breast cancer survivor

That is a very good question. I have wondered about this term myself. Why not be called an overcomer? It seems that there is much to overcome when going through breast cancer treatment. I had breast cancer twice. Both in the same breast. The first time I had a lympectomy with 38 radiation treatments. The second time, a mascectomy with 4 - 5 staph infections and vancomycin (a heavy duty antibiotic) with an accompanying 5 - 6 surgeries. Even though it was difficult, I managed to get through that and overcame it. 

I think for me the most difficult part has been that I can no longer work full-time and haven't been able to for a long time due to my immune system being weakened. That is what I miss the most. Being able to do physically what my mind says I can do and then not being able to.

So in that sense, I would say, yes I am a survivor. I am grateful that I was able to watch my children grow up, as they were small when I was first diagnosed, and just had a grandson born, which brings me great joy. So having "survived", and overcame - gratitude fills my heart, despite the change in lifestyle.

Apaugh

lilystar5 said:

Breast cancer survivor

That is a very good question. I have wondered about this term myself. Why not be called an overcomer? It seems that there is much to overcome when going through breast cancer treatment. I had breast cancer twice. Both in the same breast. The first time I had a lympectomy with 38 radiation treatments. The second time, a mascectomy with 4 - 5 staph infections and vancomycin (a heavy duty antibiotic) with an accompanying 5 - 6 surgeries. Even though it was difficult, I managed to get through that and overcame it. 

I think for me the most difficult part has been that I can no longer work full-time and haven't been able to for a long time due to my immune system being weakened. That is what I miss the most. Being able to do physically what my mind says I can do and then not being able to.

So in that sense, I would say, yes I am a survivor. I am grateful that I was able to watch my children grow up, as they were small when I was first diagnosed, and just had a grandson born, which brings me great joy. So having "survived", and overcame - gratitude fills my heart, despite the change in lifestyle.

wonderful..

I applaud your strenghth and courage going through so much to remain positive.  We all are dealing with so much.  We are finding out this walk is a run and boy it makes you tired.  But like you, I just keep pressing on and finding ways to help myself not get down about it.  I look for the blessings and the silver linings everyday.  Little steps to take but I am taking them.  

Keep up the fight warrior

Hugs

Annie

ssfoine

breast cancer survivor

I had breast cancer 18 years ago.  My profile is up in here.  I am cancer-free now and pray it stays that way.  Too many family members did not survive.  Only problem I had was I needed to replace my implants after 15 years.

finbeck

Survivor?

I tried to look up another word for survivor, but couldn't really find one.  One definition is someone/somethings that still exists after an event that could have killed or destroyed them.  Sounds pretty uninspiring to me.  I don't want to survive cancer, I want to overcome it,  go on and live my life.  Yes it may come back, but I don't want that to be the thing that defines who I am.  I am/ was a wife ( my husband died), I am a mother ( 5 children), I have 6 crandchildren.  I was in the military.  I love my family, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.  I want to be defined by the fact that I overcame this cancer.  I might not over come the re-occurance.  So what am I then the cancer victim.  Is that what my tombstone will say.  I hope not.