merle Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I have been cancer free since August of 2000. I had surgury, chemo and radiation. I have since returned to work and do everything I can do to stay heathly, but I never quite feel at ease. I don't live a happy life. I constantly worry that the cancer will come back, how do I end this fear and go on with my life. I am so grateful that my life was spared but I still worry - Why?


  • vicmier
    vicmier Member Posts: 10
    Happy to hear that your health is well. I still dont feel at ease. My feelings just re-surfaced after hiding them. I played the tuff guy and not let that affect me. But now I see that I should not of done that. Worry I will always worry. I think everyone worries. In my opinion, I think the worry is still there because the chance of it coming back are there. I have not still to this day sat down and gone over what exactly colon cancer is. Like I said, I put all the feelings aside, and never took the time to research. All I knew is that I have it in me. My surgery was in 97' I am doing great, but I still worry.
    I hope that I did not bore you or distract you. I just wanted to say that I think that the worry will be there.
  • wildcat
    wildcat Member Posts: 40
    What a great question? I don't have the answer but have the same fear. I had the surgery, chemo and radiation treatments and am on my last round of treatments. Is the fear daily, weekly, monthly? What are you doing to stay healthy?
  • soozi
    soozi Member Posts: 6
    wildcat said:

    What a great question? I don't have the answer but have the same fear. I had the surgery, chemo and radiation treatments and am on my last round of treatments. Is the fear daily, weekly, monthly? What are you doing to stay healthy?

    Merle - Wildcat has something there. It's been 8 years since my treatment ended. AGRESSIVE treatment. After 3 years when the risk of recurrance really dropped I felt a lot of relief. I eat organic food. For me, this is action I can take to maintain my health. I take a yoga class, I walk when I can. After the cancer I was painfully aware that this is the only body I will ever get. So I take really good care of it. I also grow some of my food organically. There is nothing like creating life to find the joy in it.

    Iwas really depressed for a year after treatment. I still have pain every day from radiation damage. But I try and be good to myself. Treat yourself well, you deserve It!
  • novatocabruce
    novatocabruce Member Posts: 19
    Colon cancer is a poopy thing; I know from personal experience.

    It's perfectly normal to be depressed. Go with it. But remember. . . everyone is going to die. No one gets out of here alive. No one.

    I have an 8 year old son who motivates me. Maybe you can get involved in something where you give some of yourself. Maybe some volunteer work? No matter how bad things might seem, there are others who have it worse. You can help them and I guarantee that you'll feel better because you're living with purpose.

    I wish you well!

  • maura
    maura Member Posts: 7
    Dear Depressed,
    I know what you are feeling. Yes, I have the same cross as you. Hopefully, your faith is strong to make peace with the cancer. You need to go on living in God's time. He gave you this situation to grow in many ways. Don't waste a moment in worry. Take hold of your precious time to live again. Many Blessing to You!
    Jesus I Trust in You!
    A Cancer Friend!
  • hp3kguy
    hp3kguy Member Posts: 3
    although I'm new to cancer, Oct. 2001, I've always been able to fight depression by getting involved with volunteer work. It seems that when I am helping others my depression goes away.
    Best of luck, and don't give in to it.
  • kalel1138
    kalel1138 Member Posts: 3
    There have been several good posts that respond to the depression that comes from your situation. Cancer is tough because it threatens your physical life. That is not something that can be taken lightly. The thoughts that you may have to undergo treatments again and even that you may die prematurely can cause heartache and depression.

    I believe that this is normal and all survivors go through this in one degree or another. Knowing that your not alone can help, but I find that on the bad days there is little that can help.

    As cancer can rob you of your life, so can depression. In a way they are similar and your depression needs to be attacked as aggressivly as your cancer was. The suggestions in the other posts are right on. Get involved in activities, work, school, whatever. Staying busy will not only help you get more out of your life, but will help you distract your thoughts on things that aren't related to the cancer.

    I also recommend that you look into strengthening your relationship with God. I love reading Maura's posts because she is so on the money with her faith. I promise you that if you devote a little of your time to searching out who he is and how he feels about you that you will find more happiness in your life. It doesn't matter what religion or denomination you believe in. Just start. I personally came closer to God through cancer than I ever thought possible and in the midst of the hardest trials felt his healing power.

    If you have any questions about where to start, please let me know. You can email me directly at

    Good luck and Keep your chin up.
  • garyandbobbie
    garyandbobbie Member Posts: 1
    ZOLOFT 100mg per day