stage 3b (tnm=4d-2-0)

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ejprojects
ejprojects Member Posts: 18
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
well, my girl laura started chemo today.
i can't believe this is happening. she's shown a lot of courage, though. i'm trying to coax her into accessing this web site. no luck yet. second opinion on tues. one day at a time i guess. cat-scan, bone-scan, and blood test good except they want to do a liver scan. they told her that her hair will fall out in ten days. oh boy. i guess i just need to get this out. thank you. eric

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  • nocarb1
    nocarb1 Member Posts: 99
    #2
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    Eric,
    Did she have her surgery and start chemo all at once?
    Best of luck to her!
  • sueholm
    sueholm Member Posts: 205
    #3
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    Hey Eric , you are doing great! and I think you must be somewhat relieved about some of the test results. It sounds as if Laura is going to have the chemo quite a lot of us have had,,,where they tell you your hair WILL fall out in ten days..no ifs, ands, or buts. Give laura time to adjust to all this..if it is hard for you imagine what it is like for her. If she does want to talk with others who have been where she is going, then there is this site, and also cancersurvivor.com, which has a great chat room. Make sure you don't expect Laura to be strong and have 'courage' all the time. Be there on the days she needs a shoulder to cry on. sounds as if she is lucky to have you in her life. Susan
  • ejprojects
    ejprojects Member Posts: 18
    #4
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    nocarb1 said:

    Eric,
    Did she have her surgery and start chemo all at once?
    Best of luck to her!

    she does three more chemo's....one every three weeks (to shrink the tumour before surgery) if it doesn't shrink, they will
    not operate but instead employ other treatment. i guess that means its pretty bad.
    so we are hoping for shrinkage. its been one day and she feels fine (after chemo) i feel
    like she is trying to keep me interested in her. i wish she wouldn't try so hard. her cancer is not her. thanks for note. eric
  • ejprojects
    ejprojects Member Posts: 18
    #5
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    sueholm said:

    Hey Eric , you are doing great! and I think you must be somewhat relieved about some of the test results. It sounds as if Laura is going to have the chemo quite a lot of us have had,,,where they tell you your hair WILL fall out in ten days..no ifs, ands, or buts. Give laura time to adjust to all this..if it is hard for you imagine what it is like for her. If she does want to talk with others who have been where she is going, then there is this site, and also cancersurvivor.com, which has a great chat room. Make sure you don't expect Laura to be strong and have 'courage' all the time. Be there on the days she needs a shoulder to cry on. sounds as if she is lucky to have you in her life. Susan

    thank you for your support and advice.
    i wish i could force her to get help from this site and others. patience i suppose.
    eric
  • docsunshine
    docsunshine Member Posts: 5
    #6
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    ejprojects said:

    thank you for your support and advice.
    i wish i could force her to get help from this site and others. patience i suppose.
    eric

    Eric: You sound onderful to be so supportive. My husband was and is not. the chemo mad eme deathly ill and when all my hair fell out and I was heartbroken all he could say was - you knew it was goign to fall out you act liek the onlyperson who has this disease so why are you so upset. such compassion. Anyway, enough of me. I have a VERY dear friend who did somethign for me right after my hair fell out. They gave me the gift of having a pedicure and my naisl done. After EVERY chemo or right before the next one, he wyould take me to the nail palce and i'd have a pedicure and my nails done. It made we feel so very wonderful. I didn't ahve any hair but I sure had beautiful nails and toes! It was a very special feeling. Jsut a suggestion to take the focus off the chemo and on other beautiful parts of your lady's body! Lynn
  • veneasa14
    veneasa14 Member Posts: 6
    #7
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    Eric Hi my name is Veneasa I am a 14 year breast cancer surv. I was 26 when I was told I had breast cancer. Is your girl laura "girlfriend or daughter"? If laura is anything like me when I first had breast cancer I didn't want anything to do with anyone else who had cancer especially if it was someone who had no hope of making it. I can share with you though that I had to learn the hard way and being and talking with other cancer patients does help very much.. But you can't push it on her.. My e-mail address is mommylove1@hotmail.com if she would like to talk one on one let her know that I am a survivor of 14 years and was very youn when told I had cancer. Losing her hair will probably be one of the hardest things to handle I could handle cancer better than I could being told that I was going to lost my hair. Now if it happened again I would let it all fall out..Strange all the things that have changed in fourteen years.. And I am proud of you coming into this site. good for you.. DEFINATELY talk, face your emotions.. Best way to deal with stress.. Well Would you please keep me up on things pleas e-mail me like I said I would be happy to talk with laura one on one.. God Bless.. Veneasa
  • nocarb1
    nocarb1 Member Posts: 99
    #8
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    veneasa14 said:

    Eric Hi my name is Veneasa I am a 14 year breast cancer surv. I was 26 when I was told I had breast cancer. Is your girl laura "girlfriend or daughter"? If laura is anything like me when I first had breast cancer I didn't want anything to do with anyone else who had cancer especially if it was someone who had no hope of making it. I can share with you though that I had to learn the hard way and being and talking with other cancer patients does help very much.. But you can't push it on her.. My e-mail address is mommylove1@hotmail.com if she would like to talk one on one let her know that I am a survivor of 14 years and was very youn when told I had cancer. Losing her hair will probably be one of the hardest things to handle I could handle cancer better than I could being told that I was going to lost my hair. Now if it happened again I would let it all fall out..Strange all the things that have changed in fourteen years.. And I am proud of you coming into this site. good for you.. DEFINATELY talk, face your emotions.. Best way to deal with stress.. Well Would you please keep me up on things pleas e-mail me like I said I would be happy to talk with laura one on one.. God Bless.. Veneasa

    Hi Eric,
    I know this is very unlikely cause my doctor said it was a first for him, but I took 6 rounds of AC and my hair didnt all fall out. I went and bought a very expensive real hair wig and not once have I had to wear it. I have 6 rounds of taxol left so I am again expecting to have it fall out. You just never know!! Hang in there, everything will be ok!! :)
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #9
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    Hi Eric,
    Sometimes it is the toughest thing to stand bye and watch someone go through this. None of us ask for this but there we are in the midst of the worst nightmare of our lives. Your Laura is feeling very vaulnerable about all things in her life. She feels this need to keep you interested because she can't control this part of her life. She may be desperate to keep you at this time because many of her hopes and dreams have been shattered by this disease. The others are right you can't push her, all you can do is LOVE her for that is truly the best thing that you can do for her. You may also find she doesn't share all her feelings with you because she wants to spare you and others the pain that she feels welling inside of her. Be patient your journey has just begun and with you by herside, your strength will be felt. Her courage and strength will come with time and renewed hopes and dreams. I can't tell you enough how fortunate she is to have a man like you by her side.
    Be good to yourself,
    Tara 24242
  • pamtriggs
    pamtriggs Member Posts: 386
    #10
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    You are one good man Eric - Like my John. Hang in there. He always says as long as he has me he doesn't care if I have no breasts or 10. I have lost my hair twice now - once with Adriamycin & again with Taxotere. I am stage IV with mets in spine, ribs & pelvis & still going strong so do not give up hope. Tell Laura there are plenty of us survivors of stage 3b & stage IV so not to despair. Keep in touch.
    Love to you both
    Pam
  • ejprojects
    ejprojects Member Posts: 18
    #11
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    pamtriggs said:

    You are one good man Eric - Like my John. Hang in there. He always says as long as he has me he doesn't care if I have no breasts or 10. I have lost my hair twice now - once with Adriamycin & again with Taxotere. I am stage IV with mets in spine, ribs & pelvis & still going strong so do not give up hope. Tell Laura there are plenty of us survivors of stage 3b & stage IV so not to despair. Keep in touch.
    Love to you both
    Pam

    thank you for your support. it is appreciated! eric
  • jean m b
    jean m b Member Posts: 6
    #12
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    pamtriggs said:

    You are one good man Eric - Like my John. Hang in there. He always says as long as he has me he doesn't care if I have no breasts or 10. I have lost my hair twice now - once with Adriamycin & again with Taxotere. I am stage IV with mets in spine, ribs & pelvis & still going strong so do not give up hope. Tell Laura there are plenty of us survivors of stage 3b & stage IV so not to despair. Keep in touch.
    Love to you both
    Pam

    wanting to talk w/ stage 3B or 4 survivors
    Hi - are you still on this site? If so, please reply... I need to talk to a survivor that had the cancer beyond the lymph nodes!
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #13
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    jean m b said:

    wanting to talk w/ stage 3B or 4 survivors
    Hi - are you still on this site? If so, please reply... I need to talk to a survivor that had the cancer beyond the lymph nodes!

    Jean
    Hello and welcome to the site. You can talk to me , write me a message/e-mail. I was diagnosed with stage IIIC in May 2008. I was 46 at that time.
    New Flower

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