SCARED

rory
rory Member Posts: 30
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
I am a cancer survivor having had Hodgkin's disease in 1974, losing my spleen, going through radiation treatments and being sick all the time, and dealing with long-term complications of the treatment. Recently, I developed swelling of my arm and hand with pain in my upper left chest. I am currently going through test to determine the cause. CT scan revealed enlarged lymph node under my left arm. Also, my left breast appears larger than the right - I am right handed. I am schedule for a mammogram and may hear today whether I will need a biopsy. I am scared that I may have cancer again. I have been told that I am high risk for a second cancer due to the radiation I had years ago. It seems I have had to fight the battle with my health all my life. I developed lung damage, hypothyroidism, heart problems, and now this. Why me!!! I'm scared of what the doctors may find. How will I cope with another blow, how will my family cope. Do I have to be strong for them. Who can I talk to. I have already seen the concern expressed by my wife and fear on her face. I try to disassociate myself from my feelings, and keep a positive attitude, but down deep I am very scared and becoming even more depressed.

Comments

  • loulou
    loulou Member Posts: 65 Member
    #2
    rory, I can't imagine anyone not being afraid in your situation. It's a real fear that all cancer survivors have. Hopefully we don't let fear take control over our lives. Share your fears, and concerns with your family, and then just live!
    Good luck, loulou
  • rory
    rory Member Posts: 30
    #3
    loulou said:

    rory, I can't imagine anyone not being afraid in your situation. It's a real fear that all cancer survivors have. Hopefully we don't let fear take control over our lives. Share your fears, and concerns with your family, and then just live!
    Good luck, loulou

    Thanks Loulou for your support. My wife and I had a long talk about it last night. We both admitted being scared. You see... My brother died of a secondary cancer to his lung cancer in 1996 at the age of 36. His initial symptom was his left arm and hand swelling and some neurological stuff with it. My symptoms mirror his. As you know, the Docs don't always diagnosed it the first time around. It was 6 months before my brother was diagnosed after his symptoms started. Supposedly, everything was clear except for the left arm and hand issue. Anyway, I will not let this get the best of me. I have fought it before and I will fight it again if necessary. Thanks again. ~ Rory
  • janbobby
    janbobby Member Posts: 3
    #4
    how did u make out? praying 4 u, jan

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