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brenda passed away

amyb15's picture
amyb15
Posts: 109
Joined: Jun 2009

Brenda passed away about 1:00 am this morning. I was with her when she died. She seemed and peace and it was not a difficult death. My heart is breaking. Have lost my very closet friend and has left my 15 year old neice without a mother and an alchoholic father. We just got home froam the hospital at 4:00 am. My neice rachel is sleeping at my house tonight. Her dad showed up at the hospital drunk tonight. Rachel was sooo dissapointed, sad and embarrassed. My heart is broken. I does not seem real, She fought up until the very end, but the cacer killed her anyway. Goes to show a positive attitude does not always help. I was hoping and praying for a miracle. It did not come. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaate this disease as you all do. Love all of you. Continue the fight.
AMY

amyb15's picture
amyb15
Posts: 109
Joined: Jun 2009

and patteee, I am in the purple shirt, brenda in the black and red tye dye. She was a 7th grade math teacher, Loved by all of her stundents

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Amy, I am so sad to hear that your family has lost their angel Brenda. My condolences to the family and may your hearts be strengthened with all of the good memories you have of your time on this Earth with Brenda. I know it is hard and your heart is breaking.I hope that your niece Rachel will continue to have your influence in her life....she will definitely need you. ( I say this as having been a child of an alcoholic Father )

My love, thoughts and prayers to you at this difficult time. You have been such a good sister.

-Pat

jararno's picture
jararno
Posts: 189
Joined: May 2010

Amy,
I am so sorry about Brenda. Please know that you did everything that you could for her and her family. I know she knew how much you loved her. Take some time to regroup, breathe and do the things that you need to do. Your niece will need your love and help to get through this difficult time. I am sorry that her dad has not been there for her. It is hard to know how things will be, but I know you will do everything in your power to help your niece.

Huge hugs are being sent your way.

Take Care,

Barb

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

condolences.

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

hi amy,

so sorry to hear about brenda. I hope you can find some peace now brenda is at peace.
I guess a positive attitude does not guarantee a miracle. My hope is that it may help us have some peace of mind. I am grateful as her passing seemed peaceful. She was lucky to have you as a friend. Your neice is also lucky to have you.

love,
Pete

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Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

Oh Amy, I am so sorry! Brenda is at peace now, pain free! Now comes the hard part, life and living without her :(:( Take it a step at a time, hold onto those memories and to Rachel. You both need each other right now.

hopeforcure49's picture
hopeforcure49
Posts: 111
Joined: Jan 2011

Brenda is at peace. Her fight is over. I pray for you and your family to find peace. Blessings, Lourdes.

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

very sorry

michelle

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

sometimes, I agree, that it seems that a positive attitude doesn't work. But we don't know what the outcome was supposed to be. Her attitude maybe got her thru things she otherwise would not have, even tho the end result is the same.

We do not have control over either our or our loved ones' lives. Sad, but true. I'm sorry that she left behind a daughter that is not well cared for...can you possibly take her?

BIG dutch hugs, Kathi

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Amy,

I'm so sorry. I cried my eyes out last night before bed, knowing that this was coming. I am very glad to hear that it was peaceful for her, though. She's no longer the one to pray for, as she's in heaven. I will be praying for her for you, and for her husband and his alcoholism, and most especially for her daughter Rachel.
May God give you rest and comfort soon in the loss of your beloved sister and best friend. You've done so much for her and I know you will be stepping in to care for Rachel quite a bit in these future days and years.
Take care- please check in here every now and then.

Hugs and prayers,
Lisa

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

I know Brenda will be sorely missed by many, most of all you. You've been an awesome sister and advocate for her during this battle. Thank heaven God has her in His arms permanently now,just wish he'd stop taking the good ones! Her struggle has ended, while yours continues. I pray for strength and comfort for you and Brenda's loved ones as the days pass and you try to adjust to your loss. Big hugs.
mary

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm soooo sorry.

Is there any chance your niece can choose to live with you? I think at 15, the courts give them a choice.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Diane

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

I hope for peace and calm soon for the family, and Brenda will shine through her daughter, your niece, you will see that in her now, she lives on through her daughter......Love and caring and deepest sympathies, Clift

newperson's picture
newperson
Posts: 76
Joined: Mar 2010

Amy, I'm so sorry. I haaaaaaaaate this disease. God, Why this happened to Brenda? I cannot hold on my tears while reading this sad news. I will be praying for you, Rachel. Hugs to you. - Lucy

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

May you be comforted in the coming weeks and my your niece find a respite for her living situation. Such hard choices in a difficult situation. You are and have been a great sister throughout. I am blessed to know you.

Leslie

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

over the loss of your beloved sister, will be praying for you and her family. your neice is lucky to have you

hugs
sonia

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3372
Joined: Jan 2010

Dear Amy,

I know there are no words which will comfort you and Rachel just yet. The hurt is too new.

But as the days go by, I pray that you and Rachel may find that hurt somewhat lessened as you fondly remember Brenda and the time you had together.

I also pray for a solution for Rachel's situation with her dad. I know you will do all possible to be the main love and support in her life.

May each day that passes be filled with less hurt and loss, and more love and good memories.

Marie who loves kitties

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

So darn sorry. I lost my husband on the 31st of December to this beast. I hope you can help your neice live with you or a better family member. I also wanted a miracle and it did not come. We just need to carry on and remember them always. Love to you at this time and always. Paula

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

I'm sooooooo sorry hugs Tina

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so very sorry the miracle we so hoped for did not occur. I have no doubt that Donna, Eric, Kimby, JR, and all the rest of our semi-colons that are now gone will be there to wrap their arms around Brenda. The greatest gift you can now give to Brenda is to be the loving aunt and advocate for her daughter, Rachael, during these most difficult days, weeks and months ahead. Your love of your sister showed in every single word you wrote on the board and Brenda was very lucky to have you.

Take care and let us know how you are doing. Once you are family, you are always family here.

Sincerely,

Tina and George

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

I am so sorry Amy. Brenda will be soooo missed. Please keep us informed on you. So sorry.

Jennie

luv3jay's picture
luv3jay
Posts: 534
Joined: May 2009

I'm sorry for your loss. Cancer really does suck...I hope you have peace right now.

Sheri

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you have lost Brenda. Brenda has been on my mind + in my thoughts so much. I was in chemo all day today + on the way home Brenda was totally on my mind. If I remember correctly, you were posting here before Brenda was. The closeness + love between you two was clear in every post either of you made. Brenda's love and concern for Rachel were also very clear. I would guess that knowing you are there for Rachel helped Brenda a lot. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

Amy,

My sincere condolences to you and all of your family. I pray for comfort for Rachel and that her father is able to put aside his addictions and do what he needs to for his daughter.

Amy

Crow71's picture
Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

Amy,
I'm sorry for your loss. Brenda meant a lot to me as well. As an out of work teacher, I always admired her for continuing to teach while she fought cancer. She recently said, "It is almost impossible to think about cancer while teaching 7th grade."

Take Care Amy,
Roger

JoyceSteele's picture
JoyceSteele
Posts: 146
Joined: Nov 2010

Amy, just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for you and Rachel. I'm so glad she has you. Take one day at a time, and take comfort in your memories. I will pray for you. Love, Joyce

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss of your sister. Cancer sucks, indeed. I know you'll be watching over Rachel and so glad she has you to do so.
May the pain in your heart ease.
Love to you.
Winter Marie

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

I'm so sorry to hear of Brenda's passing. I know you were a good sister to her and that she fought really hard.

It's unfortunate that her husband handled things the way he chose to at the hospial - a decision he'll have to live with for the rest of his life.

I am wishing for you peace and calm during the coming days...and I hope your niece will be ok - I'm sure you are a great aunt for her as well.

This disease is all to real and each passing brings us all a sobering reminder of what we face on a daily basis.

Thank you for all that you did and for letting everyone know so we coujld share Brenda's journey with you both:)

-Craig

bruins1971's picture
bruins1971
Posts: 227
Joined: Nov 2010

Amy I am so very sorry for the lose of your sister and certainly my heart breaks for your niece Rachel who is now left with what seems to be a troubled father. But somehow I know she will be fine for she has you in her life. Brenda may be gone but will never be forgotten as her spirit lives on in this group and in her daughter. I was glad to read that she went peacefully as that is really all we can hope for in life. May God bless you and your family during this most difficult time in your life.

God Bless,
Bobby in Dallas

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Amy,

I am so sorry and so very sad to read of Brenda's passing. You have been a wonderful sister throughout this difficult struggle. I will keep all of you in my prayers. I pray that you will be a special blessing in Rachel's life, my heart just breaks for her. Again, I am so sorry.

Aloha,
Kathleen

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

My sincere condolences to you and Rachel. It is tough to lose a sister and a best friend. I know my sister too fought up until the very end and I mean the very end. It just breaks my heart. All of it. Please reach out if you need to talk. Blessings and prayers.
Marie

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

I am glad that she went peacefully, I think that is the best we all can ask.
Sometimes the positive attitude is all we have, that goes for either side of the disease. It certainly looks like your niece can use the positive attitude from people in her life since her father does not seem up to the task.
My condolences
-p

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry about your loss,your neice will probably really need you now.I will pray for all of you.I HATE CANCER.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, Amy.

I'm very sorry to hear about Brenda. She really did fight the good fight, and she had a wonderful advocate in you. I'm sure it makes her feel at peace now, knowing that you will look out for Rachel. Praying for you and your family.

*hugs*
Gail

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Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. She was lucky to have you and all your help through her difficult times.

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