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Liver

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

I had a really good day today as far as my mental clarity and mood goes. These are moments I hope to have plenty more of. I spent the day preparing myself for what I think is about to come. I don't by any means want to borrow trouble buti am seeing the doctor tomorrow about my liver pain. My mother is taking me to my appoint ment in the morning and I told her to be prepared to have the doctor tell us that he is going to stop treatments. I cannot imagine with the amount of liver pain I am having that he will continue. I am sure my liver is a ticking time bomb right now. This does not mean that I am giving up or that that is what will happen but that is what I am prepared for and it may not be as bad as I think but once you start having that amount of liver pain it is not good. It's crazy because I am having all this pain and some symptoms of severe liver disease but then again i am not having any major symptoms. I am not having any confusion except every day ordinary type stuff. I do not have grey or light colored stool. No blood in urine as far as I know, no jaundice ( knock on wood) no diarrhea, and no fever or night sweats.
I am a researcher and sometimes it gets me into troube. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Anyway, after doing research I found out that severe liver pain is an end stage symptom of liver failure so unless the doctor comes up with a plan to control this that I don't know about then things are not looking good for me. I am not concentrating, obsessing, or have major panic about it. Strangely, I am feeling pretty good and pretty peaceful and I have my well being back against all odds. I am going to turn my energies toward preparing myself for whatever comes, prayer and alternative treatment because I think I'm down to a wing and prayer. A miracle from god or an alternative treatment if my liver is not too damaged. I am still able to eat even though I have no appetite and so far no nausea or vomiting so that is good. I hope that I am mistaken about this but I do not think I am. Fortunately, God has helped me to get a hold of my depression and I am actually feeling pretty good. Am I posting this on the board because I have given up or I feel like I am going to die? - NO. I don't know if it is a defense mechanism or denial or what but they say that a lot people know when it is their time. I don't know if that is true or not but if it is I don't feel like I only have a short time to live nor do I see a future for myself so I guess it all works out in gods time. As of now though, other than the pain I do not feel like my green mile ends any day. For now, I will pray and eat things that are good for the liver. I am going to be really nice to my poor little liver that never did anything to anyone. All it did is try to remove the toxins from my polluted body and In return I abused it. There was a year in my life that was probably a blur for my liver. Come on Buddy - hold on long enough for me to attempt a rescue.

Love you guys,
Eric

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Re:
"I found out that severe liver pain is an end stage symptom of liver failure "

I had Hep-A, and man..... when the liver is failing, it takes every other
organ with it. It's not just "pain", it's vomiting, death-like feelings,
fever, total lethargy....

It's the brain telling you that you're dying, because all the organs
are failing at the same time.... that's the "liver failure" modus operandi..

From the way you're describing things, you have a pain in your side
around where your liver is... and not much else?

I dunno, bro... but it don't sound like liver failure to me. Your liver
is probably good 'nuf to fry up with some onions.... mmmm...

Seriously, stop worrying. If your liver was failing, you wouldn't
be able to type to the forum.....

Relax.... have a beer or sumptin'.

You're gonna' be just fine!

John

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

John - there is more to it than just a pain in the side. I did make it sound like that liver failure was imminent but I did not mean to come across that way. I just meant I do not see my condition getting any better because my liver has to be pretty damaged to be inflamed enough to press on my rib cage and it cannot heal fast enough while it is still being attacked. While all this is going on my tumors are growing and they seem to be doing it rapidly right now but I believe that I can reverse the process but in order to do that the cancer has to stop growing and I doubt the oncologist is going to want to pump more chemicals into me while my liver is still under distress but that does not mean I am bound and determined to have something seriously wrong with me. I am not a hypochondriac sitting around obsessing and looking so hard for symptoms that I find them. That is not my style. In fact, my family gets mad at me for being just the opposite because I never tell them about my physical stuff. Anyway, I knew when I wrote this post that you would be all over it and it is nice to have a smack in the face once in a while. I needed to hear it but I do not think that I am currently in liver failure but thanks for reminding me just exactly how it will happen if it happens. I am not getting ready to call in hospice or throw in the towel. I am still feeling pretty alive and I am concentrating on good thoughts. I think you are a good guy and a great addition to the board and you crack me up. I know I am not dead yet and besides I am too pretty for cancer and I am gods gift to myself.

Eric

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herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Dear Eric,
I'm not an overly religious person, I believe in a Higher Power, a Supreme Being. And to Him, I send my prayers and thoughts for you.
I have liver pain too, I worry about it too. But so far, it's been nothing, things are going well for me. I hope and believe they will be for you as well.
I used to wake up and go to the mirror to see if I had yellow eyes. That's one of the first hints of liver failure, you don't have that. And, yes, I no longer look in the mirror for the yellowing of my whites, I'm past that worry, as Buzz says, what it is, is what it is, or what I say, what will be will be.
I think your little "Buddy" will be hanging in there and not quitting on you.
We have hope for you hon, just grab onto the rope we're holding out for you, and climb out of that pit of lost that you are stuck in at the moment.
I have a feeling, the onc won't be giving you dire news tomorrow. I'm praying for that.
You are in my thoughts there buddy.
Winter Marie

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

THanks herd, I needed to hear that. I am actually feeling pretty good and not worried about my appointment and I don't feel doomed and may be completely wrong about how it's going to go tomorrow and that would be great. I laughed about the looking in the mirror thing because I have totally been doing that. No jaundice so far. I'll stop looking. There is no reason for it because I do not wear makeup and I don't have any hair. Maybe just an occasional longing glance at myself.

Eric

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

you are in my thoughts and i hope the drs can help with the pain.

michelle

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Eric..... maybe you should stop by the mirror more often and take a GOOD look..... Dude, you are hot.... and that bald head...luv it! You ARE a gift from God. We are all blessed to have you in our lives..... and don't be thinkin you are checking out any time soon..NOT! I can definately see how you are drawing your conclusions BUT... I think you are jumping the gun. You DO NOT have the symptoms of liver failure. That pain can be from numerous reasons. I know how the mind wonders to areas we all don't like to think about but you need to change your train of thought to include more positive thoughts. NO..NONE.. negative stuff. You don't have to think...well, maybe I better start thinking.."what if"...NO..NO...NO. You be thinking..."what can I do".... If your current doc not giving you the answers you need or not fixing you...move on to one that will. Don't accept what you got...don't settle. We don't have the luxery of time...so make the most of your time...don't WAIT for answers....don't wait for things to get worse... YOU gotta get the ball rolling... to your satisfaction. I just don't want that fighter I know you have inside of you to relax.... no time for that. You know your my Bud..... I care a lot about you. You special :)

Jennie

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

Reading your post just breaks my heart! I do not post often, but I check on everyone daily.

I wanted to throw out SIR Spheres. Have you looked into this? My sister's insurance denied her several times for this procedure and I often wonder if she had it if she would be here with us today. I went with her to her appt. with the radial oncologist. He was excellent and explained the procedure very well. While it does not offer a chance for a cure, it did offer her a "lifeline" perhaps long enough to be a candidate for another treatment.

I also know, my sister's liver failed. She had jaundice, severe back pain (I mean severe), and distension in her ab. So, no, I do not think you are in liver failure.

I am praying for you and sending very positive good vibes your way. Nothing about this battle is easy and you are one tough fighter! Keep on fighting.

Marie

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

You got me at a loss for words, Eric.

I'll be anxious to see what your doc says about all of it. I recognize you have taken a real beating in your journey - have been through your share of issues. As always, I hope there is some hope and things will be ok.

You know your body pretty good, so I believe what you tell everybody. Jan will probably be giving you a call soon - she had talked about you and said she would contact you.

All the best - Craig

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

It is what it is,so you are very right at this point,you prepare for the worst and hope for the best.I wish you the best as always and you are in my prayers as always.Take care,buddy.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am thinking of you. I hope the liver pain can be resolved. I am glad you are feeling good mentally, etc. as that is what is needed when dealing with this beast. Then you can show the cancer + especially your liver who is boss. Take good care of yourself.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6554
Joined: Feb 2009

Sorry that you are having pain but that doesn't necessarily mean it is anything serious. Are they monitoring your blood? Chemo can be hard on your system that is for sure, but don't count yourself out and please quit doing the research on the internet because that can get you into thinking - see it did it this time. Hoping and praying that your news is not as bad as you thought tomorrow and glad that you are having a good day. You need more of those. You are a great inspiration to this board with a fantastic attitude.

Kim

luv3jay's picture
luv3jay
Posts: 534
Joined: May 2009

Hey Eric,

Hang in there, my friend. I have a lot of itching...which made me nervous about liver damage too, but my liver function is just fine. I hope you get good news tomorrow and will be allowed to continue treatment. Please let us know your outcome tomorrow. Be blessed.

Sheri

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