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I Know I’m Overreacting

Spydergal's picture
Spydergal
Posts: 54
Joined: Jul 2021

Well the latest news is that Dr Whenham MD, MS, FACOG, FACS at MOFFITT, who is the department chair; and WOW theres a lot of initials after his name( I'll probably go bankrupt seeing him, lol); his scheduler called yesterday to tell me he's taking me as a patient and I now have my first appointment on September 14. I am thrilled to have him take me as his patient, but now my brain is in panic mode thinking holy crap why would a doctorb who is also a researcher  take me as a patient if my sonogram didn't look like I have cancer. If it looked like the possibility that I probably don't have cancer why on earth would he so easily take me rather than pawn me off to another doctor. I'm now terrified. Do I have a valid reason for concern or am I over reacting? I actually hoped he'd say no Your sonogram doesn't look that bad chances are you don't have cancer so I'm refering you to another doctor. What the hell? I'm so (you know what).

BluebirdOne's picture
BluebirdOne
Posts: 475
Joined: Jul 2018

I would read nothing into his acceptance of you with regard to your sonogram. I would be very gratified to know he is a top researcher because he will be conversant with the latest cutting edge protocols. My GO who saw me initially at Mayo is also a researcher (most of them do some kind of research at these NCCN facilities), not the department head, but a big deal there. They usually work in teams, I had the GO, a surgeon, a radiologist, others who I did not see but they interpreted my scans, pathology, etc. After finishing treatment, I now see a general oncologist, who also does research. I am NED almost three years so I just get routine exams now. We are always saying to our newbies, go to the place and doctors who see a lot of these cancers, you did just that. The best part of going to a one stop shop is that they will coordinate all of your appointments, your records are within one institution, and if far from your home doctors, they will coordinate care with them. Good luck with your September appointment! 

Denise 

oldbeauty
Posts: 320
Joined: May 2012

Agree with Denise.  Maybe you do have EC, maybe you don't.  Perhaps he sees an interesting case either way. My words of wisdom:  It is what it is.  Whatever it is, your situation is established, and what you need now is a competent analysis.  I had a second opinion done at Moffitt in 2005.  You'll be in good hands there.  Congratulate yourself on your successful self-advocacy!  Best wishes, Oldbeauty

MAbound
Posts: 1160
Joined: Jun 2016

We always tell others who come here to take things one step at a time. Getting diagnosed, then staged, and then a treatment plan is a process. There are so many variables involved that looking too far ahead is the surest way to needlessly scare yourself silly about things that won't necessarily apply to your particular circumstances. Celebrate that you are now in good hands and will get your questions answered. Well done on advocating for yourself!

Tamlen's picture
Tamlen
Posts: 323
Joined: Jan 2018

I remember well the endless spinning every time I saw an oncologist early in my cancer diagnosis -- why did they pause when answering that question? why did she not make eye contact right then? what exactly did she mean by that? why is she sending me to that specialist -- is there something she isn't telling me? My poor husband had to put up with me looking at every sentence, every recommendation from every possible angle I could think of. I finally realized I was contributing to my own suffering in those early weeks and months.

MAbound is right -- it's tempting to want to hurry and get clarity and make things happen, but these places all have their process and they will methodically work through their own process at their own pace. There are so many variables for each of us and trying to read into everything they say and do is an exercise in frustration and futility. Try to take a breath, celebrate that you're now connected with a great cancer center, and resist the spinning. It's hard, I know.

Tamlen

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1808
Joined: Jun 2015

You are in the best of hands with Dr. Wenham! He and his staff are incredibly knowledgable and caring. Be prepared to wait a bit... they usually run behind schedule.

It sounds like you are dealing with anxiety. You may want to consider using an anti-anxiety med just to get you through the beginnings of this stressful journey. This is the hardest time in the process. Once you know what you are dealing with and have a plan (if one is needed) things will settle down for you.

Deep breath! Your appointment will be here before you know it.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Harmanygroves's picture
Harmanygroves
Posts: 294
Joined: Jun 2021

Spyder, you are well supported by all of us. You're a treasured member, and we are here to follow your travels.

Love and hugs, brave one.

"The Other Deb"

t519
Posts: 31
Joined: Jun 2021

I am thinking of you and am in a similar spot while I wait to get a hysterscopy. I have Kaiser in California at the moment, and I am in the middle of trying to decide if I switch insurances and start with a PPO in September. My current ob/gyn at Kaiser is in charge of scheduling the hysterscopy, but the waiting is making me crazy. I have bounced around this forum to try to pull the valuable information that members have contributed to your posts to help in my situation as well. The sonogram findings mentioned a 1.7 cm polyp versus submucosal fibroid, but what I read of hypoechoic and heterogeneous doesn't look great for if it is a polyp. I am also trying to sort things out, but I am making myself more confused than probably helping. 

I will be praying for you, Spydergal, and I am happy to hear you will be able to meet with someone you will be able to trust. 

t519

Harmanygroves's picture
Harmanygroves
Posts: 294
Joined: Jun 2021

It made me think of when I had first moved to Cambodia. I began using some of the language before I could understand spoken language answers back to me. I would ask "How much?" when at the Asian outdoor market. The Cambodian saleslady would say, "M'puan riel," and I'd hold out a handful of bills and let them take the right amount. Of course, they were probably earning a lot of money from me. You simply can't learn enough about all this uterus stuff right away. Take your time, and use this rich resource of the think tank here!

 

Hugs, lady.

t519
Posts: 31
Joined: Jun 2021

I love your description regarding when you first arrived in Cambodia. I work within a French/American bilingual school system, so the picture painted is perfect.

I found out today that the hysterscopy wouldn't be completed until Sept. 29th if I stay with my current insurance. I am up for re-enrollment before Sept. 1st if I want to switch to a PPO. When I spoke to my doctor today, she said she can get me in for the endometrial biopsy on August 27th, and they can try another ultrasound to see if it is any clearer this time due to having my past one the day before my period was set to start. I went ahead and let her book that appointment, but I am uncertain that it makes sense as my understanding has been until we actually look at the pathology of the particular polyp, the endometrial biopsy might miss something. 

I believe if I switch insurance, I could still probably have the hysterscopy around the same time frame, but I feel a bit like I am flying into the unknown.

The women on this forum are helping me hold it together in the midst of anxiety. You are all so amazingly helpful with the information you have provided to one another and to those reading your words in the middle of the night when they can't sleep. Thanks for all you provide to others without knowing.

Also, spydergal, thinking of you. 

Harmanygroves's picture
Harmanygroves
Posts: 294
Joined: Jun 2021

What amazing women this forum attracts.Your brilliance and comments make me smile.

I always worry that my comments are a bit too random and anecdotal, but I of course am connecting deeply with how you are feeling right now.

Whatever you can do to get checked, monitored, and keep moving that ball down the field is what you need to do.

I have found it very helpful to only give myself so much screen and research time. Any deep breathing, massage, etc. happy place activities you can do are a big green checkmark right now.

All the loves--

Deb aka "the other deb"

t519
Posts: 31
Joined: Jun 2021

The happy place activity was relaxing in a pool this afternoon with a friend. I didn't realize how much I have been researching and not living the last few days. It was good to feel sunshine on my face and regroup. 

I came home afterwards and signed documents to switch insurance from my HMO to a PPO. It took some balancing and researching further regarding choice of doctors in the area, but I feel much better taking control of the situation and feeling that I might be able to get an appointment for the hysterscopy sooner. 

Thanks again for the encouragement. I am thinking of each and every person on this forum and hoping each one of you has sunshine on your face this week. 

Spydergal's picture
Spydergal
Posts: 54
Joined: Jul 2021

The What insurance is best for cancer care is another thing I have to worry about to. Already considering getting a divorce so if I have to file for bankruptcy it won't destroy both of our credit scores. I have made an appointment with a financial advisor to figure all this out. Yes I'm getting ahead of myself, I am a planner. I want to have everything laid out and set into motion while I'm still healthy enough to do so. Dealing with our current healthcare system doesn't help. I have family in Germany, they have a fabulous healthcare system. When my uncle was diagnosed with emphysema all his healthcare was paid for. They don't face financial ruin and have to file for bankruptcy like we do here. My cousin Angela has MS and she has excellent care without the stress of figuring out how to pay for it. I don't know how you gals deal with all this. I am overwhelmed with what do I do if I have cancer, what treatments will I need, how painful will they be, will they be successful, how do we pay for them, etc. etc. etc. Yes I am going to find a therapist to help me deal with all this. Some tramadol would definitely be helpful, lol. This is all new to me and because of my TBI I automatically panic, lose control of my thoughts, my memory actually gets worse than it already is, lose my temper quickly, everything bothers me, I get overly emotional over everything , I cry all the time, even when there is no reason to. This forum is helping me get through this with all the information that would take hours of Google searches to find. Information that only somebody that has this type cancer would know. Personal experiences and sharing your emotions is priceless. I don't know any of you personally but feel like I do, I am grateful for every one of you for your help and support. Thank You!!!!!!!  Damn it I'm crying now. 

t519
Posts: 31
Joined: Jun 2021

I think you and I are in similar spots regarding waiting, and I understand the emotions. I am a single mom of a 14-year-old who doesn't have dad involved, and I keep trying to plan while also remaining hopeful either way. This forum helps to realize what people are doing to stay in good health post diagnosis, so it helps me to see their lives and interactions...as well as the information regarding treatments - which I find incredibly helpful.

I am sending good thoughts and tons of prayers your way. I understand regarding the insurance you can see with family in Europe. I work primarily with French teachers who are here for a period of time on a visa, and I always envy the afforable insurance provided. I do hope you will find a solution for each of the situations you are facing.

I am wishing every good thing for you. I feel what you are feeling and wish there was some way to help. Please know you remain in my thoughts.

 

BluebirdOne's picture
BluebirdOne
Posts: 475
Joined: Jul 2018

for the 1st 18 months. Still cry much easier today than before my dx. For me, it was a release, but I was 100% unable to control my emotions.  Nature's way of keeping you balanced, exhausted, embarrassed? I cried at the store, at the restaurant, at the doctor's, at the Christmas party! My husband was so kind and acceptedthe fact (because he is much more of a crier in real life than I ever was, but never in front of my kids). I can only speak for myself, but it was just as natural way to deal with my extreme anxiety as anything. I also was prescribed Ativan, which helped. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do us just give into it. Being able to let it all out at the most inappropriate times was all I could manage. 

xoxo Denise

cmb's picture
cmb
Posts: 751
Joined: Jan 2018

Unfortunately, you've missed the 8/15 deadline for enrolling in an (Obamacare)marketplace place insurance plan. This was a special extension to the normal signup period that happens in the fall. There are still some exceptions that enable people to enroll in a marketplace plan outside of the fall signup period, but these options are more limited. See https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage-outside-open-enrollment/special-enrollment-period/

But if your income qualifies, you can apply for Medicaid at any time of the year.

Getting advice from a financial advisor is a good step. That person may be able to suggest other options for you to consider.

Ideally you would get an insurance policy that covers the doctors/facilities that you be having treatment at, if you find that you do have cancer. So a "PPO" type plan is usually better than an "HMO" plan that typically limits providers. But the reality is that you may have to take what is available now, and think about changing during the open enrollment period later.

Of course, if you are 65 or older (I don't remember if you've said this before), Medicare is available with either a supplement plan or under a Medical Advantage plan.

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