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Family Member 6 Months Left To Live

MiraLand
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2020

 

My brother in law was diagnosed with brain cancer 15 months ago. A few months ago treatment seemed to work as the tumor shrunk. And then today the doctors said it grew significantly and estimated 6 months left to live. 

 

I am trying to be so strong for my wife because i know I need to be there for her. But this news has devastated me since the beginning. Especially after being somewhat hopeful after treatment seem to work, to do a complete 180 is gut wrenching. 

 

I have trouble sleeping and eating, and I can only imagine what she is going through. Normally if I’m going through a rough time I can lean on her and we will go through it together. But I feel I can’t do that now because I need to be there for her so I can help her get through this. 

 

Is it selfish feeling like I need help too? Do I bring it up to her? It feels like I won’t be enough of a rock because I’m so shaken by this devastating news.

 

What methods have you guys found to "stay strong"?

Ingleside
Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2020

I am sure there are much wiser and helpful sources of advice.  When I was diagnosed with brain cancer at 70 yrs old it was very scary not knowing what the outcome would be.  After a craniotomy, chemo and radiation it seems things have worked out for me.  I only have an inkling of what your brother in law, wife and you are going through.  Having children I learned what it is like to watch loved ones struggle while there seemed to be little I could do about it.  I learned that my wife needed to help me and to gracefully accept that help even though at times it made me feel like I was an invelid incapable of taking care of myself.  My two cents;    Honesty is the best policy.  Tell your wife exactly how you feel and try to figure out how you both can get through this trying time.  

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