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Dreams you'd given up because of cancer?

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Comments

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478
    edited May 2019 #32

    I think it's refreshingly

    I think it's refreshingly honest to discuss what life would have been without the cancer, for surely all who get it have pondered that question in a down moment. I can know the price of what I lost and still enjoy the things I can have. Retirement for Cindy and I was to have family rent the house [it was built with a "granny flat" that we'd live in], then we'd bounce around, travel, first in the motorhome, later the cruises and overseas trips, coming home when we wanted, doing as we pleased. Cancer took the savings, took her health for greater periods of time, took the social activities/circle we moved in, took my desire to bond with most folks in anything more than a casual way, took a decade of expanding business opportunities, and finally took the best thing to ever happen to me. The one thing it left me with was an enhanced ability to get more out of the littlest things in life, as that was what was left. And so I do, along with planning to do a more limited version of those old dreams, assuming nothing else ambushes my health or circumstance. What I will try not to do is presume beyond the very near future, as having expectations torn away is painful and depressing. Talking about it all is fine, feeling ripped off is certainly normal, dwelling on it would be unhealthy, but I expect we all know that....................................Dave

    Aw Dave, that's crappy. You

    Aw Dave, that's crappy. You make me think of my aunt and uncle. They spent their whole lives peparing for his retirement. They had travel plans and had bought an RV to go travelling in. They'd gne without some things so they could have their dream. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, she'd always been a heavy smoker, and was gone in a few months. This was within a year of him retiring. It's been almost 30 years and their house still looks the exact same as it did. He hasn't moved a stick of furniture. And he's so lonely, it's sad.

    Jan

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,173
    edited May 2019 #33
    JanJan63 said:

    Aw Dave, that's crappy. You

    Aw Dave, that's crappy. You make me think of my aunt and uncle. They spent their whole lives peparing for his retirement. They had travel plans and had bought an RV to go travelling in. They'd gne without some things so they could have their dream. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, she'd always been a heavy smoker, and was gone in a few months. This was within a year of him retiring. It's been almost 30 years and their house still looks the exact same as it did. He hasn't moved a stick of furniture. And he's so lonely, it's sad.

    Jan

    Sounds worse than it is, for

    Sounds worse than it is, for me anyway. I've changed many things in my house, I don't suffer loneliness, I want my life simple now. If I decide to pursue some kind of relationship, it would be with travel in mind. I'd gone many places on my own when I was younger, but I know that a shared experience is more meaningful, for me. I feel for your uncle, but you just can't freeze time and live in the past, that kind of life would really have no meaning for me, and even though I'm on the cynical side of things, I have to find some sense of purpose to propel me forward. The resilience you show is inspiring, the examples of the people on this blog, moving on and living with difficult conditions and circumstances, makes me ashamed not to try, and so I do........................................................Dave

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239
    Great post everyone!

    I was only 49 years old when I was diagnosed. Lived in a beautiful town, had an amazing wife and daughter, was productive and earned well. When I found out I had cancer I considered everything even not seeking treatment, but thank god I did and the wonderful nurses and doctors saved my life. 

    But I lost all faith in life and fairness. Did not know how to go on. My marriage fell apart shortly after I got better. 

    Somehow I found the way to get my drive back, bought a sailboat, found a new life partner, my kid is doing great, continued my great carrier despite my 15 inch scar, colostomy and terrible dietsry restrictions. Since then I have been to the Dominican Republic, Mexico, Europe, Chile, all around the US. Started a new business and do some amazing scientific theory writing.

    We have to realize that we have one chance at this life. It can be crazy, but we have to make the best of it. One day at a time.

    All the best!

    Laz

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478
    edited May 2019 #35
    lp1964 said:

    Great post everyone!

    I was only 49 years old when I was diagnosed. Lived in a beautiful town, had an amazing wife and daughter, was productive and earned well. When I found out I had cancer I considered everything even not seeking treatment, but thank god I did and the wonderful nurses and doctors saved my life. 

    But I lost all faith in life and fairness. Did not know how to go on. My marriage fell apart shortly after I got better. 

    Somehow I found the way to get my drive back, bought a sailboat, found a new life partner, my kid is doing great, continued my great carrier despite my 15 inch scar, colostomy and terrible dietsry restrictions. Since then I have been to the Dominican Republic, Mexico, Europe, Chile, all around the US. Started a new business and do some amazing scientific theory writing.

    We have to realize that we have one chance at this life. It can be crazy, but we have to make the best of it. One day at a time.

    All the best!

    Laz

    Laz, I'm glad you found

    Laz, I'm glad you found someone new. I remember when your marriage fell apart. I felt so badly for you. You're living life! Good for you!

    Jan

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,516
    edited May 2019 #36
    JanJan63 said:

    Laz, I'm glad you found

    Laz, I'm glad you found someone new. I remember when your marriage fell apart. I felt so badly for you. You're living life! Good for you!

    Jan

    Hi Laz

    I have had the pleasure of meeting Laz in person.  GREAT MAN!  So happy to see you pop back and share your story. 

    Tru

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,704
    edited May 2019 #37
    lp1964 said:

    Great post everyone!

    I was only 49 years old when I was diagnosed. Lived in a beautiful town, had an amazing wife and daughter, was productive and earned well. When I found out I had cancer I considered everything even not seeking treatment, but thank god I did and the wonderful nurses and doctors saved my life. 

    But I lost all faith in life and fairness. Did not know how to go on. My marriage fell apart shortly after I got better. 

    Somehow I found the way to get my drive back, bought a sailboat, found a new life partner, my kid is doing great, continued my great carrier despite my 15 inch scar, colostomy and terrible dietsry restrictions. Since then I have been to the Dominican Republic, Mexico, Europe, Chile, all around the US. Started a new business and do some amazing scientific theory writing.

    We have to realize that we have one chance at this life. It can be crazy, but we have to make the best of it. One day at a time.

    All the best!

    Laz

    Laz

    Wow great to see your post again.  It's been a long time, and I'm glad that you are doing so well.  Sounds like you have been very busy and that's great to hear.

    Kim