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82 condolences, so far

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5530
Joined: Jan 2013

My friend of 35 years has just passed away. He too had CRC.  The family have just posted the announement of his death on Facebook and he has 82 wonderful replies do far, saying what a wonderful man he was, and that is tremendous.

It did make me wonder though, why can't we, as a people, get into the habit of telling our friends and loved ones, how special they are TODAY. Do we have to wait until they are dead, for our feelings to be expressed?  

My personal belief is that my friend will be able see the Facebook page and read those thoughts, but what if thats not true? What if its just a fancy of mine. Wouldn't it have been wonderful for him to know how many people loved, admired, respected, looked up to him during his life? 

I am going to move forward with that in mind; letting those I know and love, and some that I don't know personally but still love (yeah, you are on here), know how much I appreciate them, love them, admire them. Their is enough beauty in lives that you don't have to make it repetetive. A simple thanks, hello my special friend, you look good today, I love how you do that....... The possibilites are endless. 

Let us spread the love and not wait to write about it when our friends are gone. 

Thanks for listening/reading. 

Tru

airborne72's picture
airborne72
Posts: 282
Joined: Sep 2012

I have often observed this and wondered the same thought.  Life is precious and we should learn to live in the moment, sharing feelings of love and endearement with others.

Thanks for the insight and reminder.  I need to increase this action in my life.

Jim

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

What a nice thought! It's good for you, too. One of thethings that I've been practicing since I was diagnosed with depression- at the suggestions of my doctor- is to wish other people well. I'm supposed to think about someone and in my mind sincerely wish them a long and happy life and to really focus on it. It can be anyone, even people I don't know like someone at the store or walking their dog. It helps me to keep positive thoughts and emotions in my mind. I think what you're suggesting would work the same way as well as be wonderful for the recipient.

Jan

Ruthmomto4's picture
Ruthmomto4
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2013

I must tell my family I love them a million times a day, and I try very hard to let others know how I feel about them. I know since we are friends on Facebook you know my Dad passed last year while I was on vacation in Disney. I couldn't get  back but I didn't and have never had any guilt over that because I knew he had no doubt how much I loved him. It's so important to tell the ones you love how you feel, you will never regret doing it, only not doing it.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6733
Joined: Feb 2009

Everyone during that time always gives their thoughts and prayers and many other wonderful things to say about the one that has passed.  It is wonderful for loved ones to look upon the one just deceased and look to see how many people signed the book, or sent flowers, or signed the funeral home's website page.  I'm sure it has more to do about sharing their thoughts at the moment and knowing that they were thought of and to let their family know that they were loved and they might not have been in contact with them for years, but send kind thoughts of as of that day.  Sure, I'd like to know that my cousin thought of me in the last year - but really doubt it.  I've got loved ones around me that really care and show me all the time - the other 82 will let my close loved ones know that when I'm gone Wink.

Kim

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5530
Joined: Jan 2013

 

 group hugging emoticon

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6733
Joined: Feb 2009

I'm all for a group hug.  These people on this board have shown me so much love and compassion for me throughout the years that this has become my other family - ones I've never hugged but have given me hugs through their thoughts and words.  Group hug is here.

Hugs!  Kim

Lily Flower's picture
Lily Flower
Posts: 254
Joined: Jul 2017

Yes! {{{Group hug}}} to us from us!

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 305
Joined: Jun 2017

  Beyond getting cancer this year I lost both of my parents.  My dad passed in February and mother in Sept.  When my siblings and I went out there we reminisced about the good times and some of the bad from living in the town we grew up in.  I learned quite a bit about why my parents did what they did back then and it was for our own good it turns out.  In our family we grew apart over the years but have since decided to put an end to the distance as an excuse for lack of communication.  We're going to have a reunion next year at an amusment park we went to as children.  Sometimes a funeral can bring out the best in people and it's what happened to us.  My mom's last wish was for all of us to be there in her last moments and we did. She went knowing that we've all gotten better.   

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5530
Joined: Jan 2013

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of both parents in the same year. But, I am happy to hear that the loss has drawn you closer to your family (I did type siblings, and then realized that is not how you worded your post).

They say you can chose your freinds and not your family, but that doesn't diminish blood ties. I have no blood ties, being adopted, and my adopted brother and I comminicate very litte (granted, he is in England and I in the U.S. of A). Anyway, I miss the connection, regardless. 

May you have happy memories of Christmas past with your family, and make happy memoreis with those around you now. 

Tru

Lily Flower's picture
Lily Flower
Posts: 254
Joined: Jul 2017

I'm so sorry to hear the passing of both of your parents in the same year. My sincere condolences to you and your family!

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 305
Joined: Jun 2017

  I appreciate the thoughts Trubrit and Lily.  It's been a bang up year but it looks like it's ending on several positive notes.  The funny thing is, the more I'm talking to my brothers and sister the more I realize none of us have changed much since we were about 5 or 6.  We all still have the same basic personality.  About the only thing that has is we've all adopted a little more tolerance to the differences.  I just roll my eyes now.

Dave 

CathC
Posts: 17
Joined: Sep 2017

I‘m so sorry to hear of the passing of your friend. I completely agree and just want to say that your responses and comments have given me great relief and have motivated me to keep going, staying positive, appreciating the now and realising how precious each day is. Sending you all the warmest wishes for a peaceful Christmas  Cathy x

 

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