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I'm 18 and I just lost my mom

Posts: 11
Joined: May 2010

My mom was diagnosed with Stage Four mestastic breast cancer three and a half years ago. The cancer has spread to the bone. Unfortunately, my mom had rarely gone to the doctor for many years. Looking back, I wish I would have insisted on her getting check ups. Anyways, my mom had a wonderful outlook and was extremely optimistic throughout her cancer struggle. She was a strong Christian and believed that God was going to heal her cancer. Her optimsism was contagious and I also thought she would be healed. At such a young age, it was too hard to consider that I might lose my mom.

In my family, I was closest to my mom. My sister is similar to my dad, and I am similar to my mom. I recently went to college five hours away from home, but I still called and skyped many times throughout the week. I also came home and visited on many occasions. My mom seemed like she was still pretty good. Although, looking back, I can see how it was harder for her to get up sometimes and she was walking slower..but at the time, I thought it was arthritis or something.

Then, early February...my mom got this intense pain and was unable to walk...The cancer had worsened. She was hospitalized for the first time since I can remember. That is when it hit me that my mom legitimately had cancer. I came home from school when I heard she was in the hospital. For the past three months, she was in and out of hospitals. Then, a little over a week ago, she was put in ICU and was intubated because she was having difficulty breathing...Since she was unable to move, there were so many fluids on her lungs, plus some cancer may have spread to her lungs....I was in the hospital for 10 hours a day for the duration of her stay in ICU...The doctor said it didn't look good....It was by far the worst week of my life. She passed away early Thursday morning.

I just feel so sad, and so empty. I never knew who sad I could feel. I am only 18 and I need my mom..It is just hitting me, that she is going to open my bedroom door to tell me something small anymore....She won't sing in the morning..She won't physically be at my wedding....I hate being at my house because there are memories all over...I have so many wonderful friends...but it is still so hard. I am not close to many family members...and this is so hard.

I am comforted that I know my mom is out of pain, and that she is in Heaven. But, I am 18 and i just miss my mom so unbelievably much.

I would appreciate any support.

Posts: 50
Joined: May 2007

I am sorry for your loss. It can truly be life altering to lose a parent at such a young age especially to cancer. I was totally devastated when my Dad died when I was 20 years old. In time, you get passed the grief and allow the memories to sustain you in your loss.As a young adult just starting out, it must be even harder to lose a mother. I hope that you have other family members to support you or perhaps a mentor that you respect as a person to talk to about things. I have found that the ability to talk about our loved one and share things about them with others helps with the grief. Over time it hurts less to remember and brings joy instead of sorrow.
Hugs and Prayers

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother last year to Stage IV uterine cancer. It was a shock. Like you, I can't believe she's gone. I still wait for the phone to ring every Saturday to hear her voice. I still imagine that she's sitting in her LR watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. She never missed a show. She had great faith as well and it was unshakable to the end. It's been a very difficult year of firsts. First Thanksgiving and xmas, Her bday, Easter and Mother's Day without her. I am much older than you (48) and still struggling. It's never easy to lose our moms. I'm also dealing with other issues.. guilt, why didn't we push her to get a second opinion, her dr kept telling her the pains were arthritis (they weren't) She has a little cough, he told her it was "Age related asthma" and she had lost some weight (the year before she had hernia surgery and they blamed her lack of appetite on the hernia pushing on her stomach. Her appetite never really came back after that. In short, I believe she was a victim of medical negligence and that compounds my grief. Please hang in there and know you are not alone It's going to take time but you will be okay. You never know how strong you are until you have to be strong. Please know the things you are feeling are very normal. Give yourself time to grieve. Good luck and Hugs,

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry that you lost your mother at such a young age. There are others on this board who have been through this and I will leave it to them to offer their thoughts on how to move forward. I just wanted to let you know that I am here and very sorry. Take care, Fay

IsabelSierra's picture
Posts: 40
Joined: Apr 2010

im 19 and i cant even bare the thought of loosing my mom, yes we are young and we still need them soo much, u never dont need your mom for one thing or another she is needed but your mom is with u not physically but her spirit will be with you, you can talk to her she'll listen!
She wont leave u alone, stay strong i know no one will be able to really deeply understand exactly how you feel but we can be here for support and to hear you out!
youre not alone, school will be a distraction for u!
i dropped out of school, the depression was too much, i regret it now but i will go back for the next semester!
You will get thru this not alone with all your friends support dont be afraid to cry! It heals your heart.
Stay strong!
Come here when youre feeling down, we'll be glad to be a "shoulder u can cry on" or just talk to!



Posts: 34
Joined: Apr 2010

I am so sorry. I lost my mom on May 8th and I although just a bit older than you..still feel the same. I not only lost a parent but my best friend and biggest supporter. Not to mention my last parent which just makes me feel like I have lost all my famiy memories.

I really wish I had more words of support for you but I am struggling as well. I am trying to focus on what we shared instead of what she will miss but it is very difficult.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Posts: 3
Joined: Nov 2009

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father not to cancer but diabetes heart attack when I was 19 (i'm now 28 and im a cancer survivor)

The pain of losing a parent will never get easier. But in time you learn to be able to cope with it better. Now I am able to talk about him more and remember the good times. It is still hard at times, I watched a home movie the other day and broke down. I talk to him alot. When I really need some help, guidance or just someone to talk to.

You took the first time being comforted that you mom is not in pain and more and in heaven. Its going to take time. I dont know your relationship with your sister maybe its time to reach out and see if you can be there for one another. If not a close friend, cousin? Its good to have someone to talk to our just call.

Just know she will always be looking down on you, dont forget to talk to her. She may be in heaven but she is still listening. If you have to cry, cry.

I'm always here if you need anything

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

I recently lost my mother to cancer (two weeks ago).
She had a rare type of ovarian cancer and due to her age (senior) her prognosis was not good.

The symptoms of this type of cancer we were told sneak up on an individual, and before the person knows it, the cancer has often spread at an alarming rate. It was a very aggressive cancer.

My mother and I were in the hospital for 3 weeks. I was with her day and night, never leaving her side. She was very strong and dignified - the same as your mother was. I am sure of it.

I was extremely close to my mother. Losing her hurts more than anything I've ever experienced. But I know that my mom (as yours) wanted me to remain strong and to live my life to its fullest potential. It is now your duty to fulfill your mother's wishes. It is representing as best you can the legacy she leaves behind to you.

I too am comforted that my mother is no longer in pain. No doubt, she's in a much better place, just as your mother is.

There is not one thing someone can say that will make my or your pain go away. You and I need to remain strong and move forward to honor their legacy and memory.


Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2010

Oh honey, I am so sorry. My mom was a very strong Christian and never wore the title "cancer" which it seems like your mom did the same. My mom was diagnosed when I was 13 years old and fought it for 10 years. When she passed I was newly married was 5 months pregnant. It was extremely hard, and is still extremely hard to this day. I have just started going to a counciler which I wish I started a long time ago, you may want to look into it.

Please grieve and don't go into denial as I did, it will only get worse. I have started a memory book of my mom to give to my daughter when she is older, and I suggest you do the same. Ask everyperson that knew her. It doesn't matter how long, because each person will have a different perspective of her, and ask them to write their favorite memory of her. and then when you get a lot together put it in a scrap book and add some pictures, and whenever you get sad, read them. It will show you that the time your mother was here on earth was a blessing and she helped so many people.

If you ever want to talk please let me know and I can give you my email. We were both young in age losing our best friend (mom) and I could use the support as well as you can too.

God Bless!

Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

I'm so sorry to hear your mom passed away. It's hard to loose your mom, but it's harder when you are young. Her spirit will always be with you. Take time to grieve, but remember your mom wants you to live your life, and be happy.

Posts: 4
Joined: Feb 2010

I am currently watching my mother die. I am 22 years old and just graduated from college 4 days ago.

I have so many different emotions that its very difficult to sort through them all. This all happened so fast. In February, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Melanoma when she went in to have a benign lump removed in her lung. She had a small melanoma spot on her right arm more than 3 years ago, which was removed fine without any trouble. (I have learned throughout this that <5% of melanoma can enter the blood and lay dormant in there for up to 15 years - this is clearly what happened to my mom, only it appeared much sooner). She entered into a trial in March with a very successful and well-respected melanoma specialist, and underwent 4 weeks of extremely powerful treatment (Interfeuron), but just three weeks ago, we learned from the scans that the cancer had only spread. Now it wasn't just in her pleura, but her lung, stomach, and parts of her liver. The doctors told us it was terminal, and she had anywhere from 6 months to a year to live.

Just yesterday, the doctor came over and we have decided to put her on hospice. She likely has a month.

I am in shock and so much pain to see how fast this has all happened. The cancer has physically eaten my mother away and I barely recognize her. On top of everything, my mom (a very young and hitherto healthy woman) was diagnosed with early onset alzheimer's before any of this cancer appeared -- and the disease and all the medicine has just enhanced that condition tenfold. I not only have to deal with a physically ill mother, but a mother whose mind is gone too. It's like the Notebook, only worse because there is the pain and the suffering that she is dealing with. She can barely speak and is often delusional, but there are those special moments when she will look at me, take her hand to my face, and whisper "I love you". That is all I really have right now. I have no idea how much longer she will be around, but I can't imagine she'll live to make July.

I am lucky to have a strong father and two incredibly close sisters to experience this with and to help me cope, as well as a loving boyfriend....but sometimes none of it is enough. I am not terribly religious, but I have turned to books like Conversations with God to try to make sense of how something so terrible and ugly could happen to someone so beautiful and strong.

I am without question closest to my mother, and always have been. I looked almost identical to her at my age. I can even begin to imagine life without her in our closeknit family. All she wanted was to be a grandmother, and now she'll never get to do that or even see me marry.

To all of you who have gone through this process already, I have respect and empathy for you and I feel close to you in a way despite having no real idea of who you are.

Any words of encouragement or advice during this difficult time would mean the world.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry. There really are no words that can make this hurt any less. Hold close to your family. It sounds like you are all incredibly brave. Just know that I am thinking of you and will say a prayer for all of you even if you aren't very religious. Take care. Fay

Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2010


I found your post in answer to the other young womans post. This is so sad, I too have two daughters 18 and 23 they are both away at college.

I don't know what to say. I know your Mother loves you so much and is proud of you and I feel that when a person passes they are still with us. I really feel that. I hope that doesn't upset you but gives you comfort.

With this now, you are quite a different young woman than when you left for college, and I am really saddened at how bittersweet this must be for you. My heart really goes out to you.

Live your life with all the memories of your Mom, think of her, because I feel she will be watching you from heaven.


Posts: 395
Joined: Jun 2010

Ohh, this breaks my heart! I have two daughters also, 18 & 19. They are truly my greatest loves. If cancer should take me, I just hope I tell them often enough.Do everything possible to help yourself overccome! Your mother is so proud and loves you so very much! God bless you and heal you and comfort you...Love Alison

Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2010

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mother in March 2009 to colon cancer. The first day waking up with out her in my life was the hardest. Then the first week, then the first month...now I am past the first year, and even though I am in constant pain, I still feed sad and empty, and I miss her.

I hope you are able to find comfort in friends or family in the near future. I was 7 months pregnant when my mother died, and now I have a 13 month old baby girl. I feel like I never had the time to grieve, but staying busy with my daughter has helped me. I hope you can find an outlet that makes me you very happy, and allows your heart some time to heal each and every day. Your mother would have wanted you to be good to yourself.

Much love,

dixiegirl's picture
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

I am sorry to hear this also. I lost my mom to breast/lung/liver cancer at 15. I know exactly what you are talking about. It was just my mom and I for several years before and there are no words to describe the anger and fear. I too wanted my mom to be at my wedding and the birth of my kids. I lost the only child I was given and cannot tell you how hard it was.

Now 26 years later, I am fighting this monster. I will not give up and please know that you will heal with time. Just know that you will always have her close to you.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you come here often. Take care sweetie.


Posts: 5
Joined: Jul 2010

How are you doing EKIDD2? It's been 2mos since you posted about losing your mom. I hope you are hanging in there! My situation is different, I was the mom with cancer. The first time I was diagnosed I was 32, and my daughters were 5 &7. They didnt understand Cancer, or why mom's boob was gone. I had cancer 2 more times since then.
They are in counseling, and they raise money and do the walks for cancer. They give strength to others you are having a hard time.
Maybe this would work for you too?! Could you help others going through what you went through? Could you talk with other teens about what happened when you found out teh diagnosis, what it was like to see the tubes and machines and hospital stays...
You could gain inner strength by helping others. I truly think that is what has helped my daughters.
Good luck to you, and always ask for support when you need it.. we all need it at times, and this is a big time for you. Dont struggle through it alone, that doesnt help anyone and only prolongs your grief...
Hamg in there and know you are truly being watched by your mom...so be good:)

Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi, I just read your post and I am so upset now. I have a daughter who just turned 18 also, in April. I have been sick with one cancer, and a new one. But I think they took care of them early enough, and I have heart problem.

I have seen my daughter watch me during all of this, and I think she may be going through what you did. I have another daughter who is 23 now. They are both at college.

Your Mom would not want you sad. If she is anything like me, she wouldn't have wanted to let you know how bad it was. She wouldn't have wanted it affecting your life, she would have wanted you to enjoy being 15, 16, 17 and 18. She would have wanted you to be a young woman and have those memories of laughter fun growing love and so much more.

The last thing she would want is for you to feel such sadness, she loves you still. I know she is watching over you, she is still there.

Right now it is hard for you to be at home, in time you may find that being at home will bring you comfort. You may find you will be comforted laying on your bed in your room thinking about how when you were younger she would open the door and say something like, is your homework done, why aren't those dishes put away, what time are you meeting your friends? And you will one day look back on each little thing, each memory and it will bring the warmth of love to your heart. But now, you are very close to that pain and now is not the time for that.

Take care dear one and know she would not want your heart broken, she loves you.

Please stay on this site and I hope you find comfort.

If this had happened to me while my daughters were away at college I would be so thankful they reached out and told others on this site how they felt. This reaching out and letting us talk to you is a way maybe your other is still in touch with you.

Have a beautiful day, your Mom would want you to, go find love and joy that is what she wants for you.


Posts: 11
Joined: May 2010

Thanks for taking the time to write this post. It's nice to talk to some mothers because it gives me a glimpse into what my mom would have wanted. Even though my mom was getting sick, she had such a positive outlook so she never expressed that she thought she wasn't going to make it. So, we never actually talked about the possibility of her dying.

So, I'm just left with thinking about what she would have wanted...which is hard because since the grief is still so recent, I'm just thinking about how much I want my mom. There's so much I still want to learn from her...but I can't. There's so many conversations that I still want to have...so many that we couldn't have before because I didn't realize HOW MUCH she did for me. I just miss having that person in the world who knows the most about me and cares the most about me.

I guess I am glad I never knew quite how bad it was...I had a pretty normal 15, 16, 17, and 18 years of life...which I am so grateful for, I'm not sure if I could have handled something happening to her earlier on. At least I was graduated and starting college.

I get sad because my mom had such a passion for living...there was so much more she wanted to do. It's hard to accept she won't be able to do those things.

I really hope to be comforted by the thoughts of her eventually...right now, it's just so sad.

Thanks so much for the warm thoughts. It means alot.


Lydia P
Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2010

It is a terrible feeling losing a parent. I am 22 and just lost my mom 2 months ago to metastatic breast cancer. My mom was also very peaceful and optimistic and she had an amazingly strong christian faith. She also believed that she would be healed by God and I came to realize even before she died that even if she wasn't healed miraculously it didn't mean that she wasn't being blessed. I honestly believe that she is better off that we all are, she is with God in a place where she is at complete peace. Although I believe these things, it is still so hard, I am having a lot of problems dealing with her death and I know I have along way to go. I also am not close to many family members and I am an only child, so if you want to talk let me know.

Just think of your mom and what she would want you to do. I am sure she would want you to be strong. Experiencing fear, anger, and sadness is all apart of the process but it is being able to move past these feelings to find peace. I am no expert, but these are the things that I am trying to do to cope with my mothers death.

Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2010

hi, im truly sorry for your loss,

im 18 as well and lost my mother feb 7th 2010 to colon cancer. there really arent even words to describe everything you go through and feel during the whole process. Everyday was a struggle, the cancer completely overtook my mom. at the end she was unrecognizable to the once strong beautiful woman she had only months before been. I dont think anyone can understand the kind of pain and hurt you feel unless they've been in the same situation. for me one of the hardest parts is having to watch my father go through this. although he is not alone, and has a lot of support, he is still in a lot of pain. he lost his wife, his partner, his best friend. it's been a little over six months since her passing, and things have changed, some things have gotten better. the healing process is a long road though. I would never have been able to make it as far as I have without my friends and family and honestly reading things like these help me to know im not alone. there are other people out there going through the same thing as me! It does get better, slowly but surely. the pain of losing your mother never goes away, but it does get better. its encouraging to read all the positive messages that people make it through, time does heal.

Best of luck, God be with you, stay strong!!


Posts: 11
Joined: May 2010

Hi Sarah!

I've been having a really difficult time lately. It's been almost six months, and I've been finding that these past few weeks have been some of the toughest...I have been sad and crying alot. I dream about her painful last week in the hospital while she was intubated. For my mom, the cancer also overtook her. I'm not sure how to get those thoughts out of my head. I think about how a year ago, I was counting down the days until my 6 week break of college for winter. It's just so sad now to think about how my mom is gone...I'll never be able to talk to her again...while on Earth at least. It's just so sad. I know you understand since you also lost your mom. :-( No one prepares you for pain of losing your mom.

It does help me reading that other 18 year olds are going through this as well...Most of my friends still have their moms, and it's hard for me when they talk about their moms.

It is encouraging to read others' stories about how they were able to still live a full life after they lost their mom. Since right now, things feel so sad.

God be with you too! Thanks for the support!


Vicky DeRosia
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2010

I am so sorry to hear that your mom has lost her battle.I will keep you in my prayers.I firmly beleive that your mom will always be with you and when you have those special events in your life she will be cheering you on from above. She is never really going to leave you.It sounds has if you had a wonderful relationship cling to that and remember the love you had for each other.On the days you think you just can't make it without her say out loud okay mom be with me today and she will be she will be,she will be in your heart and,and be there in spirit.If you need to talk cry or laugh I will be here too.Just post.

Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2010

First off I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, I also lost my mom when I was 19. This is the hardest time of our lives, when we need our moms the most. I was taken back when I read your story because it is almost identical to mine. I too am a christian and never thought that my mom was going to die, I always thought God was going to heal her. My mom passed away almost 15 years ago and I will not tell you it easier because it doesnt. I do things like the breast cancer races it makes me feel close to her and also I have been a guest speaker for breast cancer. I didnt think about it and when I did I was so angry and I would see mothers and daughters and just cry. When I finally delt with it and got it out and talked about it I felt the healing begin. So my advise to you is dont hold it in, let it out. I was mad at God and I told him that and I asked him to heal my heart and use me to help others who are going through the same thing because no one understands unless they have lost their mom. We also both know that we will see our mothers again in Heaven and spend eternity with them. I am here for you if need to talk.

Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2010

Hey, I'm 17 and just recently lost my mom to cancer too. I can understand what you're going through. We're basically in the same stage of life. if you ever need anyone to talk to that can relate to you, message me and i can give you my email :)

Posts: 18
Joined: May 2010

Hey, I'm 18 too, and in NOvember of 2010, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV ovarian cancer.

After any surgeries and rounds of chemo, the Dr. said last night that she had a few weeks or month to live.

She has the most positive outlook on life, as it sounds your mom did too. This last year has been incredibly hard on me, and I don't know what I'll do when the end comes.

I thought we could talk, since our situation seem to be so similar.

I haven't stopped crying in the last few days.

I live my dad and handicapped brother. I'm very concerned about both of them, I don't know how they're going to cope.

I know it's not over, and I haven't given up hope, but it certaintly isn't good.

Keep your head up, and stay positive.


Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 2010

I was 19 on December 17, 1987 when I watched my Mom die of breast cancer. The grief this year hit me more than some in the past. I think due to my Dad's health depleating not from cancer but diabeties. I do feel my Mom has been involved in my life since her loss. Particularly in finding my wife who has been the rock of support in my life for 20 years. Continue to keep those that support you close. Know that your Mom is still there involved in your life. I try to refresh the good memories of Mom from time to time through the years to keep them with me.

Take care and your Mom's love will always be with you.

bluerose's picture
Posts: 1112
Joined: Jul 2009

I am so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing and one thing you said struck a chord with me and prompted me to write to you.

You were saying that you were feeling so sad because you would not hear your Mom singing in the morning anymore or opening the door to tell you something small or be at your wedding but I think you will hear all of those things and feel her at your wedding because you have memories of her doing all of that and those cannot ever fade.

When you feel sad just think of her singing in the morning and you will here it in your mind, you will remember days when she popped her head into your room and said 'time to get up' and at your wedding I would bet anything you will feel her presense. I know that there are times when I can almost hear my Mom's voice talking about this or that or saying some phrase she was well known for because I have the memories of it all. My Mom died about 8 years ago now I guess, not of cancer, just kind of wore out with old age but it was a complete shock to me as I lived far away so I wasn't there when she died. We lived far apart most of my young adult years so we talked on the phone all the time, everyday.

I know you are sad and that is perfectly normal for the short time you have been dealing with her passing. Being so young you were probably in some denial at her health situation as alot of young people are, or even older people in fact, but I think we do that to protect ourselves from the shock of what we are being told - your Mom is very sick. We can't fathom being without our Moms, so you aren't alone in how you feel.

Please use this board often to talk about how you are feeling and many on here will be happy to help you as they have been through so much too with cancer.

Over time you will feel differently but I personally believe your Mom will always be with you, watching to make sure you are okay and taking pride in all of the accomplishments you will undoubtedly make in your life. You will feel her there, of that I am sure.

I am a 23 year survivor of non hodgkins lymphoma.

One day at a time, and if you want to talk to someone who deals with grief situatuions in your community that might not be a bad idea plus visiting this site as well. We all need some guidance professionally now and then with it all and at 18 there are so many changes you are going through as it is. You have alot on your plate - don't be afraid to seek help from a good grief counsellor too -your doctor will have name so freputable counsellors who can really guide you through.

Keep writing and asking questions, keeping us posted on how you are doing.


Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 2011

on those bad days and nights try to remember good times, happy memories. my dad died when i was 13 and i used to have nightmares for months. i would sleep, dream and he would be alive again then when i woke up i would have to face him being gone all over. keep busy, don't stop living, you have to and as awful as it sounds coming from someone else, time is the only thing that takes the edge off. i just remembered something too that i used to do to help me feel better. i used to pull out the old photo albums and go over them sometimes for a couple of hours just remembering and smiling. if i could take your pain away i would but nobody can and there aren't really any words anybody can say that will make it all better. hard as it is just keep active and busy it helps a little. mike

Posts: 11
Joined: May 2010

Thank you everyone for your encouraging and comforting words! They all mean so much to me...especially on those bad days.

I haven't checked this in a few months, but I would love to start checking this more frequently as it is a huge source of comfort.

I have been working to try to remember the good memories and focus on them...It's hard to not wallow in the pain though....but most days have been better recently. I am starting to learn to live with the pain. I am realizing this will be a daily struggle from here on out.

I absolutely love those poems- a wonderful reminder that my mom lived...As one person mentioned she did, I plan to make a scrapbook in memory of my mom. Full of pictures and memories. I think it will be therapeutic to make and I want my future husband and children to be able to look at the scrapbook.

For those who are also recently facing a parental loss...I would love to email and talk with you...I find so much comfort in talking about my grief and sharing my grief with those who have experienced a similar loss. My email is ekidd31@yahoo.com Feel free to email me.

Thanks again for all the kind words that I do take to heart.

God Bless!


Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2011

im also 18 years old and my mum has cancer and it spread all over her body and she is so sick and ill , i cant believe that happend to her and she is now in a hospice and she is getting worst by the day and it hurts me so much to see her in pain and knowing that one of the days im gonna get a phone call that says i lost my mum and i believe in god and we all pray that a miracle can happen or that she can be around for a little longer,i hate it when people suffer like this at times i ask my self why does god make her suffer like this,if he wants to take them why dont he do it in a way that they dont have to suffer because like this we cant helo her all we can do is watch n look at her and i feel all the cancer people sorry in the world and pray to god that they find a cure so in future we can hell the cancer people.....please pray for my mum people i realy hope she can get better

Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

I am so deeply sorry for your loss and this is by far unfair. I am much older than you but my mom has bone metastasis from Thyroid cancer so I can relate to the pain and suffering you saw in your mom. Your mom sounded like an amazing person and she is your guardian angel now watching over you. I wish you the absolute best and one advice I can give from personal experience, is to be around people that love and truly care about you. Some times, people in the immediate family tend to bring you down to make themselves feel better so be around friends and the family that helps you completely. This site is also a wonderful support group. God bless you.

Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2016

I am 18 and i just lost my mother two weeks ago, to breast cancer. She had been fighting for 16 years and it was just this thing she had. She tried not to let it affect my life but you know, it does. Everything was okay until mid January when she became paralyzed from the t4 down. It was a roller coaster so many ups and downs and I am in College. So I tried to distance myself from it... I shouldn't have done that. I regret it. I wish I was there for her. Anyways she ended up coming home on hospice and after a while things just became normalish... So after fibals, my family went on a road trip from Texas to Colorado to South Dakota to see my rushmore, it was supposed to go on all the way to Washington then Rowan the coast and come back to Texas. But we didn't make it. Mom was having a really hard time breathing and anxiety and we everything that could go wrong went wrong tensions were high... My grandmother(moms mom) and I have a real hard time getting along. So we came home. A few days later dad had to go to back to work ( in california) or we would lose our insurance. So sad leaves and two days later mom passed. Dad comes back home, my family doesn't really, well let's just say we don't talk about feelings. Mom and I did that. She was the only one I talked to. Do we did a little gathering and got her ashes, we will be spreading them on various beaches. But then life continues i am in summer classes at college an hour and half away and dad is in california. You know I have stuff I need to do and life doesn't stop... I guess I am just trying to avoid it. How did you move on? Why does this just consume you?  I am a very private person with my emotions and everyone asks how things are and you know you just say your ok and things go on. But really they're not. I hate the look of sympathy everyone gives you you know? My mom died in the 25 of May and my birthday is on June 25. I hate that she will miss all of the great things to come: college graduation, Air Force Commisioning, getting married, having kids.... Everything that she would be so proud of and that other people can share with their mom I can't she doesn't get to see me live like she wanted to she doesn't get to be that proud momma. Why does this suck so bad. I'd give anything for just a real hug where she can stand up and fully hug. I can't even remember what that's like...  How did you handle this and college and all the stress and pressure? 

I am sorry you lost your Mom and I honestly wish I could do something for you but the truth is I can't. I hope you are doing great things and are changing the world. 

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