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Checking In - Hoping Uncle Ned Has Time for Me

todd121's picture
todd121
Posts: 1449
Joined: Dec 2012

Is this uncle Ned stuff getting old yet? Lol.

My quarterly scans coming up on Monday. Won't get a result until the following Monday. Would love uncle Ned to stop by. I'm glad he can be in multiple places at once!

Something strange has happened since my last scans and this one. I've actually stopped worrying and obsessing about my cancer/possibility of having cancer/cancer returning, etc. I don't know why, but I'm very grateful for that. I have this odd feeling that it's gone (the obsession) and even if stuff shows up on my scans, I'm going to be ok with whatever it is.

I've been feeling better. I've been doing some exercise. I'm still way heavier than I want to be and I'm pretty sure when I don't feel well, it's because of this extra weight I'm carrying around. I've been trying to do something about this, but not having a lot of success. Still, I'm optimistic.

Back to this obsession and worry being lifted...I didn't think it would ever be gone. I'm just to glad that it is.

I'm not on here too often. Still drop by now and then and read. Rarely post, but I try to if I feel I have something to add.

Briefly, here's my history. My 6.9 cm tumor was found in November/December of 2012. Wow. I think that's when it was 3 1/2 years ago. I had a radical nephrectomy the week before my 51st birthday. I was Stage 3, Grade 3 (no other tumors). I did a year long drug trial at City of Hope for everolimus vs placebo as an adjuvant therapy (turns out I was on the placebo). A year after I finished the trial, they found a tumor in my right adrenal gland (the surgeon had left it for me). That moved me to Stage 4, but NED again after my right adrenalectomy. So far my scans have been NED. 1 1/2 years so far. Hoping for another good scan next week. But if it's not, I'm ready for whatever comes my way.

Much more aware after all of this what is important and not important and how I can choose my attitude no matter what my circumstance, and where I want to live is in gratitude, not anger, fear or resentment. I hope my obsession/compulsion with fear continues to be lifted. Even if it's not, I hope I remember not to let it control me. I think I'm a better person after cancer.

Wishing you all good health. If that doesn't pan out (none of us get good health forever), then peace and contentment in the face of bad health. I hope you know what I mean! I wish you well whatever your condition.

Todd

hardo718's picture
hardo718
Posts: 853
Joined: Jan 2016

And seems you have found the ultimate (my opinion), that is how to make peace with it all.  Please share if you figure it out, how did you achieve this accomplishment?

Here's hoping NED pays you a nice long visit as well.

Donna~

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3336
Joined: Jan 2010

Todd,

 

I hear Uncle Ned is stopping by thw West Coast after seeing Jojo and Dave  in Canada.

 

Icemantoo

 

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1998
Joined: Mar 2014

"Is this uncle Ned stuff getting old yet? Lol." No, it will never get old; hopefully he'll continue boring us to tears for many years to come :) So glad you're finding peace of mind and wishing you the very best scan results and another visit from everyone's favorite relative! Hugs xo

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 952
Joined: Nov 2014

Wishing you good luck with your scans!

And so glad you are more relaxed about the whole thing. As a person with health anxiety I sometimes think hat being healthy but constanly obsessing about health is worse than having cancer in the  past...

daisybud's picture
daisybud
Posts: 509
Joined: Jan 2016

Wishing you the very best in your up coming scan.

Kim

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1327
Joined: Oct 2013

What an attitude! I admire you and your posts, Todd. Seems you ARE taking control by not allowing fear to rule your life, or the what-ifs.

Hope things go the way they are supposed to and that you can handle all news with that same attitude of courage and hope.

Hugs to you,

Jan

Airie
Posts: 45
Joined: Mar 2016

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. So agree with staying grounded in gratitude and acceptance whatever the outcome. Please keep us updated!

Cherie

JerzyGrrl's picture
JerzyGrrl
Posts: 761
Joined: Jun 2016

Definitely the Uncle Ned stuff isn't getting old.  It's pretty neat that a bunch of folks here are related to Uncle Ned.  That means it's a big family.  I'm looking forward to having him visit one of these days, too (That means I'm not an only child after all). 

Looking forward to hearing how you (and he) are doing,

Jerzy

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