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Moli updating.

24

Comments

  • molimoli said:

    Thank you all

    for your concern and good wishes. I must say" SORRY" out loud for not posting to inform you all that I wouldnt be having surgery as planned on the 6th. The assisting surgeon could not do that date after something unforseen came up for him.. I was so disappointed that when I was notified I immediately booked a flight out and left on the 22nd of December for a brain calming  vacation,  I tried to  post on the  board to notify you all on the 4th but could not get my cell phone to properly function  as I was trying to use wifi as no internet was available.My attempts failed. I returned home late last night so just now got the chance to send my apology.

    On the 11th I will get a new scan as per. the surgeon , to give him a current view, then upon the assisting Dr's return a new date will be set . I enjoyed my trip so much that I secretly thanked  my creator for the reprieve  unintentionally given by the absconding surgeon.  I was offered a back up surgeon for the 6th  but I declined.

    My surgeon  advised me to plan a trip and go somewhere with distractions from the surgery so I did just that. He assured me that the delay will not cause any problems .

    I didn't do my planned christmas shibang at home as I am fully packed and didn't yet move , and would be too overworked, so I took an unearned vacation from doing nothing,Is it only me that has gotten lazy and actually identify it as plain lazy hiding out as cancer's effect?   It is not fatigue at all, it is laziness intensified  and I am unashamedly loving it.

    I hope you all will have a cancer free or cancer controlled year, keep the faith and stay positive despite the journey.Thanks for remembering your prodigal sister.

    I have managed to stay very well , No noticed side effects of these tumors,no felt sickness of any kind, I am determined not to be concerned about what is going on inside of me , Not in my control so won't rent space in my head pondering.

    I am hugging,Nuff love, Moli. 

     

     

    Hi Moli

    I have to remind myself of your sentence, not in my control, or I let my mind wander.  Actually, I was going through my jewelry today trying to figure out what to hang around my neck to distract people from the white elephant head above, when I saw my serenity bracelet that I bought after my husband died.  I will wear it daily just to remind me not to worry about things I can't control.  You sound like you've got it together.  Lots of wishes for the days to follow.  Nancy

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,059
    molimoli said:

    Thank you all

    for your concern and good wishes. I must say" SORRY" out loud for not posting to inform you all that I wouldnt be having surgery as planned on the 6th. The assisting surgeon could not do that date after something unforseen came up for him.. I was so disappointed that when I was notified I immediately booked a flight out and left on the 22nd of December for a brain calming  vacation,  I tried to  post on the  board to notify you all on the 4th but could not get my cell phone to properly function  as I was trying to use wifi as no internet was available.My attempts failed. I returned home late last night so just now got the chance to send my apology.

    On the 11th I will get a new scan as per. the surgeon , to give him a current view, then upon the assisting Dr's return a new date will be set . I enjoyed my trip so much that I secretly thanked  my creator for the reprieve  unintentionally given by the absconding surgeon.  I was offered a back up surgeon for the 6th  but I declined.

    My surgeon  advised me to plan a trip and go somewhere with distractions from the surgery so I did just that. He assured me that the delay will not cause any problems .

    I didn't do my planned christmas shibang at home as I am fully packed and didn't yet move , and would be too overworked, so I took an unearned vacation from doing nothing,Is it only me that has gotten lazy and actually identify it as plain lazy hiding out as cancer's effect?   It is not fatigue at all, it is laziness intensified  and I am unashamedly loving it.

    I hope you all will have a cancer free or cancer controlled year, keep the faith and stay positive despite the journey.Thanks for remembering your prodigal sister.

    I have managed to stay very well , No noticed side effects of these tumors,no felt sickness of any kind, I am determined not to be concerned about what is going on inside of me , Not in my control so won't rent space in my head pondering.

    I am hugging,Nuff love, Moli. 

     

     

    So glad to hear from you!

    Moli,

    So glad that you go a much needed vacation!   No apologies needed.   I feel your hugs and am hugging you back!

    There is so much I would love to say but for some reason my brain is blank today.  Sorry!   

    Just know that you are in my heart and prayers

     

    Kathy

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    unknown said:

    Hi Moli

    I have to remind myself of your sentence, not in my control, or I let my mind wander.  Actually, I was going through my jewelry today trying to figure out what to hang around my neck to distract people from the white elephant head above, when I saw my serenity bracelet that I bought after my husband died.  I will wear it daily just to remind me not to worry about things I can't control.  You sound like you've got it together.  Lots of wishes for the days to follow.  Nancy

    Useless worry,robs time.

    Hi Nancy  , Welcome to this board and thanks for your response.Sorry about your Husband ,I know similar pain.

     Word of advice: when your head is wondering down Worry lane and dragging your whole being with it , just pinch your bracelet,make a mental U turn and free yourself of the unpleasant thoughts. Always remind  yourself that none of this Cancer crap is on account of any of our actions, we didn't cause it ,we don't understand it,We can't control it, our doctors don't understand it,Total control of it has them beat, The Creator didn't promise to rescue us from it, a reprieve,maybe, but rescue ???.Bearing all of this in mind,worrying is a sad waste of expensive  time, with time we will all come to know that but it takes time and events. after realizing  that ,then we can actually live, and celebrate every " Alive " day.

    I don't always have it together Nancy but I am resolved to be the best 'worry ducker' there is.I am winning at this point,that's all.

    Don't even worry about the elephant head unless it has a tusk, I wouldn't.

    Take life's newness one day at a time. There are still pleasantries to enjoy.

    I am hugging, nuff blessings. Moli   

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Kaleena said:

    So glad to hear from you!

    Moli,

    So glad that you go a much needed vacation!   No apologies needed.   I feel your hugs and am hugging you back!

    There is so much I would love to say but for some reason my brain is blank today.  Sorry!   

    Just know that you are in my heart and prayers

     

    Kathy

    Blank brain is our ID

    Thanks Kathy, Dont give the foggy brain a thought, from we heard the words  "You Have Cancer' foggyness becomes our constant companion, Not to mention when it's best friend Chemo visits to add log to the fire.

    We all love you ,foggy head and all. I am still hugging,Thanks for your prayers, nuff Love Moli.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Lou Ann M said:

    Thankful for your "unearned"

    Thankful for your "unearned" vacation.  It was probably just what you needed.  I know the hard part was the extra waiting.  When you have your mind all prepared for something and then have to postpone it is disappointing to say the least.  I hope you get a new surgery date soon.  Take care .  Hugs and prayers from Lou Ann

    I am indeed thankful .

    LouAnn I really needed the distraction from the wait and the disappointment of it,So I embraced this quiet vacation, I did nothing  but ate,slept, swam and over indulge in food and lots of mangoes.I have  put on more pounds than I care to disclose here,now my ever present belly flap has become a dome, for another part of my anatomy,which will remain nameless here.

    I am now watching a terrible snow storm happening here and praying that I dont have to cancel my scan for later today, Scan dates are far between  so I hope it's not the case, but whatever will be will be.

    I will update re; surgery date and progress.

    I am feeling the hug,and hugging back.  Plenty, plenty blessings for you and all our sisters here. Moli.

     

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514

    moli

    Glad you responded back and that you had another great respite from the cancer concerns.

    Now, stay strong so that you heal quickly from surgery whenever that happens!

    Please keep us informed.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

    Great advice Cindi, I need to

    Great advice Cindi, I need to stay strong  to deal with what's coming down the pike, Can't wait  for this to be behind me but patience is  going to be practiced on my part. Thanks for caring, I feel it,

    I am hugging and loving, nuff blessings as you gather back your strength ,and embrace NED.

    Moli hugging.

  • Abbycat2
    Abbycat2 Member Posts: 644
    molimoli said:

    Blank brain is our ID

    Thanks Kathy, Dont give the foggy brain a thought, from we heard the words  "You Have Cancer' foggyness becomes our constant companion, Not to mention when it's best friend Chemo visits to add log to the fire.

    We all love you ,foggy head and all. I am still hugging,Thanks for your prayers, nuff Love Moli.

    Moli, so very glad to see you posting here!

     

    I have been concerned about you and am thrilled to see you post again. A much needed vacation is a welcomed distraction; it helps to clear the cobwebs from one's mind.  I hope that you had a great vacation and enjoyed eating those mango's (I have a mango tree in my yard-ummm!).  Hopefully, you can have your scan today as scheduled.  It is good to hear that you are feeling fine, too.  Please keep us posted.

    Nuff Love right back at you!

    Cathy        

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,578 **
    Abbycat2 said:

    Moli, so very glad to see you posting here!

     

    I have been concerned about you and am thrilled to see you post again. A much needed vacation is a welcomed distraction; it helps to clear the cobwebs from one's mind.  I hope that you had a great vacation and enjoyed eating those mango's (I have a mango tree in my yard-ummm!).  Hopefully, you can have your scan today as scheduled.  It is good to hear that you are feeling fine, too.  Please keep us posted.

    Nuff Love right back at you!

    Cathy        

    Moli

    i hope the scan shows that while you vacationed, the tumors lazed around, too.

    Will you complete your move soo?.  I always hate being unsettled.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    ConnieSW said:

    Moli

    i hope the scan shows that while you vacationed, the tumors lazed around, too.

    Will you complete your move soo?.  I always hate being unsettled.

    Thanks Connie

    Connie soon is what I hoped for , but I am now going with the flow, On the 21st I will be making major, maybe new decisions on my life ,moving forward, update will explain. I too hope the tumors stayed put with no tumor  relatives visiting their unwelcomed sibling in my poor belly. 

    Hugs. Hope all is going smoothly with you. Moli. 

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Abbycat2 said:

    Moli, so very glad to see you posting here!

     

    I have been concerned about you and am thrilled to see you post again. A much needed vacation is a welcomed distraction; it helps to clear the cobwebs from one's mind.  I hope that you had a great vacation and enjoyed eating those mango's (I have a mango tree in my yard-ummm!).  Hopefully, you can have your scan today as scheduled.  It is good to hear that you are feeling fine, too.  Please keep us posted.

    Nuff Love right back at you!

    Cathy        

    Sorry to cause you and others to wonder or worry.

    Cathy I did have the scan on the 12 instead, Yes ,I am feeling fine physically but getting bored waiting for outcomes and decisions. I need to get "it" over with ,whatever "it" is. Update will explain.

    As always,Nuff love, Moli.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    molimoli said:

    Thank you all

    for your concern and good wishes. I must say" SORRY" out loud for not posting to inform you all that I wouldnt be having surgery as planned on the 6th. The assisting surgeon could not do that date after something unforseen came up for him.. I was so disappointed that when I was notified I immediately booked a flight out and left on the 22nd of December for a brain calming  vacation,  I tried to  post on the  board to notify you all on the 4th but could not get my cell phone to properly function  as I was trying to use wifi as no internet was available.My attempts failed. I returned home late last night so just now got the chance to send my apology.

    On the 11th I will get a new scan as per. the surgeon , to give him a current view, then upon the assisting Dr's return a new date will be set . I enjoyed my trip so much that I secretly thanked  my creator for the reprieve  unintentionally given by the absconding surgeon.  I was offered a back up surgeon for the 6th  but I declined.

    My surgeon  advised me to plan a trip and go somewhere with distractions from the surgery so I did just that. He assured me that the delay will not cause any problems .

    I didn't do my planned christmas shibang at home as I am fully packed and didn't yet move , and would be too overworked, so I took an unearned vacation from doing nothing,Is it only me that has gotten lazy and actually identify it as plain lazy hiding out as cancer's effect?   It is not fatigue at all, it is laziness intensified  and I am unashamedly loving it.

    I hope you all will have a cancer free or cancer controlled year, keep the faith and stay positive despite the journey.Thanks for remembering your prodigal sister.

    I have managed to stay very well , No noticed side effects of these tumors,no felt sickness of any kind, I am determined not to be concerned about what is going on inside of me , Not in my control so won't rent space in my head pondering.

    I am hugging,Nuff love, Moli. 

     

     

    Updating.

    Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

     Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

    I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

    I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

    Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,801 **
    molimoli said:

    Updating.

    Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

     Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

    I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

    I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

    Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

    Moli

    Thanks so much for your update. You can ignore  my other post question! :-)

    Moli - you never bore. Geesh!

    While your decisions are not in line with mine, I recognize we all have to follow our own path. I will admit, I'm afraid for you but you have my support every step of your journey. I hope and pray that there are  no new tumors and that you get the surgery.

    So glad your daughter is doing well in New York. I know you are and will continue to be a great cheerleader!

    Looking forward to more good news on the 21st!

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,476 **
    molimoli said:

    Updating.

    Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

     Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

    I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

    I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

    Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

    Thanks for the update.  We

    Thanks for the update.  We each have to do what's right for ourselves even if it goes against "conventional wisdom" which, we all know is a crap shoot.  I was just talking to daughter #2 yesterday about what I want out of life after discontinuing chemo after three rounds.  Everyone is dying, that is the only certainty- it's just a matter of time.  I personally choose quality over quantity and will never do chemo again.  I wish you peace in whatever path you choose, my friend.

    Love,

    Eldri

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903
    molimoli said:

    Updating.

    Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

     Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

    I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

    I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

    Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

    If there's anything I have learned

    from my relatively short experience with cancer, it's that there is more than one way to skin this particular nasty cat.  I admire you, Moli, for being true to yourself and your needs as you fight this beast.  There is so much that even the doctors don't know, and I think the best of them acknowledge this and provide the best information that their hearts, training and experience allows.  But in the final analysis, it is each patient who has to make the decisions for herself on how to proceed for we are the ones who have to live the life that treatments leave us with.

    The paths we choose may be different, but our destination is the same:  that party with NED.  

    Peace to you, Moli.  I await your update on the 21st.

    Chris

     

  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095
    Thats my girl!  Make you

    Thats my girl!  Make you happy... God knows there is little joy in this cancer nightmare!  My DIL(42) is "Dying" from metestise breast cancer now.  The mets are in her bones and liver.  She is doing an oral chemo and is stable now.  They gave her 3-10 years(?), but she is very pro-active.  A friend of mine's DIL is also in the same boat and has decided to do nothing...at all.  Her husband helps by doing the MJ in his home.  She is 38 and has a 17 YO and a 7 YO.  It was too late for surgery, chemo didn't stop the tumor growth, neither did radiation.  So she quit everything.  Of the two girls, I think she is the happest.  My DIL is always on the hunt for SOMETHING to keep her stable....very nerve-racking!  So, whatever you are happiest with, so I(we) will be also.  I pray the scan shows a great go-ahead for surgery and that will be that!  Looking for the up-date and keeping up lifted-up.  Your daughter being in love with live is the greatest medicine we mama's can have!  Love to you, Debra

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    molimoli said:

    Updating.

    Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

     Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

    I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

    I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

    Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and Debra,Thanks for your uplifting posts. warms my heart. Yes I will post an update on 21st or even before that as for the first time today,all day I am experiencing a pain in my left side,mid left side  closer to spinal column ,just where one would imagine the kidney to be . I have experienced no pain before , it sometimes seem to radiate to mid abdomen. I had to drink a new contrast last week for my scan ,I hope it hasn't done a job on my kidneys, it's always a risk to drink that stuff but it goes with the investigative program . It seems that if Cancer don't get me, it's business partners will, but must they come on board bringing pain, I hate pain and had hoped to escape it . will call radiology dept. in the morning.  Did any of you experienced this on your journey?

    Nuff blessing for Cancer sufferers all over the world,  Nuff love  to you all-my friends  and rocks on which I lean.

    Moli

     

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996
    molimoli said:

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and Debra,Thanks for your uplifting posts. warms my heart. Yes I will post an update on 21st or even before that as for the first time today,all day I am experiencing a pain in my left side,mid left side  closer to spinal column ,just where one would imagine the kidney to be . I have experienced no pain before , it sometimes seem to radiate to mid abdomen. I had to drink a new contrast last week for my scan ,I hope it hasn't done a job on my kidneys, it's always a risk to drink that stuff but it goes with the investigative program . It seems that if Cancer don't get me, it's business partners will, but must they come on board bringing pain, I hate pain and had hoped to escape it . will call radiology dept. in the morning.  Did any of you experienced this on your journey?

    Nuff blessing for Cancer sufferers all over the world,  Nuff love  to you all-my friends  and rocks on which I lean.

    Moli

     

    I am sorry it has taken me

    I am sorry it has taken me all day to get back to you.  By now you have probably talked to your Dr. Or someone. I do feel pretty achy and just plain crappy after drinking the delightful smoothy they provide before a CT scan.  it is usually just effecting my stomach though.  I hope you get some answers quickly.  I am also glad thast you have a plan.  We all need to feel free to choose the path we go down.  My niece's son takes cannabus for Autism and they have had some success with it when nothing else worked.  So I don't rule anything out.  Hugs and prayers to you Moli, Lou Ann

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,578 **
    debrajo said:

    Thats my girl!  Make you

    Thats my girl!  Make you happy... God knows there is little joy in this cancer nightmare!  My DIL(42) is "Dying" from metestise breast cancer now.  The mets are in her bones and liver.  She is doing an oral chemo and is stable now.  They gave her 3-10 years(?), but she is very pro-active.  A friend of mine's DIL is also in the same boat and has decided to do nothing...at all.  Her husband helps by doing the MJ in his home.  She is 38 and has a 17 YO and a 7 YO.  It was too late for surgery, chemo didn't stop the tumor growth, neither did radiation.  So she quit everything.  Of the two girls, I think she is the happest.  My DIL is always on the hunt for SOMETHING to keep her stable....very nerve-racking!  So, whatever you are happiest with, so I(we) will be also.  I pray the scan shows a great go-ahead for surgery and that will be that!  Looking for the up-date and keeping up lifted-up.  Your daughter being in love with live is the greatest medicine we mama's can have!  Love to you, Debra

    Moli

    hope you called your doctor about the pain.  Pain is so debilitating, physically and mentally.  Please don't hurt when it's not necessary.

  • Cucu me
    Cucu me Member Posts: 213
    ConnieSW said:

    Moli

    hope you called your doctor about the pain.  Pain is so debilitating, physically and mentally.  Please don't hurt when it's not necessary.

    Moli

    Feel bettter, sending you all my best wishes to feel better and your doctors to find

    good solution for you.

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,059
    molimoli said:

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and Debra,Thanks for your uplifting posts. warms my heart. Yes I will post an update on 21st or even before that as for the first time today,all day I am experiencing a pain in my left side,mid left side  closer to spinal column ,just where one would imagine the kidney to be . I have experienced no pain before , it sometimes seem to radiate to mid abdomen. I had to drink a new contrast last week for my scan ,I hope it hasn't done a job on my kidneys, it's always a risk to drink that stuff but it goes with the investigative program . It seems that if Cancer don't get me, it's business partners will, but must they come on board bringing pain, I hate pain and had hoped to escape it . will call radiology dept. in the morning.  Did any of you experienced this on your journey?

    Nuff blessing for Cancer sufferers all over the world,  Nuff love  to you all-my friends  and rocks on which I lean.

    Moli

     

    Hello Moli
    sorry you are

    Hello Moli

    sorry you are experiencing pain.  I know exactly the pain.   It's around the T8 of your spine and over and near base of rib cage.   It probably feels too like its cramping at times.  Sometimes you feel like the pain goes through your back to your front As if someone put a pencil through you.   In fact as I am typing this my back is feeling it now.  

    my pain got bad for about 4 months and I also had stiffness and numbness of my left arm and had a hard time sleeping.  I had all the nerve tests done and neck scans.    i had a knot in my back that I could feel and at the base of my neck and shoulders.  I kept mentioning it to all my doctors as I thought it could be a recurrence or kidney issue.   No one seemed concerned.  I even had a sleep study test fine but I passed it.   I finally went to physical therapy and had some massages which really helped.  I also had my regular pet scans which didn't show anything.   

    concerning scans I wouldn't worry too much   Since 2014 I have had 7 PET scans  2 MRIs  a bone density scan   Neck X-ray several ultrasounds and a several CT scans with and without contrast   Lol

    as you know I do have a ureter issue but everyone said my kidney was fine even though that pain is over the kidney

    then in October I got that pancreatitis which no one knows what caused it

    ive started a new job and use the computer and I think it is aggravating my back    but at least I can say I started a new job!!!!!

    Moli I hope you feel better!!!

    Kathy

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996
    Kaleena said:

    Hello Moli
    sorry you are

    Hello Moli

    sorry you are experiencing pain.  I know exactly the pain.   It's around the T8 of your spine and over and near base of rib cage.   It probably feels too like its cramping at times.  Sometimes you feel like the pain goes through your back to your front As if someone put a pencil through you.   In fact as I am typing this my back is feeling it now.  

    my pain got bad for about 4 months and I also had stiffness and numbness of my left arm and had a hard time sleeping.  I had all the nerve tests done and neck scans.    i had a knot in my back that I could feel and at the base of my neck and shoulders.  I kept mentioning it to all my doctors as I thought it could be a recurrence or kidney issue.   No one seemed concerned.  I even had a sleep study test fine but I passed it.   I finally went to physical therapy and had some massages which really helped.  I also had my regular pet scans which didn't show anything.   

    concerning scans I wouldn't worry too much   Since 2014 I have had 7 PET scans  2 MRIs  a bone density scan   Neck X-ray several ultrasounds and a several CT scans with and without contrast   Lol

    as you know I do have a ureter issue but everyone said my kidney was fine even though that pain is over the kidney

    then in October I got that pancreatitis which no one knows what caused it

    ive started a new job and use the computer and I think it is aggravating my back    but at least I can say I started a new job!!!!!

    Moli I hope you feel better!!!

    Kathy

    Moli and Kathy

    After reading you post, Kathy, I'm have a very similar pain.  I didn't associate it with my kidneys, thinking they were in my lower back.  My pain starts were my ribs and sternum meet and radiates to my spine, neck left shoulder and sometimes down my left arm.  Sometimes it is so sharp it feels like a knife going through my body.  Go so bad about 4 weeks ago that I went to the ER .  I was really afraid it was my spleen..  They immediately checked me out for heart problems.  my heart , lungs and no blood clots, so they decided that it was Gastritis.  My oncologist says probably.  He says that chemo can cause this.  It my case I believe that is true.  It always shows up on days 10-13 after chemo.  he says that gastritis can bother your nerves and that's why you get the radiating pain.  No caffeine, spicy food or acidic food does help but doesn't entirely relieve it for me.  Lou Ann

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    molimoli said:

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and

    Cindi,Eldri, Chris and Debra,Thanks for your uplifting posts. warms my heart. Yes I will post an update on 21st or even before that as for the first time today,all day I am experiencing a pain in my left side,mid left side  closer to spinal column ,just where one would imagine the kidney to be . I have experienced no pain before , it sometimes seem to radiate to mid abdomen. I had to drink a new contrast last week for my scan ,I hope it hasn't done a job on my kidneys, it's always a risk to drink that stuff but it goes with the investigative program . It seems that if Cancer don't get me, it's business partners will, but must they come on board bringing pain, I hate pain and had hoped to escape it . will call radiology dept. in the morning.  Did any of you experienced this on your journey?

    Nuff blessing for Cancer sufferers all over the world,  Nuff love  to you all-my friends  and rocks on which I lean.

    Moli

     

    Thanks for good wishes guys,

    I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

    Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

    May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

    I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

  • Abbycat2
    Abbycat2 Member Posts: 644
    molimoli said:

    Thanks for good wishes guys,

    I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

    Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

    May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

    I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

    Oh, Moli, your post breaks my heart!

     

    And yet, in spite of it all, you continue to show such strength and grace.  You hugged the doctor in your mind!  Such a gentle soul you are, Moli.  I am rooting for a good outcome from your surgery and look forward to hearing an update from you on the 21st. Have you told your girls that you will be having surgery soon?

    Nuff love, my dear,

    Cathy 

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996
    molimoli said:

    Thanks for good wishes guys,

    I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

    Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

    May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

    I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

    Keep that amazing strength

    Keep that amazing strength that you have.  It will help you get through this.  I am so sad that those nasty little cells are finding new spots to hide in you body.  Maybe what the ER doctor saw was something that your surgeon can take care of.  Could be that you will just be short more body parts.  I am missing a bunch by now.  I am glad the ER was able to  you something for the pain. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,059
    Cucu me said:

    Moli

    Feel bettter, sending you all my best wishes to feel better and your doctors to find

    good solution for you.

    Moli - thinking of you!

    sending hugs and much more!

    kathy

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,476 **
    molimoli said:

    Thanks for good wishes guys,

    I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

    Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

    May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

    I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

    Your post brought a tear to

    Your post brought a tear to my eye but then I had to smile when you said your goose is in the oven but not totally cooked.  I feel like you - my body is trying to kill my mind.  I think of my mind as my life and the body just takes orders from the mind but when cancer or other life-threatening illness hits, it's like the body is revolting against those orders.  In the end, the body usually wins.  My biggest fear before getting cancer was losing my mind.  My stepfather and a dear aunt had Alzheimers for years before they died.  But now, I think maybe they're the lucky ones.  

    Take care, my friend, and thank you for the hug.  They are always greatly appreciated.

    Love,

    Eldri

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,578 **
    Kaleena said:

    Moli - thinking of you!

    sending hugs and much more!

    kathy

    Moli, I didn't reply right away

    because only bad words would come out of my finger and I didn't want CSN to boot me.  I'm not doing much better today so let me just say I'm hoping things are better than the ER doctor thought.  Good luck.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    ConnieSW said:

    Moli, I didn't reply right away

    because only bad words would come out of my finger and I didn't want CSN to boot me.  I'm not doing much better today so let me just say I'm hoping things are better than the ER doctor thought.  Good luck.

    Pain gone with Naproxin

    Yes Connie dear I think they are always on the watch for bad words , my lips are almost bitten off trying to get my fingers to obey.

    I too hope its better than I have braced for , but tomorrow will tell and in the night time I will update. Thanks for the needed support.

    Plenty hugs. save me some hugs for tomorrow , ok?

    Moli.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514

    Your post brought a tear to

    Your post brought a tear to my eye but then I had to smile when you said your goose is in the oven but not totally cooked.  I feel like you - my body is trying to kill my mind.  I think of my mind as my life and the body just takes orders from the mind but when cancer or other life-threatening illness hits, it's like the body is revolting against those orders.  In the end, the body usually wins.  My biggest fear before getting cancer was losing my mind.  My stepfather and a dear aunt had Alzheimers for years before they died.  But now, I think maybe they're the lucky ones.  

    Take care, my friend, and thank you for the hug.  They are always greatly appreciated.

    Love,

    Eldri

    Eldri Fight hard , keep the mind intact, battle will be half won

    Cancer will kill every inch of us before we die if we let it , just be resolved to stay strong and do cancer your way with plenty information and sensible resolution. I am feeling the hug ,thank you. Moli

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Cucu me said:

    Moli

    Feel bettter, sending you all my best wishes to feel better and your doctors to find

    good solution for you.

    Feeling much better,

    Thank you Cucu. I am strengthened by the support.Solution day tomorrow Yea!