CSN Login
Members Online: 6

You are here

Moli updating.

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Hi Ladies ,I finally got surgery date for January 6th , long time to wait but i am downsizing and hoping to move within the month of December . I am planning a bells and whistles  Christmas celebration for children and family in my new place.I have narrowed down my search to 3 places and will choose one soon.So won't do any surgery until the new year unless there is an emergency. I sense that I will be unwell for a while after treatment so I am happy to have some time to do some living untill then.

Surgeons requested that I take the time to  get lots of info from others who have had colostomies or it's like, so that I am confident that I can live with this ,in case they have to go that route, I am apprehensive but not afraid or worried, with this disease you are damned if you do and damned if you dont, so I am now like '"whatever" just do it.    I got helpful info from some of you on PM thanks a lot for opening your selves in that way to help me save myself.I hope you know that I was loving as I read.

Although I visited the board briefly some nights, I have not posted as I got the date only yesterday and there was nothing new to post.

Overall I feel well ,a bit tired from house hunting or lazy.No discomfort or pain  but very aware of something in my pelvis feeling a sense of  'biggerness ' every couple of weeks, Which tells me there are growth progressions happening, and oh boy when I walk too much or suddenly stand up from a sitting or stooping position I actually feel like something is adjusting itself way way back of my vagina apparently in another vagina ,weird feeling with no pain,

I wish I knew that I had a spare vagina back there when I was young and thought that I was semi- cute, I would have used them both up. 

Now I have lost them both to rogue cells, how about that.  Woe is me but my cup is still half full.

To all of you sisters I am wishing for you exactly what you hope for.NED and total peace of mind.Preparedness for life and death affords me a peace of mind that can't be explained with any words in the dictionary. I have prepared to live and really live a long time  however if death comes today  it will push no panic buttons on me as I have prepared for that reality too, really prepared with all my ducks in line so I have nothing to stress or worry about no more, forever.and my family will have absolutely no panic planning to do ,their time will be better spent hugging and consoling each other as they think of my life with them whichever way they see it in their individual heads. Now I am fameliar with and understand  'The Peace That Passeth Understanding' 

Re: the wills that are not yet wills ,those under the mattress, those in the drawers or those in your heads , pull them out and do the right thing, stop procrastinating , A proper will. saves families from unloving each other in your absence,just do it. 

Nuff love to you all , Beg ,borrow or steal some Peace of mind, it's a freeing place to be, it lightens your load. Nuff love, Moli

Cucu me
Posts: 214
Joined: Apr 2015

Moli, I missed you.

Get better please!

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1802
Joined: Jun 2015

Moli, enjoy your holidays. Get yourself strong and ready for your surgery.  It will be here before you know it!

Thanks for letting us know the plan!

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

I just need to get it behind me  comes what may. I feel positive though, just sorry I waited so long hassling with the cancer center, Should have left long ago and seek surgery elsewhere. but better late than never.

Thanks to the creator that you are doing well with the changes to your chemo routine.

Stay strong and brave, Love you.Moli

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

I will comply ,Cucu, I'll do my darndest to be better. You do the same please. I wish us all 'better' for a long long time.

Nuff love. Moli

AWK
Posts: 364
Joined: Mar 2013

I have had you on the brain.  Your plans sound perfect and your message reads of your peace of mind.  I am so happy for you.  Pay attention to your body and be gentle with it.  On the colostomy bag you might try the colon cancer group of you don't get a lot of response here.

always keeping you in my prayers.  And as our Ro would sign off - in peace and caring Anne

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

-like, Anne, you have not been far from my thoughts and prayers. I wish for you continued peace and a smooth downsizing. Good for you for preparing for whatever life unfolds. I agree that we women, especially the 60 plus ones, should have wills in place. I have had a will for at least 30 years, including a healthcare rep in the event that I am unable to direct my own fate. I have not made funeral arrangements but will do that when my cancer or some other disease seems to be gaining a footing.  My loved ones will be taken care of, including my sweerheart of 31 years. You talked about acceptance and Moli, that is what I am striving to attain in my life here and now. I do not under any circumstance believe that I will beat UPSC, but if I do- and if you and the other women here do- well, da-n, Hallelujah! There could not be a greater reason to celebrate!

moli, I am sometimes left speechless after reading your post, as I am awed by your incredible love for your children, your courage and grace in facing this cancer adversity and your humorous view of your life and cancer in general. I wish you calm sailing and joy during the holiday season and a superb surgery outcome, my friend!

Warm Hugs,

Cathy 

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Cathy, I am sure you know that you are also constantly with me, I never fail to give thanks for your NED Blessings, Hoping that you and all my other sisters find and or keep NED. Most of all I hope that all of my sisters keep working their way into peace and contentment with the resolve to fight Cancer as a team, cheering each other on this rugged winding road.

You will find the acceptance and peace that you seek in good time Cathy, I know you will, you must  but it takes time. I had no choice I had to push myself into soul searching and despite UPSC I found more to be happy about than to be sad about so  because I know the delecate situation I was in  already embracing depression for one reason ,then  got this, another reason to be really depressed and angrier, that would guarantee that the rest of my life would be spent keeping company with depression and fear,so cold turkey I booted the depression with it's debilitating worthlessness from my life,  the alternative would be to harbor anger, denial and a whole lot more depression.I ached to return to my old self ,my family ached to have me back as me, so I made a choice to make peace with cancer without embracing it and going to bed to sleep with it 24 / 7. I know it's there but it will not rob me of my chance to hug life again.

So you see Cathy I was in a different place standing in different shoes from all of you so If I happen to say that UPSC saved me from 4 years  of nothingness please believe me and understand that for you finding peace of mind despite cancer  may take a while, I didn't have anymore while to give to nothingness.I won't find anymore while for nothingness, every day gotta count moving forward or the latter part of my life will be wasted  feeling sorry for myself.What's the pay off for that, MORE NOTHINGNESS.I surmise. Tomorrow !5th will be the anniversary of my daughter's passing and on visiting her grave I won't anymore say out loud while I am bawling  "Baby I am going to get it together" this time it will be " Baby I have gotten it together and I am back into life, hook ,line and sinker"  I may bawl but not for the same reason. I will be bawling in acceptance of her death , in acknowledgement that I have terminal cancer but most of all in thankfulness that I won't end my life's journey with nothing but nothingness,I am making sure of that.

 My children and grandchildren are  all I have, I love them dearly and have always protected them with all of me.The three girls, now 2 turned out exactly as I envisioned.

Humor will take us all through the dark times, if we lighten up.

Looking forward to the holiday a lot. 

Thanks for your kind wishes for me. Continued ned and peace of mind is my wish for you my sister friend. Nuff love. Moli.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Yes Anne I am  content with my lot at this point.Thanks to the creator

I got a couple of responses which were reassuring. I hope it wont get to that but I am braced.

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

I love that I love you all and feel loved in return, wonderful spirit booster.

You remain in my prayers, my hopes and my wishes, one or all better produce results of NED or better.I am counting on constantly asking the creator to intervene for all of us.

I got some honest feed back from some sisters re colostomy. I am encouraged by the info.

I am hugging you,  my more than brave sister.

Nuff love, Moli.

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

You sound like you have everything planned out.  Have a wonderful holiday season and rest up for your surgery.  What ever happens you will be able to handle it.  You are a strong lady.

I also have many of my final plans taken care of.  My pastor know my wishes and so does my family.  I may be around for a long time and then I may walk out my door tomorrow and have an airplane land on me.  You never know!.  It is great to be able to feel at peace, and I am so happy for you.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Good girl re final plans.Pass the advice around it makes good sense.

Oh LouAnn you crack me up ,Why airplane? sounds  so big,  harsh and pulverising, couldn't you pick a simple fall with a busted head like falling out of a low bed ?.You have me imagining the big airplane on top of me  and with my bad luck my nine lives will kick in and keep me under it a long time before I pass .I'll never be able to get this out of my head now, girl next time turn down the drama a little bit. LOL,LOL,LOL. dying with laughter.my ribs are now hurting. Thank you our drama Queen.Don't know how many times you have ever heard of an airplane picking a single person to land on, now Moli will be watching the direction of every darn airplane, as if I didn't have enough to worry about.

Love you my darling Lou ann. I wish you peace of mind and protection from airplanes. ( you just shattered my peace of mind with that airplane story)

Too funny Take care, Nuff love Moli.

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 2064
Joined: Nov 2009

Dear Moli:

There are times that this stuff really gets us to our lowest point.  But somehow we seem to find the strength to keep on going.   I am sending you that strength to push back those rogue cells back to where they belong.

Looking for homes and dealing with this stuff can really be an emotional rollercoaster.   

There is more I would like to say but unfortunately I have not been blessed with words.   So I am sending you hugs and prayers to lift your heart and give you happiness.

My best to you,

Kathy

 

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

You are not short of words at all you have said so much on this board that gives us hope and strength, for you we are grateful.When I update i'll let you know all about the rogue cell shinnagans.

Take care of yourself and yours.You are a pillar of strength to us.

Nuff love

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

Moli, it is so good to hear you have such all-encompassing plans arranged.  Your voice is calm, almost serene, and I feel a glow of acceptance and strength as you move toward all the "new"s in your life.

I wish you the best in finding your new home.  Downsizing makes one really take stock of what's important, essential, both from a practical and emotional sense.  It's an exercise we could probably all benefit from, whether we need to do it or not.

And thanks for the reminder re: will.  While I have had one for many years, since my mom died 7 years ago, it is somewhat out of date.  In addition, I really need to do a trust.  My parents had one and it made things so much easier for so many reasons.  It has been on my list for a couple of years, and I think the time for procrastination has long passed.  Thanks for the kick in the pants.

Chris

 

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

to make me weep and laugh, too. Thank you for removing my rose colored glasses and helping me see life as it really is. We are- each of us- time limited afterall whether we have cancer, heart disease or facing the clock ticking down our days due to old age. Thank you for opening my eyes to the real world. I am striving to achieve your level of acceptance and I sense that I am moving in that direction. I am anything but naive or stupid. Lots of women who had stage 3 or 4 UPSC and wrote on this uterine board have passed on. Our dear beloved Ro10 most recently and none of us have recovered from losing her. 

Da-n, I hate cancer and I am not one to use that word loosely. 

Love to you, moli, 

Cathy

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Tears washes the eyeballs clean allowing us to see clearly when it's done

Laughter tickles the spirit causing it to soar to higher places

I too hate cancer but not holding a grudge, too debilitating.

I am happy and grateful I was put on notice, thats all.

What one does with the notice period can make or break the outcome.

Plenty hugs, Love you back  Moli.

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

I am in full agreement Chris  NO PROCRASTINATION  should be our new rallying call.

So right, downsizing is freeing

I am looking forward to meeting and finding ways to deal with the  "new"s as  they come, The easy and the  tough ones.I'll stay braced.

Happy to see how very well you are doing with treatment, it does come with it's hiccups but thanks to the creator you are all weathering the storm .Makes my heart glad.

Nuff Love and new blessings. Moli

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

 

I am hoping that the Christmas and New Year's holidays brought you much joy visiting with your girls and grandchildren.  Have you moved into your new home?   I remember that you said that you would be having your surgery tomorrow and I just want you to know that you have been on my mind and I am wishing for the very best surgical outcome for you. 

Let us hear from you!   Take good care of yourself, Moli.

Nuff Love,

Cathy

ConnieSW
Posts: 1576
Joined: Jun 2012

i knew that Moli's surgery was in the first week of Jan. but couldn't recall the exact date.  Thanks for remembering, Cathy.  Moli, please know I'll be sending good thoughts your way tomorrow.  

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1802
Joined: Jun 2015

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Cathy thanks for reminding us of the date. Like you, I have been thinking about our friend. :-)

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

I CSN e-mailed Moli last night, but have not heard back.  She is due her surgery tomorrow.  Wishing her the very best with whatever she decides.  Nuff love to Moli!

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

Thinking of you today, Moli.  Hoping for the best possible outcome.

Chris

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

Moli. I hope that her surgery went quite well and she is doing fine. 

Nuff love to you, Moli!

Cathy

ConnieSW
Posts: 1576
Joined: Jun 2012

on the 4th so wouldn't have seen our postings before her surgery.  Let's keep sending good vibes her way.

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1802
Joined: Jun 2015

I suspect Moli is still some what sedated. From what she told us, it was going to be a very extensive surgery.  Hopefully we will hear from her soon!

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

Missing you girl.  I hope you are healing.  Prayers headed your way.  Lou Ann

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1479
Joined: Oct 2015

I hope she is doing ok.....maybe just a little post surgery recovery time?

Love,

Eldri

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

for your concern and good wishes. I must say" SORRY" out loud for not posting to inform you all that I wouldnt be having surgery as planned on the 6th. The assisting surgeon could not do that date after something unforseen came up for him.. I was so disappointed that when I was notified I immediately booked a flight out and left on the 22nd of December for a brain calming  vacation,  I tried to  post on the  board to notify you all on the 4th but could not get my cell phone to properly function  as I was trying to use wifi as no internet was available.My attempts failed. I returned home late last night so just now got the chance to send my apology.

On the 11th I will get a new scan as per. the surgeon , to give him a current view, then upon the assisting Dr's return a new date will be set . I enjoyed my trip so much that I secretly thanked  my creator for the reprieve  unintentionally given by the absconding surgeon.  I was offered a back up surgeon for the 6th  but I declined.

My surgeon  advised me to plan a trip and go somewhere with distractions from the surgery so I did just that. He assured me that the delay will not cause any problems .

I didn't do my planned christmas shibang at home as I am fully packed and didn't yet move , and would be too overworked, so I took an unearned vacation from doing nothing,Is it only me that has gotten lazy and actually identify it as plain lazy hiding out as cancer's effect?   It is not fatigue at all, it is laziness intensified  and I am unashamedly loving it.

I hope you all will have a cancer free or cancer controlled year, keep the faith and stay positive despite the journey.Thanks for remembering your prodigal sister.

I have managed to stay very well , No noticed side effects of these tumors,no felt sickness of any kind, I am determined not to be concerned about what is going on inside of me , Not in my control so won't rent space in my head pondering.

I am hugging,Nuff love, Moli. 

 

 

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1802
Joined: Jun 2015

Glad you responded back and that you had another great respite from the cancer concerns.

Now, stay strong so that you heal quickly from surgery whenever that happens!

Please keep us informed.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Great advice Cindi, I need to stay strong  to deal with what's coming down the pike, Can't wait  for this to be behind me but patience is  going to be practiced on my part. Thanks for caring, I feel it,

I am hugging and loving, nuff blessings as you gather back your strength ,and embrace NED.

Moli hugging.

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

Thankful for your "unearned" vacation.  It was probably just what you needed.  I know the hard part was the extra waiting.  When you have your mind all prepared for something and then have to postpone it is disappointing to say the least.  I hope you get a new surgery date soon.  Take care .  Hugs and prayers from Lou Ann

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

LouAnn I really needed the distraction from the wait and the disappointment of it,So I embraced this quiet vacation, I did nothing  but ate,slept, swam and over indulge in food and lots of mangoes.I have  put on more pounds than I care to disclose here,now my ever present belly flap has become a dome, for another part of my anatomy,which will remain nameless here.

I am now watching a terrible snow storm happening here and praying that I dont have to cancel my scan for later today, Scan dates are far between  so I hope it's not the case, but whatever will be will be.

I will update re; surgery date and progress.

I am feeling the hug,and hugging back.  Plenty, plenty blessings for you and all our sisters here. Moli.

 

Anonymous user (not verified)

I have to remind myself of your sentence, not in my control, or I let my mind wander.  Actually, I was going through my jewelry today trying to figure out what to hang around my neck to distract people from the white elephant head above, when I saw my serenity bracelet that I bought after my husband died.  I will wear it daily just to remind me not to worry about things I can't control.  You sound like you've got it together.  Lots of wishes for the days to follow.  Nancy

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Hi Nancy  , Welcome to this board and thanks for your response.Sorry about your Husband ,I know similar pain.

 Word of advice: when your head is wondering down Worry lane and dragging your whole being with it , just pinch your bracelet,make a mental U turn and free yourself of the unpleasant thoughts. Always remind  yourself that none of this Cancer crap is on account of any of our actions, we didn't cause it ,we don't understand it,We can't control it, our doctors don't understand it,Total control of it has them beat, The Creator didn't promise to rescue us from it, a reprieve,maybe, but rescue ???.Bearing all of this in mind,worrying is a sad waste of expensive  time, with time we will all come to know that but it takes time and events. after realizing  that ,then we can actually live, and celebrate every " Alive " day.

I don't always have it together Nancy but I am resolved to be the best 'worry ducker' there is.I am winning at this point,that's all.

Don't even worry about the elephant head unless it has a tusk, I wouldn't.

Take life's newness one day at a time. There are still pleasantries to enjoy.

I am hugging, nuff blessings. Moli   

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 2064
Joined: Nov 2009

Moli,

So glad that you go a much needed vacation!   No apologies needed.   I feel your hugs and am hugging you back!

There is so much I would love to say but for some reason my brain is blank today.  Sorry!   

Just know that you are in my heart and prayers

 

Kathy

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Thanks Kathy, Dont give the foggy brain a thought, from we heard the words  "You Have Cancer' foggyness becomes our constant companion, Not to mention when it's best friend Chemo visits to add log to the fire.

We all love you ,foggy head and all. I am still hugging,Thanks for your prayers, nuff Love Moli.

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

 

I have been concerned about you and am thrilled to see you post again. A much needed vacation is a welcomed distraction; it helps to clear the cobwebs from one's mind.  I hope that you had a great vacation and enjoyed eating those mango's (I have a mango tree in my yard-ummm!).  Hopefully, you can have your scan today as scheduled.  It is good to hear that you are feeling fine, too.  Please keep us posted.

Nuff Love right back at you!

Cathy        

ConnieSW
Posts: 1576
Joined: Jun 2012

i hope the scan shows that while you vacationed, the tumors lazed around, too.

Will you complete your move soo?.  I always hate being unsettled.

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Connie soon is what I hoped for , but I am now going with the flow, On the 21st I will be making major, maybe new decisions on my life ,moving forward, update will explain. I too hope the tumors stayed put with no tumor  relatives visiting their unwelcomed sibling in my poor belly. 

Hugs. Hope all is going smoothly with you. Moli. 

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Cathy I did have the scan on the 12 instead, Yes ,I am feeling fine physically but getting bored waiting for outcomes and decisions. I need to get "it" over with ,whatever "it" is. Update will explain.

As always,Nuff love, Moli.

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Hi Ladies, I have followed some of your posts for the last week , some happy ones some sad ones and some frightening ones , In spirit I am drawn to where you are ,celebrating, crying and always wishing ,praying and hoping that you all will find contentment and get healing, If I don't address a post it is not indicative of lack of interest in the plight or subject matter at all, it is only that I have my plate full at this time and find it easier to whisper many prayers for you all.  I am always hugging and loving the thought that you are all there .Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves.

 Had  my scan on the 12th, Surgery will be very soon after result and final consultation on the 21st, providing that there are no additional tumors, if  active tumors are found elsewhere in my abdomen then the surgeon and I have agreed that it will not be sensible to start chasing them with surgery, Therefore, in the event of that I will opt out of surgical  treatment and follow through with alternative treatment arrangements I have made with an oncologist who uses alternative  approach which includes cannabis , other herbs and diet.  I am game for that , I will choose to call it "Moli's clinical trial"  instead of "Moli gone mad trial" Some of you my sisters will think it's the latter and to be honest  any given day I may agree with you but only for a short while until my rogue self asserts itself and re-convince me that I am a genius who knows exactly what I am doing.. Incidentally the oncologist looks like the mad scientist. I'll be in good company.LOL

I will update on the night of the 21st. Oh Lord, I bet many of you would like to save me from myself.I thank you for the thought, as I have even tried to save me from me many times but all attempts failed. I got me under tight raps, no rescuing happening.

I have had great news from my youngest daughter who as some of you may remember left for New York a couple months ago. She just got a 3years work visa to live and work in that City of her dreams,I am happy to live to see her living her dreams, happy to keep thoughts of impending doom from crowding out her sunshine. Upon initially getting the news by text, distance did not prevent me from seeing her wide smile and her lit eyes in my mind's eyes. It made my heart dance, My cup is almost full, I muttered to myself as I imagined me hugging her tight tight, tight. as I realize that my child rearing job is done, I am now demoted to an official cheer leader.I am happy she still calls me  'mom' and not that dreaded word 'mother'.  Just had to share my' happy' with you guys.Sorry to bore you.

Showers of blessings I wish for you all, may we all find NED by whatever means necessary. Nuff love, Moli.

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1802
Joined: Jun 2015

Thanks so much for your update. You can ignore  my other post question! :-)

Moli - you never bore. Geesh!

While your decisions are not in line with mine, I recognize we all have to follow our own path. I will admit, I'm afraid for you but you have my support every step of your journey. I hope and pray that there are  no new tumors and that you get the surgery.

So glad your daughter is doing well in New York. I know you are and will continue to be a great cheerleader!

Looking forward to more good news on the 21st!

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1479
Joined: Oct 2015

Thanks for the update.  We each have to do what's right for ourselves even if it goes against "conventional wisdom" which, we all know is a crap shoot.  I was just talking to daughter #2 yesterday about what I want out of life after discontinuing chemo after three rounds.  Everyone is dying, that is the only certainty- it's just a matter of time.  I personally choose quality over quantity and will never do chemo again.  I wish you peace in whatever path you choose, my friend.

Love,

Eldri

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

from my relatively short experience with cancer, it's that there is more than one way to skin this particular nasty cat.  I admire you, Moli, for being true to yourself and your needs as you fight this beast.  There is so much that even the doctors don't know, and I think the best of them acknowledge this and provide the best information that their hearts, training and experience allows.  But in the final analysis, it is each patient who has to make the decisions for herself on how to proceed for we are the ones who have to live the life that treatments leave us with.

The paths we choose may be different, but our destination is the same:  that party with NED.  

Peace to you, Moli.  I await your update on the 21st.

Chris

 

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

Cindi,Eldri, Chris and Debra,Thanks for your uplifting posts. warms my heart. Yes I will post an update on 21st or even before that as for the first time today,all day I am experiencing a pain in my left side,mid left side  closer to spinal column ,just where one would imagine the kidney to be . I have experienced no pain before , it sometimes seem to radiate to mid abdomen. I had to drink a new contrast last week for my scan ,I hope it hasn't done a job on my kidneys, it's always a risk to drink that stuff but it goes with the investigative program . It seems that if Cancer don't get me, it's business partners will, but must they come on board bringing pain, I hate pain and had hoped to escape it . will call radiology dept. in the morning.  Did any of you experienced this on your journey?

Nuff blessing for Cancer sufferers all over the world,  Nuff love  to you all-my friends  and rocks on which I lean.

Moli

 

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

I am sorry it has taken me all day to get back to you.  By now you have probably talked to your Dr. Or someone. I do feel pretty achy and just plain crappy after drinking the delightful smoothy they provide before a CT scan.  it is usually just effecting my stomach though.  I hope you get some answers quickly.  I am also glad thast you have a plan.  We all need to feel free to choose the path we go down.  My niece's son takes cannabus for Autism and they have had some success with it when nothing else worked.  So I don't rule anything out.  Hugs and prayers to you Moli, Lou Ann

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 2064
Joined: Nov 2009

Hello Moli

sorry you are experiencing pain.  I know exactly the pain.   It's around the T8 of your spine and over and near base of rib cage.   It probably feels too like its cramping at times.  Sometimes you feel like the pain goes through your back to your front As if someone put a pencil through you.   In fact as I am typing this my back is feeling it now.  

my pain got bad for about 4 months and I also had stiffness and numbness of my left arm and had a hard time sleeping.  I had all the nerve tests done and neck scans.    i had a knot in my back that I could feel and at the base of my neck and shoulders.  I kept mentioning it to all my doctors as I thought it could be a recurrence or kidney issue.   No one seemed concerned.  I even had a sleep study test fine but I passed it.   I finally went to physical therapy and had some massages which really helped.  I also had my regular pet scans which didn't show anything.   

concerning scans I wouldn't worry too much   Since 2014 I have had 7 PET scans  2 MRIs  a bone density scan   Neck X-ray several ultrasounds and a several CT scans with and without contrast   Lol

as you know I do have a ureter issue but everyone said my kidney was fine even though that pain is over the kidney

then in October I got that pancreatitis which no one knows what caused it

ive started a new job and use the computer and I think it is aggravating my back    but at least I can say I started a new job!!!!!

Moli I hope you feel better!!!

Kathy

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

After reading you post, Kathy, I'm have a very similar pain.  I didn't associate it with my kidneys, thinking they were in my lower back.  My pain starts were my ribs and sternum meet and radiates to my spine, neck left shoulder and sometimes down my left arm.  Sometimes it is so sharp it feels like a knife going through my body.  Go so bad about 4 weeks ago that I went to the ER .  I was really afraid it was my spleen..  They immediately checked me out for heart problems.  my heart , lungs and no blood clots, so they decided that it was Gastritis.  My oncologist says probably.  He says that chemo can cause this.  It my case I believe that is true.  It always shows up on days 10-13 after chemo.  he says that gastritis can bother your nerves and that's why you get the radiating pain.  No caffeine, spicy food or acidic food does help but doesn't entirely relieve it for me.  Lou Ann

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

I had to go to emerg. yesterday as I was very uncomfortable with the pain. Doctor did a scan without contrast., however he only told me that nothing is wrong with my kidneys, I asked him to tell me what he saw ,he told me that he will send the result directly to the surgeon and they can discuss it with me,he also sympathetically said "you are going to have to make plans soon as to the rest of your life,with very frank and sad face, poor guy I felt that he needed a hug ,I told him that I had made all necessary plans , you should see the relief on his face, it was comical. I hugged him in my mind. The fact that he wouldn't say what he saw on the scan tells me that my goose ,if not totally cooked  it's definately in the oven. not to worry I am planning to get out, or at least try. He gave me naproxen and oxycodone as if to say go knock yourself out. thanks to naproxen  I had a full night sleep. This too is life,interesting how things changes every day that we wake, thanks to the Creator for the 'waking part'  .

Will update on 21st .when I will know exactly what other parts have joined my pelvis in their joint plan to kill me ,shiiiitttt!!!

May NED blessings fall on the lot of us quickly or the courage to accept the things that can't be changed by our actions.

I am hugging my sisters. Plenty Love, Moli.

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

 

And yet, in spite of it all, you continue to show such strength and grace.  You hugged the doctor in your mind!  Such a gentle soul you are, Moli.  I am rooting for a good outcome from your surgery and look forward to hearing an update from you on the 21st. Have you told your girls that you will be having surgery soon?

Nuff love, my dear,

Cathy 

Pages

Subscribe to Comments for "Moli updating."