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foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Well,...Spent this past week in the finast institution in America. Yale New-Haven Smilow cancer hospital. Short story. Near total loss of right arm. 70% loss of left. Clots in arm and lungs. Tumor growth from base of brain to about T-2 down spinal canal. Around some nerve roots. And rt. brachial plexus. Did not expect to be here anymore. Bottom line, Radiation, votrient, steroids, anti co-agulants. First of 10 radiation treatments done. Return as op Monday-fri. for 2 weeks. Fatigue to the nth degree for hours after trying to shower and dress this am. Will post as capable. Not likely to keep up with everyones posts. I apologize. See you toward the other end. Whichever one it is.

Fox loves you.

jason.2835
Posts: 337
Joined: Nov 2014

What an amazingly well written post, my friend. You are an inspiration to us all. Back from the brink to keep giving us hell. You are the MAN. 

Dave418's picture
Dave418
Posts: 95
Joined: Aug 2014

A Fighter, that's what you are!! I really doubt anyone but you could survive that much and still be writing on this page. You are teaching me a lesson right now, something we hear a lot...Never give up!!!! From now on, every time i'll hear that phrase, i'll think of you. You are the incarnation of never, ever,  giving up. 

 

Merci

Dave

Bellweather
Posts: 100
Joined: Jun 2013

Fox, your account of keeping the flame burning hjt close to home for me.  While I have not personally experienced this, even near kidney failure during Hdil2, it is similar for me to an unrelated incident.  In 1969 I was 6 years old and the youngest of 9 stuck upstairs in our house on the MS Gulf Coast with 7 feet of water downstairs and 200mph+ winds outside.  The house miraculously stood and we all lived.  Many years later I asked my mother what the meaning of the  poorly painted picture of a candle outside of her bedroom door was and what significance it had.  She explained that during Hurricane Camille there was one small candle, amongst many that went out,  that would flicker, almost to the point of going out, but never did.  She said that she was certain thatIif it were to go out, we all would perish.   

Keep the candle burning my brother, you are the guiding light for so many and give us all hope, we love you my man!

angec's picture
angec
Posts: 924
Joined: Mar 2012

I am still waiting for the story, everything you posted here was a piece of cake for you after all you have been through! But, seriously though, how did it come to that point? Was it the fast growing tumor on the back on spine? So glad the radiation is taking care of it.  Now your arms will recover also. All in good time! You are a hero, a great encouragement to us all!  Keep on keeping on, doing what you do best!  You are like a cat with nine lives, but each year you add another life! That is the way to do it!  ELF!  Big hugs and love and such!

I am alive
Posts: 316
Joined: Jul 2012

Oh Fox, thank you for giving such a detailed description of your scary experience. I think your sharing of these unnerving details is just as important as your steadfast call to " Fight! Fight! And never give up." it will remind me in the future  when I myself am slipping over the edge, or caught in a frightening downward spiral, that all is not necessarily lost. This disease is so capricious. I'll think of your odyssey and remember to keep an eye on the light, even when it's barely visible.

Damn right you're on a big bounce back! 

Darron's picture
Darron
Posts: 310
Joined: Jun 2013

Fox

You made my day. Nice to have you back from the edge.

Stay strong and keep the good positive attitude going.

danbren2's picture
danbren2
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

Fox,

     It is so nice to hear from you, and to know that you are much better! Love, prayers, energy, and anything else I can send you is on its way!

                                     Keep getting better!

                                      Love, Brenda

 

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3264
Joined: Jan 2010

The comments from Brenda and Darron assume the top comment on the page was just posted by Fox. In fact CSN puts the initial post on the top of each new page and that post is 3 weeks old. I hope Fox is doing better.

 

Icemantoo

 

Srashedb
Posts: 482
Joined: Dec 2013

he posted an update over the weekend 

Sarah

jason.2835
Posts: 337
Joined: Nov 2014

He posted a comment on Feb 20 saying he had a story to tell and to be patient.... Hard to be patient, however.  Undecided

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

what is going on with the posts. Maybe it is too long a thread. My post was on monday the 23rd. It was about my end of the line experience and my resolve. I'm not out of the woods yet. We'll see how I handle the votrient.

jason.2835
Posts: 337
Joined: Nov 2014

These forums, in my opinion, are in desperate need of an update... they need to be more like Facebook.  They are not that use friendly or easy to use.  That being said, it's the least of you worries my friend.  Be well!

Srashedb
Posts: 482
Joined: Dec 2013

go back through the posts and you will find his story; it is quite a tale. 

Sarah

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mar 2014

Nothing wrong with the posts that I can see. Fox did post and update with the story and I believe that's what people are responding to lately, not the original.

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1325
Joined: Oct 2013

Foxy, YOU are the best!

That description of how you nearly crossed over.. words cannot express how it touched me.

You're still here.. and for that fight and will to keep trying, I need to THANK YOU!!

Will continue to bombard your fight against cancer with our love and strength.

We still need you. And yes, it is okay to need us too!

 

Thinking of you big guy!

Hugs, Jan

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

How do I thank everyone? I think the correct way will be in regaining my independence. Tomorrows plan is to work on some neuro developemental stability exercises to see if I can get function at my hips and shoulders.

The thing that amazes me is that I remain absolutely exhausted. When I come downstairs in the morning, about 7 am, I can sit in my chair for easily 8 hours without even getting up to use the bathroom. It has to be the votrient. But I will deal with it a bit longer to ensure that the votrient has every chance to do it's job.

My foot drop is of concern. So we had the radiation oncologist take another look at my imaging. He called and wants to see me friday. Shoot. Maybe he just wants a picture together. I'll go with that at least until friday.

If I haven't said it, I want everyone to know that my wife is the most wonderful person in the world. She is attentive to all my needs. Then to top it off, she has been working with the votrient manufacturer. And guess what? I am getting the drug for FREE!!!!! This year will be our 40th anniversary. I owe her big time. Is it all still Karma? I am so lucky.

So I am alive and recovering. Couldn't ask for more. I faced death but held on. I am surprised at how well I'm handling it all. There is much work ahead of me but I'm game.

FLY. Fox loves you.

Ree_Maryland's picture
Ree_Maryland
Posts: 158
Joined: May 2014

kudos to you for the fighting in all this KUDOS to your wife for helping and hanging in with you . 

Srashedb
Posts: 482
Joined: Dec 2013

got you beat by 3 years! That is awesome that you get the votrient free. What I have heard about the fatigue is that it may take the same amount of time to recover as the length of the treatment so if it was 2 weeks, then it might be 2 weeks to improve 

of course, the votrient is a factor but it is really great to hear from you.

my husband has a follow-up with the radiation oncologist next week; she does it after a month so we are not expecting bad news.

take care of yourself and let your wife help; it feels good and useful as a caregiver 

i have no idea why the letters are crossed off

Sarah

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

It seems that the votrient is doing its job, Foxy. I pray that it continues to knock that cancer on its a$$. I know you will focus on yourself and getting back to your old self.

And your wife? Please give her a big kiss from all of us. We do understand (and appreciate) her wanting to take good care of you - our Silver Fox!

Big hugs

Jojo

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mar 2014

So good to hear from you, Fox. Keep kicking cancer in the a$$! And yes, kudos to your wife and to those 40 years (42 for me)!

cancerat46's picture
cancerat46
Posts: 52
Joined: Feb 2013

Good people get good karma rebound and you are one of the BEST!  All the best to you and your fighter of a wife as well...40 years is fantastic, congrats!

Positive_Mental_Attitude's picture
Positive_Mental...
Posts: 454
Joined: Jul 2014

Fox, you are a lucky man to have such a devoted and caring wife.  Keep fighting the fight.  Jimmy Valvano said: "Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever."   Your perseverance is amazing.

 

 

brea588's picture
brea588
Posts: 240
Joined: Jul 2012

So soglad to see you are doing some better.  You have a wonderful wife by your side helping you, and what a support system that is to have.  Have been wondering about you and praying for you.  Will continue to pray everyday for you Fox.  You mean so very much to me and I am sure everyone on this forum.  When you said Is it all still Karma???  No my friend , its Karma and your friends on here praying for you.  I will continue  every day to pray for you.  Im not being disrespectful or trying to force my beliefs upon you, I care much for you.When you was talking about the dim light you seen, wlhen so sick  reminds me of a little song we sing sometime at church  This little light of Mine Im going to let it shine.  Hope you continue to improve.  Love you Sue

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Offering prayers is not disrespectful to me. My religion is being good to people. How it is returned is the power behind the force. It is all cumalitive.(sp?). Thank you. You know I pull for you also. Power is in numbers. I'll tell you something about my support team. If not for my wife, family and friends, I would be in a nursing home. Or not here at all. I am beginning to see real improvements in my function. I will not squander the chance I've been given. (or is it my 3rd or 4th chance?) Without everyones support, it would not have been possible on my own.

FLY. Fox.

DMike's picture
DMike
Posts: 259
Joined: Nov 2011

Hi Fox,

Think about you often and wish you the best. I still think you are a badass! Motorcycle and bicycle seasons are close, so keep fighting! I am.

David

danbren2's picture
danbren2
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

Fox,

     What a neverending inspiration you are! I feel better just for knowing you!  Sending more strengh, karma, and love your way to help with your recovery! Continue being strong and beating that Cancer back once again!!

                                            Always, prayers for good health!

                                              Brenda

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Like they say, You can run but you can't hide. The trick to beating cancer is to get old before the cancer finds you. I'm trying to figure out how to do that. I have had a miserable time so far. So weak, no endurance what so ever. It can take me 2 hours to shower and dress. That's with my wifes help. Whether it is the votrient or radiation, my mouth and throat have been raw. Eat they say. Hell, can't even open my mouth. I was feeling so rotten they had me take 4 days off from the votrient.

Then this morning came along. And I feel really good! Throat is 85% better. I need a cane to amb. due to foot drop. So I saw the radiation oncologist on friday. He was disappointed that I didn't see him first. (he did my radiation 2 years ago with awesome results.) He said he can clean up any issues should they develope. He is reviewing all my imaging and we will discuss it later this week.That's great.

Anyway, today is a wonderful day. Amb. better. Able to do some exercise at a low level. But that is so promising. I'm taking 400mg of the votrient and dosage will be adjusted as an ongoing process. I sure hope I can tolerate an effective dose. Then it will be up to me to regain my independence. Hell, I've got motorcycle events to attend. And I want to RIDE!!

So today is 4 years since my diagnosis and nephectomy. Give or take a few days. And 3 years beyond my expiration date. Overall not bad. I have much faith in my caregivers and more in myself. If I can ride my bike this year, then I would put $ on having made a comeback  from being the sickest member here with a future ahead of me. I really have a tough time thinking about these last 6 weeks. I can't do much with my dominant right arm. Disapoints me that I can't play my guitars yet. But I am certain to regain enough to play agin, and soon.

So, is life good or what? I'm gonna miss a beer now and then, so if anyone knows of a good near beer, let me know. I'm getting thirsty.

FLY.

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 907
Joined: Nov 2014

Awesome news!!! Fox, you WILL ride a bike, you WILL play guitar again!

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mar 2014

So glad things are better today and they will be from here on. I agree with Allochka; you will do all of those things.

Ree_Maryland's picture
Ree_Maryland
Posts: 158
Joined: May 2014

If you like Bush my hubby drinks Bush NA . he seems to like it  , hope all goes well , take care ,

nsb748's picture
nsb748
Posts: 90
Joined: Feb 2014

There is a "fancier" near beer called Buckler I think.  Supposedly it tastes more like a craft beer

I've never been a fan of near beer though.  I drink alcohol to get a buzz.  If I want something that tastes good I drink Diet Mountain Dew aka the nectar of the gods

firedude21
Posts: 52
Joined: Sep 2014

Fox -

I'm so sorry to hear about all that you're going through. You would think that enough is enough. It does seem that maybe things are starting to look better for you. I sure hope so.  I appreciate the support that you gave me when I first joined this forum. You helped me to get through many a tough day. I really believe that with your wife by your side you will get through this chapter in your life. It won't be easy but you will get through it. And yes, you will ride again. 

 

keep the faith -

firedude21

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Hey Foxy,

So happy to hear from you. And look how far you have come already...you will be strumming the guitar and riding your bike in no time!

You rock!

Hugs

Jojo

dhs1963's picture
dhs1963
Posts: 510
Joined: May 2012

Fox, I can not help you with a near beer, as that is like drinking decaf....what is the point?

 

But remember, there is a time when you have to say F*** IT!  and have a beer.  Ask your oncologist....I am not saying that is today....I had a friend who (at 35) had bile duct cancer with mets to the liver.  His Oncologist said be nice to the liver.  But, he gave him permission to have a glass of wine on an occaision....

 

marosa's picture
marosa
Posts: 333
Joined: Feb 2015

FOX you are "too amazing for words" and English is not even my 2nd language!  YOU ROCK!!!!!!Cool

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Reminds me of my las couple brain scans. People ask or suggest hat they didn't find anything in my head. But I tell them they found rocks, and the second scan was to find out what kind of rocks they are!

For now I'll stay away from the beer as I need to avoid new problems. But part of what drives me is attending my summer biker parties. Enuff said.

foroughsh's picture
foroughsh
Posts: 775
Joined: Oct 2014

Fox, often think of you, really happy to hear good news, sure you'll ride your motorcycle and play a nice music with the guitar, and ofcource beer this summer, you are our fox

Forough

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll prove you right.

shaval123
Posts: 9
Joined: Nov 2014

Glad you are still here. Praying for you.

Sharon

 

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

I am feeling better. The votrient is tough on me. But I'll get used to it. Lots of rehab ahead of me. From lifting weights to stretching rubber bands. Sheesh. So many responses to my down turn. So many friends. Thank You all. Boy, do I want to go for a bike ride and get a beer. Our 2 feet of snow that is still left gives me more time to get stronger.

shamrocklady's picture
shamrocklady
Posts: 20
Joined: Feb 2014

I am relieved to hear you are feeling better now! It's been over a year since I joined this forum. When I was scared and new here, you were one of the first few to help alleviate my anxiety. Hoping that snow melts soon!

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Foxy, you rock! Your progression is admirable to say the least! Hoping that snow is melting fast for you. I can actually see some of our pool cover in our back yard! Woo hoo!

Here in Canada, on every Friday the 13th, bike riders get on their bikes and drive to a place called Port Dover. The last one was in February and it was SO cold, there was only one rider who showed up! A lot more showed up this week - a good sign! It is a hoot. I have been before and it was packed with thousands of bikes and bikers. Just seeing all the cool bikes and all different types of people....it is always very entertaining! Keep your eye on the prize, Foxy!

Hugs

Jojo

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1325
Joined: Oct 2013

Fox and JoJo=melt the snow.. melt the snow.. melt the snow

so you can get out and PLAY..RIDE and have that beer!

Keep those enjoyable memories going as your body will

respond to such joy!!

 

Thanks for the updates about your struggles Fox!

Appreciate YOU more than you know! Well, NOW

you do know!! LOL

Seems you didn't "leave" us..

Guess there is another plan.. and more living in this life~

Your rehab is your job right now eh? Remember, the CSN

posse continues to surround you offering YOU our strength

and perseverance!

 

Gentle hugs, Jan

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

You are always the sweetest thing. Thank you. FLY.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

you are getting my blood flowing. If I can get this right arm going, I'll be riding. I would hate to hit the events in my truck. Although, I've done it before.

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

How do you do it? I always found working out mind shatteringly dull. So my rehab mainly consists of taking the dog for a walk. Any hints?

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Footstomper, I've exercised and weight trained since I was 12. Nothing heavey duty but I stay in shape. I've been running since my mid 20's and I'll be 63 this month. It is like brushing my teeth. Part of my daily routine. At this point, still amazingly weak. Just walking 100' is tough. I'll keep pluging.

cancerat46's picture
cancerat46
Posts: 52
Joined: Feb 2013

I'm on my back deck today (which is in bloomington in) and it is 61 degrees and sun, sun,sun.  Just gorgeous!!!!  I'm trying to send this weather your way in my thoughts, Fox!  A ride is coming your way very soon, keep gaining your strength and you'll be flying down the highway in no time!  Glad to hear you're doing better!  

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Go ahead c@46, rub it in. As if I haven't dealt with enuff. You guys out west from here had a much better winter than us.

Positive_Mental_Attitude's picture
Positive_Mental...
Posts: 454
Joined: Jul 2014

I'm about 60-70 miles south of Foxhd in New Jersey.  Went hiking with my son today--a cold mid 40's, with a stiff wind.  Trails still covered with a hard pack of ice.  Made it interesting going up and down the hills, but it was good exercise, and good fun with my son.

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