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needing prayers

jas1973
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2015

My mom found out nearly a month ago she has stage 4  kidney cancer. Mom has been being treated for arthritis in her hip for months and months. At long last she finally went to er when her drs office couldnt give her  referrals or  appointments until 2 months out.  Mom was hospitalized for a week  and found that it has metastasized to a large spot on her hip and some small nodules in her lungs and a bump on her scalp.  It was all too much information at once,when we thought she had arthritis. The mass on her kidney was described as massive and will need an open syrgery to take it out. Because of her declining health they put off the surgery for her to build up her strength and gave her 10 radiation treatments on her hip to alleviate the pain.   Moms pain is still there but the radiologist assured her that the cancer cells  on her hip bone was killed. Mom has been so nervous and frightened of this upcoming surgery.  Yesterday was just awful, she was finally getting stronger and then she had to drink that magnesium citrate to clean out her bowels. It made her so weak and sick... she was up all night and  this morning she is so tired... we are here at the hospital waiting as she is getting prepped for this surgery. My dad is with her, but for a man who has never been good at showing emotion, he is a wreck.  

For a week or two I have been reading and searching this site for similarities and I have read so many of your stories. I'm so sorry what everyone has been through, but I'm very grateful  for all you have all shared about yourselves.  I've been trying to give my mom and dad hope by sharing some of your tories.  Mom has asthma and had trouble with anesthesia in the past so she has such anxiety about this surgery.  I've been trying to assure her they know what they are doing and they are going  take good care of her.

So here I am  waiting and praying 

 

 

foroughsh's picture
foroughsh
Posts: 775
Joined: Oct 2014

Hi, so sorry for all of this. I think it's nothing as bad as a doc telling you you have cancer except one, and that is to know your mom has it. When I realized I had cancer (I'm 36) I couldn't think of anything except my mom. What will happen to her if she loses her only child!!!   I feel dealing with mom's cancer is very difficult but I hope you are one of those strong guys who can manage how to deal with it. All i needed in those first months was to hear success stories, positive thoughts and prayers. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers, sending her my best wishes for full recovery.

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

In all the turmoil your mom thinks she is lucky to have produced such caring and loving offspring. It will mean so much to her as she goes through her ordeal

Dutch1's picture
Dutch1
Posts: 148
Joined: Mar 2014

You have my prayers for your mother and the family.  I pray that peace and strength will be there for you all.  Know that the doctors can do marvelous things, regardless of how tough the circumstances might be.

Dutch

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1949
Joined: Mar 2014

You and your family are in my prayers. Please let us know how the surgery went and how your mom is doing.

jas1973
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2015

Thank you  so much for all your words of kindness. Doing my best to stay strong for both of them. 

all of you are an inspiration

I will give an update when I can

my prayers are with all of you as well

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Oh Jas, so very sad to hear your story. It can't be easy. But you and your dad are there for her, and you also have our prayers and support.

Please keep us posted.

Hugs

Jojo

jas1973
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2015

The kidney has successfully been removed and the surgery went very well. The dr said it was approx 10 cm, but all of it was still contained and no other visible signs of cancer to her surrounding organs. He was very happy and feels that she did so well she will not need ICU,as previously suggested. He left us saying he was on his way to call her oncologist.  

This group really has given me a lot of strength knowing we are not alone in this. 

Thank you again for your prayers we have been blessed today

Terri065's picture
Terri065
Posts: 81
Joined: Dec 2014

Jas, so happy to hear surgery went well. My prayers are with you and your family. 

God bless,

Theresa

 

cran1's picture
cran1
Posts: 139
Joined: Mar 2013

Outstanding news! Thoughts and prayers with your mother and you.

todd121's picture
todd121
Posts: 1425
Joined: Dec 2012

Happy to hear the surgery went smoothly. Sending thoughts of healing, peace, strength to you all.

Todd

sblairc's picture
sblairc
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2014

So glad to hear the good news. And welcome!!

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1949
Joined: Mar 2014

Very glad to hear it all went well. Wishing your mom and your family the best.

brea588's picture
brea588
Posts: 240
Joined: Jul 2012

so sorry your mom is so sick.  I will be praying for you and her and your dad.  Iknow this is hard for hime too.  Prayers

jas1973
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2015

Thank you for all you prayers for my mom and dad and our family. Mom is doing really well and today she has finally been allowed to eat solid food. They are hoping to send her home this evening. My mothers recovery is going so well and she has amazed her drs. We were told she would need to spend  at least 2 days in ICU  after surgery, and then a week in the hospital and the to a rehab for another week. 

Mom never needed to go to ICU and she is leaving the hospital only 4 days after her surgery to go home and not a rehab facility. She has been up and walking since the day after, little by little.  We are looking forward to meeting with her oncologist so she can start  some form of treatment . Now that  she is off of the morphine pump her other pains from where the cancer had spread to have started to reappear again.  Praying that we can get this under control for her so  she won't hurt anymore...

FLOSSER
Posts: 17
Joined: Jul 2012

For you ,your Mom & family. I hope your Mom will be stronger each day. There are so many treatments to try. Glad you found CSN . SUZ 

shaval123
Posts: 9
Joined: Nov 2014

Know that your Mom and family are in my prayers. Stay as positive as you can because prayer works and God makes the impossible POSSIBLE.

Bless you.

 

jas1973
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2015

So grateful for all the prayers....my mom was able to start  800mgVotrient and has been on it 1 full week now. She is awfully tired and nausea with it. also trying to get her pain managed properly..this has not been easy because my father is worried she is being over medicated. He has been trying to make her take fewer pain pills and she doesn't want to upset him  so she refuses her pain meds and suffers. My dad is upset and doesn't want us taking over. He fights my sister and I over everything we do.   My mom needs us and we are there for her as much as we possibly can be. I don't know how to get him understand how important it is to get her pain under control. I'm trying not to fight with my father, but I can't watch my mom suffer unnecessarily. my mom is so weak and gets confused as to what to do because of my father's temper. He doesn't know how to handle her being like this and is in complete denial of every aspect.  For the first few days my mom was so positive she even told me that she could feel her tumors shrinking. Now it feels as though my dad's negativity is wreaking havoc.  how do I help them to have peace and some positive thinking?  

Jas

 

 

 

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 871
Joined: Nov 2014

It is very-very hard to advise something in a situation like this... From one side - everything should be about your mom and her interests, because she has cancer and has to fight hard for her help.

On the other hand - I'm sure you dad loves her dearly and has her best interests at heart (as he understands them). And as  caregiver myself, I know how hard it is for us to watch loved ones suffer. So you dad needs support too.

As for over-medication - it happened to my aunt once, she was following docs' advises and got overmedicated, which made her act like someone with Alzheimers. As soon as dosages were decreased, she went back to her former sharp self. So overmedication can happen.

 

Perhaps the best thing for you sister and you to do would be to talk calmly to your dad, trying to support and understand him as well? The goal is to act like family and to support you mom, not to fight each other...

Hugs to you, I know it is hard.

 

NanoSecond's picture
NanoSecond
Posts: 653
Joined: Oct 2012

Does your dad respect her doctor(s)?  If so, have one of them write a prescription that says that she is not to suffer any pain, etc...

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

I was thinking the same thing, Neil. The "older generation" usually really respects whatever the doctor says. However, I remember my mom was also hesitant on taking pain pills - worrying about becoming addicted to pain pills - she was stage IV lung cancer! Addiction was the least of our worries. Another option is to ask your dad what he is afraid of, as far as being over medicated. Try and lay out the pros of the medication (quality of life, help her get healthier faster, feel more positive about getting better, etc.)

Wishing you all the best.

Hugs

Jojo

jas1973
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2015

Yes,  I guess my father has reached his limits and there is unfortunately no way of speaking with him calmly.  We are calm but he has met his breaking point.  He is partially deaf and has told us he will hear what he wants to hear.  I'm emotionally exhausted with him, but I will do my best to remain calm and continue to aid in my our mothers care.  I guess that I was so overewhelmed and couldn't sleep last night , it helped to not feel alone with all of this.  

 Nano, I'm hoping the drs.will help, we have a script for pallaitive care and perhaps that appointment will also help with some ways of coping.  

Aside from tiredness and nausea, so far mom is handling the votrient quite well.  Just praying we see some results with it, this will be uplifting for both of them.  I believe staying positive is so important,  especially after reading so many posts from so many of you all here on this board.  You all inspire me every day. I also  have shared so many of your stories with my mom.  I've learned so much here and have been able to give a lot of insight about the various treatments available.  Because of all of you here you continue to shine the light  in what started out as such a dark place. 

I know we will get to a much better place with my dad,  we are a strong family, just going through  a  rough patch

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 871
Joined: Nov 2014

This rough patch will definitely bring you all even closer, l'm sure of it. It is understandable that you are exhausted, but your family is very lucky to have you...

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