Here’s The Deal….Test Results Now In…

245

Comments

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    maglets said:

    maybe

    maybe sometimes we just know too much....having been round too many times.  so so sorry Craig....having to start over is a great big drag.....hoping with all my heart you can just turn it down for a few whiles until you really know something more specific.....

    sending love......mags

    Maybe, Maggie...

    "Knowing" carries with it a certain sense of awareness that at times can feel crippling...and even suffocating...

    There are many times when I wish I didn't know anymore...

    The naivete stage of any endeavor are truly precious moments...for they carry with them that sense of newness and unawareness of what lies before them...which gives one the strength and courage to attempt something with no preconceived ideas of the pitfalls or the outcomes...

    I feel there is something there...it looked pretty evident to me...but we will flesh it out...and things will be alright. 

    It's business as usual for me...I'm planning the next steps and working on contingency plans for what may be coming up rather soon. 

    It's only (maybe) cancer.....and I'm still going to make my 10-years....you won't wanna' miss that one, my dear Canuck:)

  • AnnLouise
    AnnLouise Member Posts: 276
    Craig....

    Sorry you have to start dealing with all this again....I only know what I have experienced but had good results with both sir spheres and SBRT. Any questions with either one, let me know. Thinking of you and wishing the best.....~ Ann

     

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    AnnLouise said:

    Craig....

    Sorry you have to start dealing with all this again....I only know what I have experienced but had good results with both sir spheres and SBRT. Any questions with either one, let me know. Thinking of you and wishing the best.....~ Ann

     

    It's not definite, Ann, but

    It's not definite, Ann, but it's leaning towards it and I hope to have more information next week after the PET.

    I've done all kinds of radiation....external, Cyberknife, IMRT.....and SBRT is like Cyberknife, so I'm not too worried about anything.

    I'm glad you did well with the Spheres...I know you and one other lady who have done well.....one of my first friends here did not fare so well unfortunately and she passed shortly after the procedure....went into a coma. 

    I understand the risks....but he does not appear to be leaning this way.....looking like either RFA or the rads at this point.

    Thanks for your support and I'll be just fine!

  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900
    goodluck with treatments

    you will find a way, i was interested that tace was poo pood, thats life. different opinions everywhere we turn.

    hugs,

    pete

  • Varmint5
    Varmint5 Member Posts: 384
    Rotten news, Craig

    It must be hard to just wait and watch. But for some reason, I just have so much confidence in your ability to knock this back down again with Cyberknife if you need to. It worked for you before and I believe it will work for you again. Hang in there. I'm pulling for you with all the others.

    Sandy

  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111
    Craig:

    With tears and a heavy heart, I am so sorry you may be back in the fight

    Hugs - Tina

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    goodluck with treatments

    you will find a way, i was interested that tace was poo pood, thats life. different opinions everywhere we turn.

    hugs,

    pete

    Pete

    My onc didn't dismiss TACE....and said they do it at my facility (NCI), which was terrific, as it offered an option for cancer patients in our area, without having to travel somewhere else for the procedure. 

    His medical optinion was that he felt that it would not be appropriate for my condition.  When you read the stats on it, it's not a home run by any means, but good that it is offered and available.   

    If this area is contained, then RFA or SBRT looks to be the most minimally invasive methods to choose from...

    But, there was no Poo-Paa from my onc....I just wanted to clarify that. 

    We had a frank, open discussion about all the options....and I took the lead in the consult and basically led the discussion. 

    He listened to me intently and acknowledged my concerns and seemed geneuinely interested that I've got my head wrapped around this and was aware of available treatment options.  I was able to lay out this discussion in the cool, calm manner that I always approach my cancer fight with. 

    I treat cancer like a business deal...

     And I will get it done...

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Varmint5 said:

    Rotten news, Craig

    It must be hard to just wait and watch. But for some reason, I just have so much confidence in your ability to knock this back down again with Cyberknife if you need to. It worked for you before and I believe it will work for you again. Hang in there. I'm pulling for you with all the others.

    Sandy

    Thank You, Sandy...

    For some reason, the waiting is harder this time around...

    I think it's because I've been in strong fight mode the past 3-years with my last cancer....partial recovery.....then all of my dad's mess for 16 precious months.....and then just trying to work on all the things that were neglected in our own lives....and just beginning to think that there may be a life after cancer for me....

    And so, I'm a lot less patient than I normally am......I'm okay now....I had the breath taken out of me last week....now, I don't feel it...I'm into the business side of it now.

    I just want to know what and where it's at...and then get on with it...

    I've got to fight smarter - not harder, this time around....

    I hope to know more next week...

    Thank you as always:)

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    geotina said:

    Craig:

    With tears and a heavy heart, I am so sorry you may be back in the fight

    Hugs - Tina

    Hi Tina:)

    "I know."

    And you know, it will be okay....my toes are always tappin'...

    Cool

    Thank you for checking in - always nice to see you....no worries, ok?

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    Have you in my prayers. 

    Have you in my prayers.  Wolfen had a good idea there for the back pain.  Hugs and Prayers.  Kim

     

    Thanks, Kim

    Let's hope next week provides more clarity....

  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428
    Wishing You Well

    Craig,

    I still stalk the Board sometimes and saw you are going through a tough time.  You helped me through several of those and I wish I could use words to help you through yours but lack the talent.  Sounds like you are being proactive about researching a good treatment plan and that's good.  I hope whatever treatment is decided leaves you able to both enjoy life and continue to help others.  You are a class act!

     

    Lisa

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    buckeye2 said:

    Wishing You Well

    Craig,

    I still stalk the Board sometimes and saw you are going through a tough time.  You helped me through several of those and I wish I could use words to help you through yours but lack the talent.  Sounds like you are being proactive about researching a good treatment plan and that's good.  I hope whatever treatment is decided leaves you able to both enjoy life and continue to help others.  You are a class act!

     

    Lisa

    Hi there, Lisa...

    Your presence says more to me than words ever could:)

    BTW, just so we know that 'some' good can come out of cancer....and because, you might not have seen the post prior to this one...and because, you were aware of my writing....and how I had a dead-spell there for 25-years thanks to an errant professor against a fragile ego that I was carrying back then.....

    One of the ladies here, Jen2012, showed me a link to Coping Magazine - this is a major publication as it turns out, Lisa:)

    So, this was significant...and a milestone achievement....took a couple of years and the help from a community member to help me realize that something I wrote finally will make it to print in some fashion. 

    Anyway, they had a "word-limit" for their submissions.....go over the number....and adios...

    Of course, that didn't stop me...I've never been bound by rules when I don't wanna':)

    So, I wrote her a couple of stories...and re-wrote each of them at least twice to try and shrink it enough to fit their format....one of my articles was double the length.....and the other was three-times the minimum...

    LOL!

    But, she did know that, because I told her in advance of sending anything in...but, she saw something...and her and her staff picked one story to be published in an upcoming release of their magazine - "The Story of Big Billy."

    Out of the other article, they grabbed 3 quotes from the other article that they will use sporadically somewhere among the issues...they don't always do quotes with every issue. 

    Here is the link for you....if you ever want to check it out:) 

    http://csn.cancer.org/node/259864

    I've thought about you and wondered what had been going on....I happened to catch a post and wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your husband...I know how hard it has been for you both.

    I'm certainly glad to see my old pal - $I2

    As always thank you for your kind words and support....

    -Craig

     

     

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    jjaj133 said:

    My dear friend,
    I am sending

    My dear friend,

    I am sending love, prayers and hugs your way.

    I am also thoroughly pissed off, so I am sending  strength and determination.

    Love you,

    Judy

    Oh, Judy...

    For some reason, I'm not really angry....

    In a way, right now, I'm not feeling much of anything.....it's odd.

    I think, perhaps, because I'm in my business mode of cancer...

    I'm really more disappointed...thought that liver involvement was behind....I had gone 5-years clear there. 

    And I'm disappointed that after I had worked so hard to get back to the starting line, I may have to start back at the end of the pack again...

    This scan was supposed to make me feel good about making it 2-years and a clear or stable report would have given me hope that I finally might join the multitudes who are now going 3-4-5 years with all clear scans....

    And while we don't absolutely know just yet...I hope to find out more next week...but, still I feel the weight from it all...but am just approaching it as another business deal.

    Maybe, I'm still numb to the fact and despite thinking about a great many things, I haven't had time to properly assimilate what I'm supposed to be feeling.

    What am I supposed to be feeling?

    How should any of us feel if we were facing cancer the 4th time?

    Maybe, its Enlightenment telling me that this is the way it will always be for me...and while I cognizantly recognize that on the surface, perhaps I'm not accepting it on the inside.

    Or, maybe I've accepted it, but don't really want to acknowledge its existence....because, then that makes it real.

    And, maybe, I just want it all to be done. 

    Having it made it now 9-years, I can tell all of you with absolutely certainty...

    I'm tired...

    I remain hopeful that this battle will not drag on too long - and be chemo free...

    All in all, I remain blessed...

    Maybe, the next period of remission will be mine...

    You know, Judy...secretly, I know the source of my frustration was wasting 16-precious months out of the 24-month clear period, working on my dad's stuff....I knew it then, but couldn't change it.

    I justified my feelings by saying the timing was good and bad....good that I could do it in a remissive state....and bad, that I HAD to do it in a remissive state.

    I guess I feel like I was robbed....

    Send me anything you can - but honestly, I'll settle for a ham sandwich if you can slap some of that in between two pieces of bread with a slice of cheese, LOL!

    You'd have my undying affection:)

    But, you've already got that:)

    No worries, gal.....

    Love/C

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    LindaK. said:

    Ditto

    What Chelsea said.  I was so anxious to hear about your appointment.  Sounds like you have a great onc and together you will develop a plan to deal with whatever is going on.  Thanks for the detailed update, I learn more from you each day  :-) 

    Linda

    Linda

    I think you and Jeff were more anxious than I was, LOL!

    We'll see what we can see....and then, we'll know what to do:)

     

  • barbebarb
    barbebarb Member Posts: 464
    Sundanceh said:

    Hi there, Lisa...

    Your presence says more to me than words ever could:)

    BTW, just so we know that 'some' good can come out of cancer....and because, you might not have seen the post prior to this one...and because, you were aware of my writing....and how I had a dead-spell there for 25-years thanks to an errant professor against a fragile ego that I was carrying back then.....

    One of the ladies here, Jen2012, showed me a link to Coping Magazine - this is a major publication as it turns out, Lisa:)

    So, this was significant...and a milestone achievement....took a couple of years and the help from a community member to help me realize that something I wrote finally will make it to print in some fashion. 

    Anyway, they had a "word-limit" for their submissions.....go over the number....and adios...

    Of course, that didn't stop me...I've never been bound by rules when I don't wanna':)

    So, I wrote her a couple of stories...and re-wrote each of them at least twice to try and shrink it enough to fit their format....one of my articles was double the length.....and the other was three-times the minimum...

    LOL!

    But, she did know that, because I told her in advance of sending anything in...but, she saw something...and her and her staff picked one story to be published in an upcoming release of their magazine - "The Story of Big Billy."

    Out of the other article, they grabbed 3 quotes from the other article that they will use sporadically somewhere among the issues...they don't always do quotes with every issue. 

    Here is the link for you....if you ever want to check it out:) 

    http://csn.cancer.org/node/259864

    I've thought about you and wondered what had been going on....I happened to catch a post and wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your husband...I know how hard it has been for you both.

    I'm certainly glad to see my old pal - $I2

    As always thank you for your kind words and support....

    -Craig

     

     

    Your perspective

    Dear Craig:

    I like your way of treating cancer like a business deal but still do not like that you have to deal

    with another reoccurance, as part of the negotiation!  The options sound good and hopefully will be easier than previous!

    I have my second Sirtex procedure to attack the left side of the liver on 7/2. It really has gone

    smoothly but I know all those tests will occur at the beginning of August and who knows for me.

    Sending positive vibes and a big hug - we all look up to you and you have helped me so much!

    Being a Texan, too, I know you will knock this down, guns loaded, spurs, cutting the deal, whatever it takes-

    Barb

     

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Chelsea71 said:

    Well, I am relieved. It
    Well, I am relieved. It could have been worse. You know, to some extent, what you're dealing with. It appears to be in your liver only which means that they should be able to target it directly vs systemically. You're just going to have to dig down deep within yourself and muster whatever it takes to put this next chapter behind you. You set an example for people within this group and we rely on you. You will share your experience with people here (in your usual eloquent style) and we will support you every step of the way. I just wish you didn't have to go through it again....You don't deserve this. None of us do.

    Chels

    Hey Chels:)

    You know, Chels...

    Sometimes, I think that I raised the bar too high for myself...

    I had forgotten that people are watching...and they are looking at  how you comport yourself and handle constant adversity...

    Perhaps, through others - we see what we want to be. 

    I've always underestimated the impact and responsibility that comes along with that.  All of us are looking for living examples out there to help us gauge our reactions and thought processes to help tell us if we're staying in between the white lines.

    I'm no different in that regard either...

    But, I felt a hush over this crowd when the news broke....and for a moment, I thought what have I done?  Have I destroyed Hope for others?  Or am I just telling the real-life story of Cancer?

    When the BB story publishes officially, I'm going to post a link.....and then try and enjoy that the 2nd time around....we were all robbed of that good news...and I think that's still what upsets me the most.

    Thank you as always and my best to Steve!

    You too!

    -c

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    just dont

    know what to say as tears are streaming down my face....(((((HUGS))))) my dearest friend...Godbless...johnnybegood

    Dear J:)

    Wish you didn't see this news...

    Your tears are being re-purposed into the form of big ol' hug...

    And I thank you for them, dear friend!

    Now, no worries....doctor's orders:)

    Tongue Out

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    This is hard news,

    but I'm glad to hear that there may still be some hope, whether in the form of "not cancer" or in the form of "cancer that can be treated".  I know (or at least I think I know) how hard this must be to accept, after being in remission for such a long stretch.  I have scans in August, and I'm all too aware that my own period of being NEDesque could be coming to an end.   These multiple recurrences are so disheatening.  But although three always seems to be the magic number, at least in all the best tales...who says number four won't be the one to do the trick in the tale of Sundanceh?  I firmly believe that you still have the chance to get to NED for good.  And we'll be right here, going along for the ride with you.  Sending a little Seattle strength your way~AA

    Dear Annie:)

    Yeah, Ann

    This period I worked so hard for, was just squandered by working a full-time job....and my dad as a full-time job....we've been working on our lives this year and it is a mess everywhere we look, but still we keep trying.

    So, I feel cheated to a large degree, even though I got the longest time ever....it really wasn't, because I could not get this rocket off the launch pad. 

    Maybe, this has not really sunk in yet, because it has not confirmed, though we all feel pretty sure....

    #4 would be telling us all alot of things if we wanted to listen to the truth of it....

    Chance?

    Well, I've always maintanined that a Chance is all that we can ever really ask for, isn't it?

    And so, I'll side with you on this one.

    What would we name this battle campaign, Ann? 

    No More After Four!

     At least it rhymes, LOL!

    Sending you early best wishes for your August date....may it be what we both hope it will be...

    "Lots-o-Love"

    -Craig

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    jen2012 said:

    Crud....sorry for your
    Crud....sorry for your news...but it sounds like you have a plan and you will get through this once again.

    Jen

    The man with the plan?

    For my next magic trick, I'm gonna' pull a rabbit out of my hat:)

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

     
    Well now, ain't that news a

     

    Well now, ain't that news a kicker.  :(   I guess it's time to bring out Big Billy my friend.  At least the doctor has a few options available, that's good news.  You can do it dear, the Lion will roar once again!

    Love ya,

    Cyn

    Hey Cyn:)

    Big Billy is out signing autographs!

    Cool